Author: Babao Hmm Ha
(1) Gu Ying's self-pity
The shore of Xizi Lake has always been a place where literati and talents gather, and for thousands of years, how many wind and moon charms have been swirling here, and how many anecdotes and legends have circulated here.
Lonely Mountain is located in the corner of the West Lake, in a small courtyard of another family, for a long time, a beautiful woman with a sense of mourning at the corner of her eyebrows sat alone by the pool every day, sometimes muttering to herself, sometimes crying. The servants were curious, and as soon as they got closer, the faint crying of mosquitoes and flies also stopped, but if you looked closely, you could still see the tear marks on the woman's face that had not yet been wiped.
The next people were puzzled, and they all said that the girl they served was stupid, and even spoke to their own shadow.
The woman's name was Feng Xiaoqing, who was the concubine of Fujia FengTong, and was forced to live in seclusion in the Lonely Mountain Courtyard because she was jealous of the eldest woman in the family.
Every morning after freshening up, Xiao Qing went to the edge of the pool, saw his own reflection in the pool water, and over time he actually had pity: "Are you Xiao Qing with a thin life, I know you understand you, are you willing to show up and meet me?" Suddenly, he laughed and said, "Ignorant servants will only laugh at me, so why should I be a close friend with you, morning and evening?" ”
So day after day, Feng Xiaoqing developed feelings for her own reflection in the water, and she even wrote a small poem for her reflection: new makeup is actually in contention with drawings, and she knows that she is the first in Zhaoyang. The thin shadow from the spring water, Qing must pity me and I pity Qing.
In Western mythology, there is a beautiful teenager named Narcissus who falls in love with his reflection in the water because of narcissism, and Feng Xiaoqing's dialogue with his own reflection in the water is more out of self-pity.
It all starts with her life.
(2) The Friendship of Jinlan
Feng Xiaoqing was born in Yangzhou in the late Ming Dynasty, and her mother was a female school teacher who taught for the official eunuch Lady. She has been with her mother since she was a child, and she has received a good education and cultural influence, and she has been endowed with piano, chess, calligraphy, poetry and song.
When he was ten years old, an old nun from the family came to see that Feng Xiaoqing was smart and lovely, so he dictated a volume of the Heart Sutra to her. Unexpectedly, Feng Xiaoqing only listened to it once, and then memorized it all. Old Ni was both surprised and happy, and said to Feng Xiaoqing's parents: "Miss is so intelligent at such a young age, but it is easy to bring misfortune to her, it is better to give her to me as a disciple, and may also escape bad luck." But Xiaoqing's parents did not give up after all.
Such as flowers and beautiful, like the flow of water, in the breeze of Yangzhou City, Feng Xiaoqing gradually grew up, out of the way to become a Peugeot beauty, Yangzhou is originally a place of beauty and beauty, every time the bridesmaids gather, or taste tea, or write poetry and hand talk, Xiaoqing is one of the best. Unfortunately, during this period, the Feng family fell in the middle of the road, and the parents could not, so they had to sell Xiaoqing to the rich merchant Feng Tong's family as a concubine.
Xiao Qing came to Yuhang with Feng Tong, but unfortunately the Feng family's eldest wife did not have the capacity to tolerate people, she was jealous of Feng Xiaoqing's outstanding talent, and she was insulted in every way in her daily life. There is a relative of the eldest woman's family, Lady Yang, who often comes and goes, and she loves to come to Xiaoqing to play chess. Lady Yang herself was a rather talented lady, and Xiao Qing was very talkative, and over time, she saw Xiao Qing's embarrassing situation. Mrs. Yang pitied Xiaoqing and intended to help: "I see you on weekdays, whether it is a female worker or a talent, there is no one who is not proficient, it is a pity to fall in such a home, I want to save you from the fire pit, I don't know if you are willing?" ”
Xiao Qing stood up and thanked her, "The concubine is grateful to Lady Yu and treats me like a biological daughter." But I hate that my life is thin, like a falling leaf and death, I am afraid that there is no fate to serve the lady in this life. ”
Mrs. Yang did not give up. Once again, when the spring was bright, Madame Yang invited the eldest woman to take a boat ride in the West Lake and pulled Xiao Qing to accompany her. Lady Yang deliberately drunk the eldest woman, and then told Xiaoqing: "There is a building on this ship, you can accompany me up to see the scenery." ”
After going upstairs, looking at the splendid spring light on both sides of the strait, the flowers are confused, the tourists are weaving, and many young people in beautiful clothes are shuttling through it, Xiaoqing naturally knows Madame Yang's intentions, but sits down as if she can't see it.
Mrs. Yang originally wanted to use this scene to inspire Xiaoqing to bravely pursue her own happiness and did not want Xiaoqing to be discouraged to this point. Lady Yang whispered to Xiao Qing, "You see this distant mountain, the clear water and the sky, the good situation should be cherished, why do you bother to trap yourself in the Feng family?" Even if a woman like Liu Shi who mistakenly entered the Zhangtai still wants to marry a Lang Jun like Han Hong, you actually don't care about the flower world in front of you, only an empty view. ”
Xiao Qing said awe-inspiringly, "But Jia Pingzhang's sword blade is intimidating." "Jia Pingzhang is the Southern Song Dynasty traitor Jia Xiangdao, the Ming legend "Red Plum Record" wrote that once, he and his wife and concubine traveled with the West Lake, a beautiful concubine secretly sent Qiu Bo to the old lover across the boat, Jia Xiangdao found out and was furious and killed him.
