Six years ago today, I was fortunate enough to harvest a small cotton jacket, and the change of identity role gave me all kinds of brain supplementary parenting knowledge.
A brand new little life appeared after my life, not only an upgrade of appearances, but also a change of mentality. From the initial messy little white to now slowly groping and summarizing, using fragmented time to collect and learn the cases of excellent families, and even using some of the experience in the early work to take the baby road.
Sometimes see the news reported, children do not eat adults chase feeding, afraid that children are hungry, because they do not meet their own wishes to punch and kick the mother, life similar cases are not uncommon, we can not help but sigh, in the condemnation of children's bad behavior at the same time, as parents should reflect on the road to education bias.
In the "Night Talk of the Hearth", it is said: "Teach the son not to spoil, and the son will not be abandoned." ”
The famous psychologist Li Meijin once said: "Don't be too obedient to children, because most of the contrarian children are spoiled by their parents." ”
Loving children is a good thing, but excessive love is likely to become coddling, deformed love, so that children will have a feeling of "suffocation of the heart". What really ruins a child's life is not a game, not a greedy game, but a result of the excessive and unrestrained coddling of parents to their children.
Doting is not love, but harm! Children who are spoiled and grow up only know how to blindly take, and will never learn to be grateful, which is the greatest sorrow of a family.
Love her and let her "suffer".
The ancients said: "If you eat bitterly, you will be a superior person." "The road to growth must be accompanied by wind and rain, only by personally experiencing and tempering, can we continue to sum up experience, learn lessons from ups and downs, and lead her to grow, rather than growing for her." Only by being bitter can you enjoy the ultimate sweetness.
In my leisure time on weekdays, I hone her will and perseverance through a series of sports, watch sports games with her to feel the tenacity and tenacity of athletes, help her develop a good character of doing things from beginning to end, and when the quality of persistence becomes a habit, it can benefit her for life.
Parents love their children, can not blindly pamper and indulge, willing to let children suffer from labor, for her future long-term consideration, is the expression of deep love.
When I cook, I found that she likes to gather around me to ask questions, from a young age to let her try to help me do housework, small to take out the garbage, sweep the floor, to knead the dough, dumplings, let her get a sense of self-worth from the little labor, let her feel that I am a small member of the family, is a participant rather than a bystander, don't underestimate the child, the child's perspective often makes adults marvel!
The quality of hard work will not be outdated in any era, the so-called "diligence can make up for clumsiness", a thing repeated hundreds or even thousands of times, you can explore the truth and experience, become the leader in a certain field.
Every child is an angel, is the most precious gift given to us by God, they come to this world is a blank piece of paper, what kind of person they want to become, the key is in the process of growing up, what kind of color is integrated, but the initiative of this brush should be given to the child, give her an independent growth space, parents play the role of a guide, guide the child to grow, rather than for her growth.
At the age of six, she is curious about the unknown world, ignorant, loves to explore novel things, likes to fiddle with her toys, and likes to knead dough around me when making dumplings.
After I observed that she had this hobby, I bought some patchwork toys for her to improve her hands-on ability, and at the same time exercised her ability to think independently, and she would encounter various problems in the process of playing, the easiest way was to throw questions to adults and wait for adults to answer.
Often at this time, I will let her first use her brain to think about how to solve it herself, go back and forth several times, so that she can learn to think independently and take the initiative to find the answer to the problem.
In the process of growing up, it is inevitable to make some small mistakes, and there is a saying in the "Second Year of Zuo Chuan Xuangong": "People are not saints, they can be blameless, and they are good." It is normal for a child to make mistakes, and when a child makes a mistake, parents should guide him correctly, criticize him appropriately, and accept certain punishments, which is the best love for him.
Let children learn to self-examine and check, correct bad habits, continue to grow, continue to improve, if you choose to blindly favor and cover up, you will develop a child's unscrupulous, selfish character.
In this life, people will encounter all kinds of setbacks and difficulties, as a parent, can only accompany the child for a while, can not protect the child forever, in the child's childhood to cultivate her ability to face setbacks independently, to establish a correct view of failure for the child, improve the level of anti-quotient, want her to learn true independence, want her to fly higher in the future, you must be willing to cut the line of the kite in your hand.
Life can not be smooth, tell the child that every failure is a step closer to success, encounter difficulties not discouraged, do not shrink back, but should face the difficulties, against the wind, the wind and rain of life is more worth cherishing and reminiscing.
Mencius said, "The heavens will descend upon the Scythians, and they will first suffer their hearts, strain their bones, and starve their bodies..."
Parents with a real pattern are willing to let their children "suffer hardships" and encourage their children to rely on their own hands to win the life they want. Only after continuous tempering, the child's wings can become more and more plump, even if the wind and rain come, you can learn to hold your own umbrella and shoulder the responsibility!
As Tagore said: The suffering you suffer today, the losses you suffer, the responsibilities you bear, the sins you carry, and the pain you endure will eventually become light and illuminate your way forward.
Be a gentle and determined parent with love and boundaries, and in the future journey of life, bless you, baby!