Joke
Joke NO.1
Tell you a good way to stop staying up late: let your phone sleep alone in a room, and it will also reach the age of sleeping separately from adults
NO.2
A few days ago, my brother got married, so I asked: My sister-in-law is in such good condition, how can she marry you?
Brother: You don't understand this, the key is to please your father-in-law.
Me: How do you please?
Brother: I told him I was very good at taking care of children.
Me: That would be nice to take care of his grandson, right?
The brother gave me a blank look, and then said helplessly: No, it is to take care of his second son.
NO.3
Sugar asked Salt, "Everyone is working at work, why don't you work?" ”
Salt said, "Because I'm salty." ”
NO.4
Giraffe said: When the spectators don't even have to buy tickets, they walk around outside the stands, and they can look from which angle they want.
NO.5
"Yesterday an aunt rushed into the bank in a panic,
Say to the duty manager: "You are the manager, my card has been swallowed by your deposit and withdrawal machine!" ”
The manager asked, "Don't worry, you tell me about the process of swallowing the card, okay?" ”
The aunt replied: "I saved 6183 pieces, oh, and a 5 cent coin, and the machine did not respond!" ”
In an instant, the manager didn't react anymore...
NO.6
Lei Zhenzi has a pair of wings, which can lead the thunder and lightning of the sky and ride the wind through the sea, which is called the Heavenly Sea Wing by the world.
Liu Beiwen and Wu Shuangquan, the emperor called him Yue Neng, and the world called him Liu Neng.
The Song Dynasty was underarmed and constantly invaded by the north, and Song Renzong thought of Guan Yu, who was fighting against the north and threatening Huaxia, and could not help but sigh: Sheji is a big treasure, and the hero is a small treasure, so the world calls Guan Yu Song Xiaobao.
Zhang Fei was famous for his martial arts, and Nurhaci believed that Liaodong also belonged to Yandi, and he and Zhang Fei were fellow villagers, and he once said: Wen had Confucius, climbing Mount Tai and xiao tianxia; Wu had Zhang Fei, entering Liaodong and xiao Shenyang, so posterity called it Xiao Shenyang.
Zhao Yun befriended the three of them, the youngest, and was called Zhao Si by posterity, and because he was an enemy in battle, he was a brother on the battlefield, also known as his fourth brother.
Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and Zhao Yun once helped Gongsun Zhan in the northeast, so they were called Northeast F4 by the world.
Liu Bei responded to a hundred responses, and the world was full of great masters; he thought of sheji and wanted to continue the Great Han Dynasty; he was also a man who awakened from feudal ethics and regarded his subordinates as brothers and sisters; he was brave and good at war, like a Shuluo; he was very cultivated, and he was courteous and courteous; so posterity also called him, Huyan JueLuoxiu.
NO.7
Lu Xun's surname is Zhou, and he did not get rich to buy more suites in Shanghai, so why is he not called Zhou Runfa?
Lu Xun's surname is Zhou, this text song star dou turned the Galaxy for decades, the white horse galloped, time was without a trace, we can't call him Zhou Xingchi, right?
Lu Xun's surname is Zhou, and he is Chinese, and he wrote essays that are deep and elegant, so why is he not called Zhou Huajian?
Lu Xun's surname is Zhou, and his personality stands tall in the sky and sets off waves in the literary world of that year, so why is he not called Zhou Libo?
Lu Xun's surname is Zhou, and his writing is so smooth, so why isn't he called Zhou Bichang?
Yesterday I went to buy cigarettes, bought a bag of 20, gave the boss 50, found me 40, I pretended not to know, put in the pocket and left, did not go far The boss shouted at me: your cigarette is not taken! I shed tears of emotion and took out ten dollars to give to the boss: you found me ten more dollars. The boss also left tears of emotion: boy, bring the cigarette, I will change it for you. Smoking the new cigarette that the boss gave me, the pure taste could not help but touch me again: Boss, take the 50 just now and I will give you another one! The boss took the 50 and was also touched again: Young man, give me the money that was looking for you just now, and I will change it for you. After taking the boss to find my money again, I was also moved again, and took out a mobile phone from my pocket: Boss, the mobile phone is returned to you. The boss was in tears, trembling and pulling out a wallet: Boy, the wallet is back to you. At this time, I could not hold on any longer, and I knelt on the ground and hugged the boss's thigh and cried: Brother, you go to the next hotel room 304 to take your primary school daughter home! The boss was shocked, sighed, turned back to the small shop and shouted: Red apricot, don't hide, come out and go back with your husband! I looked at the woman who came out of the shop in amazement, shook my head slightly, and said, "Brother, you can use this medicine." Taking the penicillin I handed over, the boss bowed his head in shame after reading the instructions and said: "Forget it, I don't need this medicine, I am a HIV carrier, the little brother can't help it!." My heart instantly cooled to the freezing point, but the boss's sincerity made it warmer than ever, I said: "Brother, I almost did something I regret for the rest of my life!" It is no secret that the ointment is not penicillin, it is a predator! The boss pondered for a moment, the tear marks in the corners of his eyes had not yet dried, he closed his eyes and looked up at the sky and sighed: "Boy, in fact, I am not sick at all, your honesty is really touching, I am really TM damn ah!" I rubbed the sour tip of my nose in delight and said, "Boss, don't do this, I'm damned!" In fact, your girlfriend is not next door, I lied to you! The boss waved his hand and said, "Boy, it's okay, it's okay, and also, if you look closely, this is not your wife at all, and your wife is not called red apricot!" I suddenly realized, a warm current coiled around my heart: "Haha, brother, in fact, there is nothing in my wallet, just picked up on the side of the road." I took out my wallet and dangled it in front of him, and the boss said, "Boy, that phone is just a model, don't believe you see," he pulled out his phone, and the monitor was just a piece of colored paper. We looked at each other, sobbing softly by each other's touch, and I said in a thick nasal voice, "Brother, in fact, the fifty pieces given to you in the back are also fake!" The boss shook his head slightly, and a drop of crystal tears fell to the ground: "Boy, looking for your change is actually ... Oh, take it, and I'll give you another one. My tears were like a broken embankment, and on the blurred retina he bent his body slightly in the cash box and turned it over carefully, and I finally couldn't help it, saying: "Brother, in fact, I can't smoke at all!" I came to use up the fake money! The elder brother patted me on the shoulder and whispered, "Boy, I really don't want to hide it, in fact, this is not my little shop...