Friends and brothers and sisters both work in the provincial city, the family is stable, and the life is happy. The only thing missing is that my parents still live in the county town, which is hundreds of kilometers away.
Seeing that their parents are getting older and going out on weekdays, the brothers and sisters are worried about all kinds of worries, afraid that they have a mistake.
However, the holidays in the year are limited, and they can only go home to see their parents when their children are not in school, so they feel that it is inconvenient.
Considering the future life of their parents, the brothers and sisters want to buy a small apartment and take their parents to live in the provincial city, which not only saves the time to go back to see their parents, but also frees up their hands to take care of the second elder.
However, the work of parents can not be done in any way, they think that leaving their familiar living environment, leaving their relatives and friends, and going to a strange city will not adapt, and they will not do anything.
Friends are helpless, but they can't find a more suitable way.
Speaking of the pension problem, it is indeed a difficult thing to balance. The grace of parents has to be repaid.
However, for the children, their own families must also take care of them, and it is impossible to leave their jobs alone. But what exactly does it take to support parents to achieve everyone's satisfaction?
Many people feel that bringing their parents to their side is the best way to provide for the elderly. But in fact, there may be many contradictions here, if the parents live with themselves, how should the partner and the parents get along?
It's not that the partner's heart is not good, it's just the difference in the life concepts and habits of the two generations, and you can endure your parents, but why ask your partner to be perfect?
In turn, parents will feel that this is not their own home, living in an uncomfortable place, always look at other people's faces.
The famous host Sabine once mentioned the topic of pension, he had a successful career, he brought his parents from his hometown to Beijing, he thought that this was filial piety, but he did not expect that his parents were getting unhappier and happier.
The parents thought they could stay with their sons, but Sabine was so busy at work that he didn't have time to spend with them. When he got home from work, his parents were resting.
What they need is companionship, but in fact, his parents can't see him at all, but because he gave up his original circle of life, he can only be trapped in a big house.
We are not as good as Sabine in terms of income and social status, even if he is still facing such confusion for his parents, and most of us still have to live in the same room with our parents, and contradictions and frictions may occur at any time.
So, where does it start to give parents a happy old age?
Therefore, taking parents to the side of the elderly does not necessarily mean truly honoring them. Respecting the parents' pension plan and taking their feelings as the benchmark is filial piety.
Friends and siblings refer to the plans of many people and decide to accompany their future parents to their pension when they need it.
At the current age of a friend's parents, if there are no accidents, they can take care of themselves within 5 years.
After 5 years, her friend's child is about to enter college, and the nature of her work is that she can arrange her own time, so she can return to the county with her husband to accompany her parents to take care of them.
This not only takes care of the parents' feelings, respects their living habits, but also achieves the purpose of supporting their parents.
The friend's brother can't take care of his parents because of his work, but he can run a few more trips back to visit him in normal times, and give his friend a certain amount of compensation financially.
In fact, many families have headaches when considering the issue of providing for their parents.
After all, separating the two places, distance is an inextricable topic. Because it is necessary to take on the responsibilities and obligations of the family, it is impossible to leave everything for the parents to provide for the elderly.
In such a situation, you can only grievance your parents and take them to your side. But the result of this, on the surface, appears to be filial piety to parents, but in fact it is not the case.
It is indeed very difficult to get older people to leave their homes and adapt to unfamiliar cities. After some elderly people arrive in big cities, they are afraid of getting lost, lost, or do not understand the rules, and simply do not go out all day.
The impact may not be seen in a short period of time, but over time, the elderly will be physically and mentally harmed, which is not conducive to health.
In addition, for some elderly people with strong temperament, it is also easy to have conflicts with their children and their partners, resulting in family disharmony and difficulties for children.
However, not everyone has this condition in their hometown to accompany their parents for the elderly.
Many people are forced by their work and child-rearing responsibilities to make it impossible to do this. Choosing this way to provide for parents is only suitable for some people.
Others will choose a nanny for their parents, so that their parents can maintain a good mood by staying at home.
When the parents are older, most of them are in a state of divorce and retirement, and the children have grown up, at this time they can accompany their parents and take care of them with peace of mind.
Others will send their parents to a nursing home in good condition, after all, it is all the same age, the elderly are with each other, and the life is not too boring. I regularly bring my partner and children to visit the elderly.
In fact, there is no fixed form for parents to provide for the elderly.
But no matter how you choose, take your parents' opinions into account. After all, they have worked hard all their lives, and if they can't live according to their own ideas, they will definitely be affected emotionally.
If your parents are adaptable, it is not impossible to receive them, but try not to live under the same roof and keep a bowl of soup at a distance, which is good for everyone.
If your parents insist on not leaving their homeland, don't always consider it inconvenient for you to visit your parents. You know, when the son wants to raise and the relatives are not there, what is the use of you regretting it again?
It is more important than anything to spend more time with your parents while they are alive.
It's important to make money, but money can never buy your parents' love for you.
END.