Madame Yang took Xiao Qing's hand and pushed her heart to the stomach: "Xiao Qing, your talent is unparalleled in the world, and your style is exquisite, are you willing to be humiliated by the big woman?" Although I am not a heroine, I am willing to plan well for you and try my best to help you get out of the fire pit. You are a wise man, just now I told you about the allusion of Zhang Tailiu, will there be less talent like Han Hong in the world? ”
Xiao Qing sighed, "When I was young, I once had a dream where I stood in the wind with a flower branch in my hand, and the petals fell with the wind and passed away with the water, maybe this is the hint that heaven gave me." My fate, like these petals, drifts to pieces. He Kuo's dream was not over, and he thought about it again, but instead gave the little ones another opportunity to discuss me. ”
For Xiao Qing, what is terrible is not her husband's thin affection and the fierceness of the eldest woman, but the fear of people's words is the sharp blade that makes her afraid. She would rather let her life inevitably slip into extinction at its best than resist the heavy shackles of feudal etiquette on her own. The clever Xiaoqing knew this very well, so she used the excuse of dreaming to reject Lady Yang's kindness.
Soon, Lady Yang's husband was transferred away from Hangzhou, and Lady Yang went to work with her husband and had to bid farewell to Xiaoqing. At first, Lady Yang loved Xiaoqing, but treated her as her own daughter, and later the two speculated on each other, and even had a sense of confidant. Madame Yang really cares about Xiaoqing's fate and is Xiaoqing's only friend of Jinlan in her painful life. With the departure of this friend, the only light left in Xiao Qing's life was suddenly extinguished.
(3) Sending love to peonies
The eldest woman could not tolerate Xiao Qing, and eventually moved her to the Feng family's other business in the Lonely Mountain, and the number of times Xiao Qing could see her husband was even rarer.
In this lonely loneliness of the single shadow, Xiao Qing was fascinated by the new drama book "Peony Pavilion", and Du Liniang's bold yearning and pursuit of love greatly shocked Xiao Qing: "I have always thought that I am the only one who feels sad about spring in the world, where did I expect that there is a Du Li Niang, but she came back to life for love, and finally paired with Liu Mengmei as a good couple, and I can only pity myself in vain for the film." ”
"Cold rain window can not listen, pick the lamp to look at the peony pavilion." There are also people in the world who are obsessed with me, and it is XiaoQing who is sad alone. This is Xiao Qing's confession to Du Liniang. As a woman with the most sincere feelings, Xiaoqing has a deep resonance with Li Niang's feelings, but unfortunately, the reality is not a writer with compassion and compassion like Tang Xianzu, and all Xiao Qing can do is to look at "Peony Pavilion" over and over again and place her affection on Du Li Niang.
Even Du Liniang's behavior, Xiao Qing had to follow suit. Li Niang once painted a portrait of herself, and Xiao Qing also invited a painter to paint a portrait of her.
After the painter finished painting, XiaoQing looked at the painting, looked at herself in the mirror, shook her head, and said, "This painting only paints my appearance, but does not paint my appearance." So the painter concentrated on pondering, and with great ingenuity, re-painted a pair, Xiao Qing was still not satisfied after seeing it: "This painting is both form and god, but it does not show the charm of a real person." ”
What XiaoQing wants is that like Du Liniang, even if she dies, the portrait can still survive in the world instead of herself and let the world remember, so she requires that the people in the painting must be as vivid as real people.
This is not a small problem, and the painter has also made a mistake. Xiao Qing ordered the painter to write and observe from the side, she was like a daily life, or cooking tea, or reading, or sorting out clothes, and even went to the painter to color him, smiling and smiling, and the style was perfect.
Seeing the vivid beauty in front of his eyes, the painter's spirit suddenly appeared, and the final work was completed between the whiskers and delivered to Xiaoqing. Xiao Qing examined the painting, but seeing that the person in the painting was extremely delicate, like a real person, he nodded his head in approval: "Yes." ”
(4) Incense and jade death
Perhaps knowing that his fate was short, or it may be intentional, after the painter left, Xiaoqing set up wine and incense in front of his bed and offered his portrait. She took the wine and sprinkled it on the ground, and sacrificed herself: "Xiao Qing, Xiao Qing, will there still be an opportunity for you in this life?" ”
Soon after, Xiaoqing fell ill. She did not enter the grain every day, only drank a small cup of pear juice, and the medicine sent by the eldest woman in a false manner was also thrown to the ground by Xiao Qing, refusing to accept this "food that came to her".
Xiao Qing's single-minded desire for a quick death made her suffer more and more, and she was about to die soon.
On this day, Xiao Qing struggled to get up and looked around, but there was no one who knew cold and heat by her side. At this time, the only thing that made her think was Lady Yang, who was still far away, and Xiao Qing instructed the maid to hold the pen and write down the last letter sent to Lady Yang.
In the letter, Xiao Qing imagined that after he passed away, he revisited The old place of Lady Yang, and he could still remember the scene of his life: "When he put the boat on the bank of the embankment, explored the Plum Mountain, opened the door of my West Pavilion, sat on my green bed, imitated his life in the ringing image, saw the loneliness of the empty, it was Yefiyah! Its people are in! After writing, I threw my pen on the ground and mourned.
Sad husband Xiaoqing, self-sustaining talent is very high, high quality, still can not find their own side of the pure land, pity Xiaoqing, grew up in the environment bound by etiquette, even the best of the same sex, can not complete self-help, only Gu Ying self-pity, send love drama, can find some spiritual comfort.
Cao Gong's Dai Yu also has the shadow of this late Ming Dynasty talented woman, like Dai Yu, Feng Xiaoqing used her short life to complete the insistence of "the essence of purity comes and goes", for hundreds of years, her beauty is stained with sorrow, like a hazy drizzle lingering on the shore of Xizi Lake, but also lingering in people's hearts.
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