11.14: The Lu people are the Governor's Mansion. Min Ziqian said, "Still consistent, so what?" Why change it? Zi Yue: "The fú man does not speak, and the word must have a middle (zhòng)." ”
Translation: The ruling ministers of the State of Lu should turn over the Xiufu (the treasury of the treasury where the goods and weapons are stored). Min Ziqian said, "Is it not good to be the same as before?" Why do you have to renovate? Confucius said, "Min Ziqian is a person who usually doesn't speak much, but when he opens his mouth, he must talk about the key points." ”
This goes back to the story of the year.
After the powerful chancellor Ji Shi drove Lu Zhaogong away, he was anxious to consolidate his military power and rebuild the Changfu. Min Ziqian knew that after knocking on the side, he said euphemistically: Isn't it good to be the same old look? Why renovate it?
Min Ziqian said this with several advantages:
One is caution.
In the face of a person in power like Ji Shi, he knows that he is a soft-spoken person, so he expresses his opinion in a euphemistic tone and bends;
The second is inclusion.
We all know that Min Ziqian is a filial piety, I believe that people who have seen the story of "whipping reeds" know that he is more honest, for the happiness and harmony of the big family, he can sacrifice personal interests to complete, leaving the thousand-year sigh of "the mother is cold in one son, and the mother goes to the third son".
From the perspective of personality, it can be guessed that Min Ziqian is a more inclusive and mellow person.
So he said something like that, with some reservations. Ji's acceptance is good, everyone is happy; if you don't accept it, there is still room for turning, and you didn't say it very absolutely.
Of course, he was very dissatisfied with the behavior of Ji Shi's subordinates, expelling the monarch, and rebuilding the Changfu, but he was no longer dissatisfied, and he did not do "angry Qing", and without picking up the keyboard, he began to "operate like a tiger" (manual dog head).
Third, it is in line with social values.
What about the "gentleman" at that time?
To be virtuous, to be benevolent, to be courteous, to speak euphemistically, implicitly, implicitly, and inexpressibly expressed, and to express the mysteriousness of the unspeakable...
Therefore, Confucius expressed special appreciation for Min Ziqian's approach of being able to talk to the point but not being aggressive.
Saying that he had something to say, in a word, he also behaved as a humble gentleman, "Worthy of my good disciple!" ”
Linked to our workplace today, when faced with a decision of the person in power or the direct leader, you may not agree with it at all, and some people, or shy of words such as gold or silent, but do things, and complain, can drag on;
And some people, crackling and saying a lot of some are not, but there is no center point, let people in the clouds, do not know what the key point he wants to express is what it is.
These two attitudes and ways of speaking are not very good.
Confucius mentioned many times in the Analects that a person who knows how to study and live should not be "too late" or "too much", the so-called too much is too late, and maintaining moderation is the way.
Therefore, everyone must be a serious person, do things reasonably, love life, and know how to rest, and strive to get close to the central axis of "moderation" to achieve balance.
If you think about it, there is still a long way to go, but hope is not far away, and today we must also refuel the duck!
11.15 Zi Yue: "From the Gate of the Hill, xi is the gate of the hill?" "The doorman disrespects the son of the road. Zi Yue: "Yuya ascended to the hall, and did not enter the room." ”
Translation: Confucius said, "Zhongyu this man, why do you want to play here with me?" Confucius's other students thus began to disrespect Zilu. So Confucius said, "Zilu's Ser has already played very well, but it can't be considered proficient." ”
Zi lu, "the world is really miserable"! (Laughing and crying)
He will always be the object of Confucius's "intimidation", and if there is nothing to do, he will hit Confucius's depressed gun muzzle, and the psychological shadow area of Qiuzi Road!
This time, Confucius scolded him again: Why are you playing the piano here? (Utterly disgusted tone!) Zi Lu was too intimidated to look directly.
Guess the little man in Zilu's heart, he may often send out such a soul torture: "Oh my God! Why am I always hurt? ”
So, why is it that the "injured" are always sub-roads?
First of all, probably because he always "does what he does". Outwardly, it is very big and fierce, and people are not so Sven. In the eyes of a sage like Confucius who paid attention to the six arts and paid attention to appearance, this may be a manifestation of "Lu" and "savage", not "gentleman" enough.
In terms of image, people's feeling is not very good, and they do not know how to converge on the edge, then, in the perception of others, it is difficult to make people feel close.
Secondly, it may be that he did not go through his head before asking the question, and when he patted his head, he asked Confucius: Teacher, teacher, why is this so? Teacher, teacher, why is that?
He rarely thinks for the answer on his own first, like Yan Hui did, and really doesn't understand before asking.
As soon as you get the question, ask the teacher what to do with this, think about finding the answer first with your own brain, and then ask when you really can't find the answer, it is completely two different concepts.
Then if I am a teacher, I am asked a lot, and I want to "scare" him, right? Therefore, even Confucius's other students began to show disrespect for Zilu.
In fact, in our real life, there are many such "reaching out parties".
Many things, the answer is clearly written, carefully read or slightly move the finger, you can find the answer on your own, but TA no, TA asked as soon as he came up, what does this mean? How hard is this to do? Where is the answer?
It makes people want to ask the soul three questions: Have you carefully examined the question? Have you read it carefully? See the answer? (Laughing and crying)
So, at the end of the day, before we do anything, take care of our manners, pay attention to the tone of our speech, and think about it before we speak or ask questions. Think about how to do this, how to practice that, what kind of effect you can achieve, and perhaps, you can do more with less.
The so-called learning without thinking is reckless, perhaps this is the truth.
Of course, Confucius often "intimidated" Zilu, especially seeing that his evaluation of Zilu had caused a "multiplier effect", that is, his unintentional words, so that other students also began to disrespect Zilu, he still felt guilty.
So Confucius said that although the zilu had not yet reached the height of the entrance, it was still possible to ascend to the temple. That is to say, although Zilu did not become a true gentleman of the Imperial Six Arts and politeness as Confucius expected, he still learned and achieved something.
You see, a good child who loves to learn is always worthy of respect.
When it comes to the topic of the "multiplier effect", we all need to realize that as a leader or family authority, your unintentional words, the occasional bad perception of subordinates or children, when you say it, may be infinitely magnified like a snowball.
So, there is a problem, behind closed doors; and, to tell the facts, to express the current attitude on the basis of facts, rather than simply judging and saying, Xiaoming, you can't do it, you are completely wrong to do this, is your brain caught in the door?
The criticism of "publicizing" may play a certain deterrent role in the short term, but in the long run, it not only affects the self-esteem level of others, but also is not conducive to leading a positive team full of positive energy, you think?
Yes, as a young man with ideals and thoughts, he should have a heart, a mindful mind, a poetry book in his belly, and he should be appropriately silent when he should not say it, and when he should express his opinions, he should also say something, self-speculation, and become skilled.
When you have spare energy, "repair" yourself, find a benchmark who wants to become a TA after 5 years, 3 years and 1 year, try to get closer to your benchmark, practice deliberately, create your own external image, improve your inner cultivation, and do not become the person who is "hurt by me".
Then, if you happen to be a leader or a parent of a child, pay more attention to words, you can criticize and educate, but do not make personal attacks or verbal insults.
Believe that reason is not high.
Today is another day of progress, good Kaisen!
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Reading the Analects has a feeling: apply the law of 55387 to be a strong person in interpersonal communication