#搞笑一刻 #
With the hand of the son, drag the son away, and if the son does not go, he is dizzy and continues to drag away.
Love is like a ghost, there are more people who believe, but fewer people who see it.
Love is a brick, marriage is a mountain. There are not many bricks, there is a spirit; the mountain is not high, just keep it for a lifetime.
Love becomes marriage, which is nothing more than slowly turning feelings into tolerance, which may also be mixed with unpredictable bearing.
Don't swear to me, I'm afraid you'll be struck by lightning!
Don't talk to me about ideals, quit!
Other people's money is something outside of me.
Don't be nervous, I'm not a nice guy...
Don't tell me to let the horse come over---- I'm Avanti!
Don't just mix from the bottom, just mix it up.
Don't bet on youth for tomorrow, there will be no tomorrow if you lose.
Don't say I'm arrogant, I just don't deal with beasts.
Don't thank you, thank you how good to collect money from you!
Don't go that far, who guarantees you'll live to that day.
Don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy. We have the ability to get married.
Everyone else was pretending to be serious, and I had to pretend not to be serious.
Don't ask your sister about the east and west, Baidu knows more than your sister, and if you have any questions, find him!
Don't do something wrong and throw any dirty water on yourself, my sister still has to stay in the toilet.
There are so many people who despise me, how old are you?
The secret to maintaining youth is to have a restless heart.
Don't be obsessed with brother, sister-in-law will beat you.
Don't waste new tears for old grief.
Don't call me Night Owl, call me Brother: Black Man!
The people who do not want to be slaves are willing to be slaves to the renminbi.
Don't be too nice to me and make me confused whether you're in love or friendship.
Not deleting you, just to see how you write your feelings for that woman.
Without experiencing the collapse of Monday morning, you would not know the value of Friday afternoon.
It's not that I don't want to be a lady, it's that life has forced the old woman into a shrew...
Not loving without loving is a kind of masochism; having love without loving is a kind of self-harm.
Don't want to answer my phone and just say, don't always let home mobile help you say sorry to me...
Pickle the shadows, air dry, and when they're old, serve wine.
Plant you in a pot so that you know what a vegetative person is!
There was a sister in the office who was fierce, and it was cold to see her shaking her feet. Q, what's wrong? A: Urgency. Q: Why not solve it? A: Keep warm.
From heaven to hell, I was just passing through the human world.
MLM is where rabbits eat nest grass.
Once the sea was rotten and rotten, it was not enough to gather and disperse.
Longevity secret - keep breathing, don't lose your breath.
It is rumored that men who are not good to women will make sanitary napkins in the next life.
Talent is actually to use the same intelligence as people to be different.
Little girl: Brother, you are so handsome! Me: Not handsome, not handsome, casually long.
The life of a foodie is like a train, summed up, shopping- eating, shopping- eating.
If you eat it, you will not spit it out again, so think clearly before eating. Love too.
Get out of my life with yours for my good.
Master Brother, the meat of the Second Master Brother is now more expensive than the Master's!
The earth is in motion, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.
Geography Teacher: Which of the four oceans are they? Answer: Happy sheep, beautiful sheep, lazy sheep, boiling sheep.
When I try to improve my self-cultivation, there are always some people who just like to run over and be cannon fodder... Then I have to change my perspective and complete you!
The generation gap is that you ask Dad: What do you think of "Chrysanthemum Stage"? Dad thinks about it and says: I haven't drunk it
Use 2B to describe you, people pencils are not happy.
I am a Chinese armor warrior, and I look down on Ultraman in Japan.
Behind the scenery, it is either vicissitudes or dirty.
House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men...
Brother is an old Chinese medicine doctor who specializes in bragging B.
The only thing that the brother has taken up and put down now is chopsticks.
The customer is not God, the customer is just deceived.
Advertising is to tell others that money can be spent this way.
High jobs are not as good as high salaries, high salaries are not as good as high life, and high life is not as good as happiness.
Thank you for the hypocrisy for suddenly being sincere, and thank you for the lies for making them come true.
It's not enough to have a pair of eyes that find beauty, the key is that your eyes must also be able to discover their own ugliness.
