Keep a proper distance, isn't it fragrant?

We all say that distance produces beauty, which also applies to the relationship between husband and wife, giving both parties a little appropriate time and space, so that "intimacy" becomes "intimate and intimate", which is also a good choice.

Netizen comments: Husband and wife, no matter how intimate and harmonious, but still give each other private time and space, on the one hand, it helps to maintain the freshness, mystery and attractiveness between each other, on the other hand, it will be able to let each of them comb through when they encounter problems, so that they can treat problems more objectively and rationally.

Marriage will become boring because of the length of time, in order to make life and love, can maintain a sense of freshness, can allow each other to leave a little "private space", but will run the marriage better.

Leaving a certain spatial distance for each other is to give each other's trust, but also to give their own trust, respect each other's "private space" at the same time, but also let their love continue to blossom unconsciously.

【1】

Don't control everything the other person's actions

The great Russian writer Lev Tolstoy said in the Kretzer Sonata:

"We are like two prisoners, locked together and hating each other, destroying each other's lives while trying to turn a blind eye."

When Tolstoy was 34 years old, he met 18-year-old Sophia and then fell in love and married.

Tolstoy lived a life of spending time before marriage, and had a son with a slave girl, and after the marriage, he felt that he should not hide anything from the person he loved, so he let Sophia read all his diaries.

Sophia felt bitter and insecure about Tolstoy's premarital behavior, and for the rest of her life she maintained her sense of security by controlling everything about Tolstoy.

She was jealous of everyone close to Tolstoy, including relatives, friends, and even the love stories in his works.

Sophia committed suicide several times in her life, forcing Tolstoy to compromise with her, and he tracked Tolstoy, looking for every place in the study, and tearing up all the pictures of Tolstoy and others like crazy.

Tolstoy was in pain, fled all his life, and finally ran away from home a month after their forty-eighth wedding anniversary.

Eleven days later, he died in a humble country railway station and did not want to see Sophia until his death.

Tolstoy escapes Sophia's control with death, and the story is a bit tragic, but in real life, a similar situation happens.

Gibran once said, "Leave some space in your ears for each other, and let the winds of heaven dance among you." Love one another, but don't let love become a shackle, let love become a rough sea, flowing between the shores of your souls. ”

Because of fear, so firmly control the other party in their own hands, control under their own eyes, and rely on this to gain a sense of security.

The person we originally loved, at the mercy of our intentions or unconsciousness, has become a stranger, thinking that we are getting closer to him, but in fact pushing him outward.

Give the other party a little free space appropriately, let his mind be released, in order to make room for you, the heart is close, and the emotions are maintained.

【2】

Don't treat the other person as your personal property

In an emotional show, a man tells about his marriage:

Everything about his daily life is controlled by his wife: all his salary is turned in, and his mobile phone is checked at any time.

Usually he answers a phone at home, and his wife has to lean over to eavesdrop, if it is a woman's voice, she will definitely ask the truth.

Colleagues should report in advance, send a good positioning, take pictures of the scene to her, if there is a girl involved, to say who it is.

Once he learned to be obedient, deliberately not to shoot girls into it, his wife raided the party scene, just happened to sit next to a woman, almost performed a hand tearing "little three" big scene.

He begged his wife to give him some private space, and her wife narrowed her eyes and said innocently: "I am your wife, can't I know all about your affairs?" ”

He argued, "It's true that you're my wife, but I also need some space for myself?" ”

His wife was even more astonishing: "You are married to me, yours is mine, and everything about you is mine!" ”

The man was miserable, he did not understand, how to get married, not even the freedom to control himself, inexplicably became the other party's private goods.

Some people commented: "In the relationship between husband and wife, we are two circles that can clearly distinguish each other, can overlap, can intersect, or can leave, no matter what kind of situation, but more is independent." ”

We are all independent individuals, we can't take the other as our own private property, and when the other person is slightly disobedient to his own situation, he feels out of control.

We forget that the other person is a person with thoughts, freedom, and power, not our arms and legs, they have their own thoughts and behaviors, and they cannot all be controlled by us.

We can love the other person's whole, but we must also give the other person freedom, and we cannot unreasonably possess him because of your "love".

【3】

Giving each other the right space will bring the two sides closer

With the passage of time, the hot love period of love passes quickly, one party is still addicted to it, and the other party can no longer stand sticking together every day, can not say that it is no longer love, can only say that this love begins to suffocate people.

Colleague Jojo is in love, as soon as he has time, he holds a mobile phone, and everything must be reported to the other party, and the other party will also respond at the first time.

Recently Jojo was a little depressed, she said that the boyfriend's response to letters has become very slow, and there is very little reply, there must be a problem.

At this time, Sister Zhang reminded her as a person who came over: "The person who can return to you in 24 hours is not necessarily the person who loves you, but it must be an idle person, and 24 hours are spent on chatting, what will your future be like?" ”

A word to wake up the dreamer, almost overwhelmed by love, now she concentrates on work, after work to sign up for interest classes, and does not send those non-nutritious messages to her boyfriend.

On the contrary, the boyfriend feels that she is getting better and better, appreciates her more, and is willing to squeeze into her circle.

We always think that as long as the other party is with us every day, it is considered to have; love to the habits of both parties, the feelings will be long-lasting, and forgetting to give each other a little space is the best state in the relationship.

You can have your own independent life, or you can occasionally pull the other person into a part of your life, or you can wander into a part of the other person's life, which is the best way to get along.

The French writer Moluwa once said: "In a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's tastes and hobbies, thinking that two people can have the same thoughts, the same judgments, the same will, is the most absurd idea." ”

Milk tea Rene Liu wrote in her book that he and her husband have their own bedrooms, and so far the two have slept in separate rooms for 9 years, but the relationship between the family of three has always been very good.

Give each other the right space, if too close, will be seen through by the other party, thus losing the sense of mystery, if you can maintain the delicate state of the early stage of love, it will make the marriage more fresh.

The two live together, through continuous communication, on the basis of respect for each other, run out the most suitable way for both parties to get along, in order to live a happy married life.

By constantly trying, trying, and constantly making changes to our happy relationships, we will eventually get better and better.