I have seen such a sentence:
"Being generous is never an easy task, and being wrongly generous will not bring heaven to others, it will only drag you down to hell."
Perhaps, in life, we will habitually feel that people are mutual, and they are generous to others, then they will inevitably exchange the same feedback.
But in fact, although there are many people in the world who understand the reward of en tu, there are many people who take kindness for granted, and even take revenge for it.
As you get older, you will eventually understand that not everyone knows the preciousness of friendship, and not everyone knows how to cherish it.
Blindly being generous to people who are not worthy will eventually backfire, even if you are tired and tired, you will not be able to get half a good.
It is undeniable that in walking in the world, people need to be generous, but generosity must divide people.
For the following three kinds of people, even if you have money, you must put away your own generosity.
Only know how to nibble on the old children
Saying goes:
"Poor parents in the world."
In Chinese families, most parents have a heart to give selflessly to their children.
They will hold their children in the palm of their hands and take care of them, afraid that they will not have enough to eat and wear, but whenever the other party has any requirements, even if it is difficult and difficult, they will do their best to meet them.
But we should know that the love of parents for their children is sometimes a double-edged sword.
Proper love will make the child warm inside and live actively, but excessive coddling can easily deprive the child of the right to grow.
In the TV series "Centimeters of Love", Guan Zhenlei is a child who is too well protected by his parents, and what Guan Zhenlei wants, his parents give.
In this way, in the doting of his parents, Guan Zhenlei not only did not seek progress in his work, but also became extremely selfish in his life.
In the end, not only did he make a mess of his life, but he also made the whole family uneasy.
It is undeniable that as parents, everyone wants to protect their children well and does not want them to be wronged.
However, you must understand that no matter how much you wish, you cannot walk all the roads for your children, some suffering, some tiredness, and they need to bear it themselves.
Therefore, for children who only know how to nibble on the old, even if they can't bear it, they must put away their own generosity.
Only when they are no longer easily available and no longer feel that they have a backer, can they force themselves to grow and better face the mud and rain in the future.
Relatives who always want to take advantage
In life, there will always be some people who especially like to take advantage of the banner of relatives.
When you tolerate it in order not to hurt the friendship, they will not only not accept it when they see it, but will have to make progress, and the result of blind tolerance can only make you more troubled.
When one day you really can't bear to refuse, the other party is likely to turn against each other because of the psychological gap.
I have seen such a small story on the Internet:
A man who works well in the city and brings home a lot of things every time he comes home.
Every time he comes home, a relative will come to the door, and when he leaves, he will not return empty-handed, either with some food or with some use.
Because they are all relatives, although the men are very unhappy, they do not think too much.
Later, once, because the man was in a hurry to go home, he did not take something home, and this relative naturally did not get any benefits when he came to the door again.
But the next day, the man found that this relative said all kinds of bad things about himself behind his back, what "for the rich is not kind", "forget the relatives when he goes out"... Something like that.
Someone said:
"Fish swimming in the water will forget that there is water; birds will fly in the wind and will not know that there is wind."
For those who like to take advantage, they are never satisfied and do not know gratitude.
When you are blindly generous, then for a long time, they will take all your good for granted.
Once one day, you are not so good to him, then he will immediately turn his face and even give you a heavy blow.
So, when you meet relatives who always take advantage, never be generous, only when you are stingy at the beginning, can you let him understand the boundaries, and ultimately let you have a lot less trouble.
A friend who borrows money and does not pay it back
Shakespeare said:
"Money is a great magic wand that can change a person's appearance at will."
Money is not only a mirror of feelings, but also a touchstone of character.
The kind of person who can borrow money and not pay it back is actually a typical person who does not understand gratitude.
Treat such people generously, and eventually you will find that even if you pay more, you will not be able to warm the other person's heart.
My friend Huazi once told such an experience.
At the beginning of his work, he met a colleague who had joined the company together, and since the two were fellow countrymen, they quickly became good friends.
However, in getting along together, Huazi found that this friend had a very bad habit, that is, he would never take the initiative to repay the borrowed money.
At first, because it was all small money, Hanako did not think too much about it.
Later, this colleague wanted to borrow ten thousand yuan from Huazi, saying that it was an emergency at home. Although ten thousand is not too much, for Hanako, who has just worked, it is almost all his savings.
However, in the end, Huazi was hindered by the friendship and lent him the money.
Later, however, when Huazi needed money to make this colleague pay back, this colleague not only paid the account, but also spoke ill of Huazi.
Whenever she talks about this experience, Huazi always sighs:
"Money is really a touchstone of character."
I like a quote from Teacher Zhou Guoping:
"It's not worth wasting any emotion, even angry feelings, on a certain type of person."
Gold tests with fire, and people test with money.
Treat the kind of friends who borrow money and don't pay them back, it is enough to meet the last time, and then you must not be generous again.
After all, no one's money is blown by the wind, and it is not flattering to lend it out, so why bother?
There is a problem on Zhihu:
At what point did you decide not to be generous anymore?
I particularly like one answer:
"In fact, I never decided not to be generous, but I decided not to be generous to anyone anymore."
It is a virtue to be generous with the right person, but it is stupid to use the wrong person.
In one lifetime, even if you have money, don't be too generous to the above three kinds of people.
Only in this way can you have a lot less trouble and live your life comfortably.
END
Author: Away from the rain slightly cool, a rational, emotional, like to use words to express personal views, bring you spiritual healing, emotional solution, life perception of the post-90s writer.