Many things fall somewhere between not saying suffocation and saying hypocrisy.
Hate, sometimes misuses the power of love.
It is better to spend money before the moon.
I don't do the things I regret, I only do the things that make you regret it.
Joy is as fleeting as fireworks, and feelings are as fragile as glass.
There are many ways to destroy friendships, the most radical of which is to borrow money.
Living wastes air, dead wastes land, half-dead wastes RMB.
You are the master of the words before they are spoken, and after they are spoken, you become the slaves of the words.
After a long time of contact with people, I like dogs more and more, dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people.
The difference between a lie and a vow is that one is that the person who listens is serious, and the other is that the person who says it is serious.
Pregnancy is like pregnancy, and it takes a long time to let people see it. As long as you are pregnant, you are not afraid of not being able to give birth to a child!
The person you have laughed with, you may forget him, but the person who cried with you, you will never forget.
Shake hands with handsome men, talk to deep men about their hearts, communicate more with successful men, and live with ordinary men.
Good friends don't need much, two is enough, one is willing to lend you money, and when he asks you for a debt, the other is willing to beat him to death.
Henan Wa asked Henan mother: ABCDEFG how to make a sentence? Henan Mother: A, this B child, C's family? Stand barefoot on the D, EF is not wearing it, GG is still exposed! Ha ha.
Distance does not produce beauty, it is the little three.
A slut is a slut, and an economic crisis can't be expensive!
Give it to me and you don't have to worry about it, there is nothing wrong with it!
Sister is not a customer service staff, you do not have the right to ask sister to answer this answer that.
Even if you want to cry again, you must smile and say: Your uncle's!
Money is like toilet paper, it looks like a lot, and when it is used, it is gone.
Mistakes will be wrong, or calculations will be counted, and anyway, they will be counted.
The weather was nice today, windy and rainy.
The customer went to the bank to pick up regularly, sat down and said something that made me faint: "Hello, my time of death has arrived." ”
Laugh when you're happy, and laugh again later when you're unhappy.
It's not hard to drive, just be afraid of new people!
Lao Tzu not only has a car, but also has his own!
Tired? Tired is right, comfort is reserved for the dead.
Wolves walk the world and eat meat; dogs walk the world and eat.
He didn't hear anything out of the window and watched only soap operas.
When Lao Tzu came to this world, he had no intention of returning alive!
How many points the teacher gave me, how many years I wished the teacher to live.
In history, only the names of people are true; in novels, only the names of people are false.
The feelings between the two are like knitting sweaters, one stitch and one thread when established, careful and long, and only a gentle pull when dismantling.
The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked:
"Do you want metering, backlit, or full light?" Uncle said shyly, "I don't care, can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt?" ”
The two brothers were chased by the tiger, and the younger brother really couldn't run, so he said, "Brother, let's not run, and this beast is alive and dead" The brother said: "Don't rip the egg, I can't run it, I can run past you." ”
Long road of life, has been lost.
Dreams are not realized because they are not realistic enough.
No one held my hand, I carried it in my pocket.
There are no constant promises, only endless lies.
No one gives you a step down, so move a chair yourself.
When there is no money, the wife and secretary; when there is money, the secretary and wife.
No one looks down on you, because no one else looks at you at all, and everyone is busy.
My world was black and white before I met you. After meeting you, my world went completely dark.
If you can do it, try not to make noise.
The female eldest eighteen changes, and the more she changes, the more casual it becomes.
Men have to be rich and have a relationship with everyone.
The era when profligacy was allowed was called youth.
You roll me, roll non-stop...
You are the best example of an abortion failure!
I don't even believe in punctuation in your words.
If you don't harm others, you contribute to society!
It doesn't matter if the head is empty, the key is not to enter the water.
I'd rather run into a wall than face a wall at home. I'd rather be fat and delicate than be skinny.
I'd rather be sad and deep than happy superficial.
If you ignore me, then I will become a dog and ignore me!
You have limited access to me and I'll let you blacklist you.
You don't always have a constipated look of depression!
You're talking about the beginning of the countdown to our end.
Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple INTELLIGENCE.
You are a very kind person, especially when you are sorry for people...
