01
Be human and don't believe in tears too much.
Sympathizing with the weak is not something that everyone has to do.
You must know how to rely on yourself, and you don't have to think of yourself as a "shorter" person.
The writer Yi Shu once said: "People can only live once, and they must first entertain themselves and then entertain others." ”
Smiling at people, that's politeness, learning to for tat, that's anger. You really don't have to hide your joys and sorrows too deeply. Learning to fight back is also one of the skills of survival.
02
People who don't know how to respond will only hurt themselves.
In "Encounter", Lu Yu wrote such a plot: a girl who went to high school took a lot of medicine because of a serious illness, resulting in a particularly fat figure.
All the classmates know her situation, but only some of them express sympathy, and most of the classmates regard her as a joke.
Someone gave her a nickname, which was very ugly. In the speech competition, she tried to express herself, but because she wore a skirt with vertical stripes, she was talked about, and in the group of classmates, someone took ugly photos.
The malicious words, as well as the embarrassing picture, made her particularly uncomfortable.
Whether or not to go to school, she was hesitant.
Originally, people interact with each other equally. But there are always people who raise themselves very high; there are also people who think themselves very low. Different mentalities lead to different patterns and momentums. The hierarchy of people is reflected.
Gorky said, "People don't value their strength very much – that's why they're weak." ”
Many times, it is not others who defeat us, but our own "weak heart". Therefore, the courage to return to the back disappeared, it was myself who was sad, it was myself who hesitated, and it was I who swallowed my anger.
03
To be a person, you need the bottom line.
There is an old movie , "Truant Veyron".
Stephen Chow plays a policeman who sneaks to the school to work and appears as a student.
When the campus overlord wants to collect protection money from his classmates, Zhou Xingchi invites the overlords to the roof to duel. I thought that the overlords could win more with less, but they were kicked down by Zhou Xingchi three or five times.
The Overlord hit him with the ball, and he can also be blocked back and kick the ball out.
Movies come from life and are higher than life. But it still illustrates the reality that there are people in any group who are bullied.
As a weak person, it seems that you can only "endure" and there is no other way. Facts tell us that this is not the case. Sometimes, it's just that you underestimate yourself too much.
Zeng Guofan, a famous minister of the late Qing Dynasty, said: "The word wrath is also used by sages, and it is especially possible to endure less and be patient, so that it will not hurt life." ”
Feng Menglong, a literary scholar of the Ming Dynasty, said: "If you don't think twice about things, you will eventually regret it, and people can endure and worry about themselves." ”
The wisdom of being a human being is "one endure and then endure, one endure to the end", and there is also "intolerable, no need to endure anymore".
04
When you encounter these three kinds of people, don't put up with it.
There is a limit to patience. Everyone can't lose themselves. You can't fight with others like the chivalrous guests in the movie, but you can have the courage to "return to the back", and you can't let the villains show off their might everywhere.
First, the person who pinches the sore spot.
The girl mentioned at the beginning was maliciously teased and took people's illness as a talking point. Verbal wounds, like a handful of salt, are sprinkled on wounds. How much pain it really is, only the person concerned understands.
"Which pot does not open which pot", people who like to do this have no public morality. You are a little bit vicious toward him, that is to save him, not to bully him.
When you are in great pain, tears flow out, but you can only grit your teeth, bow your head, and when you are pinched, hold your head with your arms, and don't even dare to look at the other person's face.
At the very least, you should stand up and give him a look. If you're really timid, you should also tell your friends and parents about things and look for strength that can help you.
Take the initiative to make friends with kind people. To go anywhere, it is better to walk in company, not like a lone lamb, wailing pitifully.
If you have friends around you, the possibility of retaliation becomes greater.
Also, you should face up to your pain. You don't have to stare at the scars every day. When someone reveals your scar, you can smile casually. The attitude of not minding is also a way to return the favor.
Second, the people who stir up dissension.
In any group, there are intricate interpersonal relationships. This is not something that one person can control.
There are always people who use these complicated relationships to make people "rebel in the nest" and then reap the benefits of the fisherman.
Let's say you're doing business with friends and making a lot of money. The third person is not accustomed to it, and wants to stir up your business, so they deliberately provoke your relationship with friends, expose some dark sides, or say something out of nothing.
For such a villain, you do not explain it to him, but give him a little color - to expose his "lies" and tear apart his true face and purpose.
As long as you have a clear conscience, why should you be afraid of others talking nonsense? The more you bow your head, the more vigorously others speak, but they will "become tigers in three".
Third, the one who has to make progress.
There are some people, who were originally poor people, who have received your help. However, he does not know how to be grateful, and he talks nonsense behind his back, forcing you to help him again and again.
There was once such an incident - the actor Sun Li helped a poor student.
At first, Sun Li helped him as a "stranger", and later, when the student went to college and learned of Sun Li's true identity, he tried to get more help, and if he could not get his wish, he would "destroy her".
Sun Li did not give in, but decisively stopped helping.
Using practical actions to "recoil" villains is more powerful than nagging and talking about a bunch.
Helping people is a feeling, and not helping is a duty. Why be nice to others all the time? If the other party is not grateful and blindly asks for it, then it is not polite to say - goodbye, never see you again.
05
Everyone has the right to speak, and cannot become dumb at a critical time.
When appropriate, there is nothing wrong with suppressing the momentum of the other party.
Of course, the recoil is not to let you spill, let alone let you fight with others, but in the premise of "knowing yourself and knowing the other", under the premise of being able to protect yourself, you will splash back the dirty water that others have spilled. It is necessary to understand the technique of "Ezhu Kegang". Let's say keeping your distance, making yourself particularly good, etc.
Everyone has the right to be themselves, but they can't interfere with others because of it.
Encourage with the King.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.