Cow dung is cow dung after all, and when steamed in the pot, it will not become fragrant.
If the promise is not credulous, the old man will not fail me; the promise is not lightly promised, so I will not fail the man.
Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry show that you are useless.
Men lie to make themselves feel better; women lie to make each other feel better.
Women like men who are secure; men tend to be attracted to insecure women.
Men paying money is a relationship between lovers, women paying money is a husband and wife relationship, and men and women rushing to pay money is a friendship relationship.
The time a man maintains interest is usually proportional to the amount of time his prey struggles, and the faster he surrenders, the sooner he falls out of favor.
Men love to look at women with their eyes, and they are most easily confused by beauty; women love to look at men with their hearts, and they are most vulnerable to hurt and torment.
Nietzsche went to the interview, and the interviewer asked, "What's your name?" "Nietzsche." "Guess you're a grandmother!" next! ”
Boyfriend and girlfriend go shopping together, girlfriend: Oh, my feet are so sore. Boyfriend is nervous: what's wrong? Did you step on the lemon?
The only difference between a friend and an assassin is: the assassin stabs you in the back, and you turn back and say bitterly, Ah, are you? A friend stabs you in the back, and you look back in surprise and say, Ah, it's you!
Holding your hand and walking with your eyes closed, I won't get lost.
Go and go, don't waste the word youth, you are already in autumn.
May I ask you, is your coffin sliding or clamshelling?
Please don't call me an otaku, please call me a house lock; please don't call me a housewife, please call me Marie Curie.
Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings; between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.
Honey, you must believe me, I am dizzy even on a boat, let alone two boats?
Since ancient times, no one has died, and the untouchables will die first and then die.
People are not afraid of death, but they are most afraid of not knowing how to live!
People always like to deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.
Life in the world is nothing more than to make others laugh and laugh, and occasionally laugh at others.
Life is like a phone call, either you hang up first, or I hang up first.
The difference between a man and a pig is that a pig has always been a pig, and sometimes a man is not a man!
Life is a chess piece, I am willing to be a pawn, although the action is slow, but who has ever seen me take a step back.
Life is like a labyrinth, we use the first half of our lives to find the entrance, and the second half of our lives to find the exit.
Life is like a drama, all rely on acting skills. Believe it or not, I slapped you against the wall and couldn't cut it down.
People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do some good things, and people who do some bad things always think that ghosts and gods don't know, and we are too embarrassed for ghosts.
If my life is a movie, you're the one that pops up.
If you can't forget him, don't forget him. True forgetting does not require effort.
If you're my dish, sorry, I don't want to eat a dish lately. Besides, you're not my dish...
If you have pressure (duck pear), put it in the fridge and it will turn into power (frozen pear)!
The oath was just a gaffe.
Life and death look down, and if you don't obey, you will do it.
Life is actually very simple, after today is tomorrow.
It is the wolf who refines the teeth, and the sheep who refines the legs.
Handsome has a P use? I don't know if I was eaten by a pawn!
Brushing your teeth is a joyous thing, because you hold a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other.
The world is big, there is love around the corner, I am gone, you are at will!
There are three kinds of people in the world: one is that the conscience is eaten by the dog, the second is that the conscience is not eaten by the dog, and the third is that the conscience does not even eat the dog.
"President Yamaki resigned because of the rape of the door" followed: "Who is such a beast, even the door is raped!" ”
"Tong Da gave birth to a baby girl for his wife" followed: "Who is Tong Da? So powerful! ”
The road to success is always in construction.
The idea of stealing one person is plagiarism, and the idea of stealing many people is research.
The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is not right, and no amount of effort is useful.
People who treat themselves too much as a root onion are often particularly good at: garlic.
People who are too sane are bound to miss the opportunity to go astray and the beauty that mistakes bring along the way.
I don't tidy up the room, I'm a messy lady.
I'm very attractive, and you have to be patient.
I am flat chest I am proud, I am cloth for the country province.
I can give up the choice, but I can't choose to give up.
I don't scold you because I don't want to compliment you, you know?
My mother said that the prodigal son did not change the gold, who gave me the gold? I change.
We are all far-sighted, blurring the happiness closest to us.
I'm young and need your pointing, but I don't need you to point.
Don't tell ghost stories at night, because people love to hear them, and ghosts love to listen.
Wumao and Wumao are the happiest because they are together.
I'm not a fortune teller on the overpass, and I can't tell you so much about what you love to hear.
I will always remember you until one day I can't even remember myself.
I feel like you're like two pigs, because one pig can no longer describe your stupidity.
I have rubbed shoulders with a person countless times, and my clothes have been torn and there has been no spark.
I looked into the mirror and said: Mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful in the world? The mirror shattered.
The socks cried: The stinky one was originally a foot, but people blamed me. God laughs: Who made you hug your feet.
There are two ways to pollute a place: with garbage, or with banknotes!
It's not your fault that you want to be a second mother, but it's your fault to come to college!
I like to smoke because it can hurt my lungs, but I don't feel sad.
Brother I threw a brick first, and there was jade although it smashed over.
In reality, real names are used to tell lies, and pseudonyms are used on the Internet to tell the truth.
Elementary school students are one team and one team, middle school students are piled up, and college students are one-on-one pairs.
Endure or be cruel.
A person's success in a lifetime is not successful depends on the memorial service.
What a terrible fool an educated fool is!
Because I used to dig my lungs out too much, I didn't have a heart and lungs now.
Mandarin ducks play in the water, all drowned; than wings flying, all fall to death.
Hold the hand of the Son and drag the Son away.
Long insole face, don't blame people for stepping on it.
Go your own way and split the way with the love soldiers.
Since I got a neuropathy, the whole person has a lot of energy!
The early birds are eaten by insects, and the early birds are eaten by birds!
Last night I took your promise to feed the dog and the next morning found the dog dead.
Yesterday I picked up a mouse pad and wanted to match a computer, but what else is missing?
Men who come home early tell stories to their wives; men who come home late make up stories for their wives.
Read the whole paragraph in one breath: Your Excellency, is it not a dung ball that was once rolled by Xiao Shami's low-energy dog Wang Cai, a cockroach Xiao Qiang, who was rare in the world when Huashan on sword and martial arts was alone in the world?
Liu Neng's classic 30 sentences:
1. Brother is not a rag, can not do let you shout at will.
2. Your shortness is lifelong, my fatness is temporary.
3. Don't come to me when you're bored, or I'll look superfluous.
4. Don't compare people to dogs, dogs are at least loyal.
5. Goose goose goose, cut the koji with a knife, pluck the hair and add a scoop of water, light the fire and cover the pot!
6. Even if you have a name for the Lord, I will transfer the flowers and trees.
7. There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I am afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out.
8. Country, why didn't you take your face to study body armor?
9. There is only one channel in your heart The most hateful thing is that there are no ads yet.
10. Hang a mosquito net to sleep naked in it, tease mosquitoes, and kill it.
11. The greatest revenge for you is to live happier than you.
12. Don't put pressure on me, that will be my motivation to be your boss.
13. When the day of hoeing is noon, nothing depends on the general. There is nothing to do in idleness, it is better to fight the landlord.
14. The teacher said: There is no regret medicine in the world, only rat poison.
15. When I have money, I'll take my most hated people to the best neurology hospitals!
16. If the teacher hadn't said you can't litter, I would have thrown you out earlier.
17. If I win five million, I think I'll donate it to my own account.
18. Without toads, swans will be lonely. I'm not a straw boat, and don't send it to me.
19. Every time you ask someone to eat it? In fact, I was starving to death.
20. I'm actually in pretty good shape, fat but not greasy.
21. I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.
22. I am a bare stick I am ashamed, I give the country to save paper.
23. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people soak him every day.
24. Do you know how much courage it takes me to dial your number, but you turn it off.
25. Comparing these two fish who are handsome and handsome is tomorrow's dish.
26. Yeah. You are more famous, you have made more than 100 movies, and now you are not allowed to broadcast them.
27. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.
28. Wolf heart dog lungs are always better than tearing heart and lungs.
29. Look at your rankings and you'll know how many people are in your class.
30. People in high society always like to do something obscene.