1, go to the infusion on the weekend, the nurse lady with a very thick glasses, three times did not prick the blood vessel.
She said to me sheepishly, "Sir, I'm sorry, I didn't aim your thick arm, but it was because I was the first time and I was a little nervous." ”
I dried the blood from my thighs and said, "It's really okay." ”
2, really angry! Just now the old lady mistakenly joined a doctor group. Someone asked: A drop of water falls freely from a very high place, will it hit a person and hurt it? Or smash to death? The group was buzzing, all kinds of formulas, all kinds of assumptions, all kinds of resistance, gravity, acceleration calculations, and it was discussed for nearly an hour. At this time, I silently asked: Have you not been drenched in rain? The sudden death-like silence of the group... Then, then the old lady was kicked out of the group.
3, buy a mobile phone money is not enough, borrow money from parents, to do housework every day to offset ... After dinner last night, I brushed the bowl and hurried to mop the floor, tired and sweaty, and my mother looked at me with pain and said, "Doing so much housework every day, it is still very painful to watch." "I was very happy in my heart, thinking that this was ready to let me go free." At this time, my father stared at me and said, "You can't wait for us to go out for a walk before doing housework, look, it hurts your mother's heart!!! ”
4, "My wife asked me to give 5,000 bags, I spent 500 to buy her a high imitation, and earned 4,500 private money!" ”
"My wife also asked me to give 5,000 bags, and I also spent 500 to buy her a high imitation, but I earned more than 4,500."
"How did you do it?"
"I bought myself an accident insurance with the 4500 and told my wife the truth about the bag."
5, before grandpa liked to play chess, but the neighbor uncle, very bitter, I want to avenge him. Privately looking for the neighbor uncle, he said let me, I said no, open the phone "chess master", adjust to the expert difficulty. Uncle next I press one step, robot next step I learn one step. Uncle was stupid and lost 4 innings in a row. Later, he actually came to me to worship the teacher, saying that I was a genius, and I was so good at playing mobile phones, and I didn't think about chess moves...
6, "Boss, I'm sorry, I'm going to jump ship, I didn't say hello to you in advance, I won't come to work next week." "I rely on you stinky boy ungrateful, I know that the business in the shop is busy now, and I am bent on tripping me up, right?" Don't think about your last month's salary! bah! What kind of job can you find in this way? "Boss, I was admitted to our county industrial and commercial bureau..."
7, a man blind date with a girl to eat and order
M: Order a stir-fried beef tongue.
F: No, I'm clean, cow's tongue is something in the cow's mouth, it's too dirty!
M: I can't see that you are living a very meticulous life, so you can order food
F: Well, boss! Come to a dry pot of fat sausages, scrambled eggs, and another cup of cat coffee, thank you!
man:.........
7, Mom: "Son, come here, Mom, I want to give you a gift." ”
Son: "Really?" ”
Mom: "Okay. ”
Son: "What a gift?" ”
Mom: "Mom reminds you, the latest model, ultra-thin, white, can be handwritten." ”
The son looked happy: "Wow, is it?" ”
Mom: "The third set of mock questions." Haha, how's it going, like it? ”
8, there is something to go to the office to find a leader. I happened to meet a big mother who came to apply.
Leader: What have you done before?
Big Mom: I just came out of my hometown! For the first time this year, there was no work experience.
The leader scratched his head: We are only recruiting skilled workers! Have you ever raised pigs in your hometown?
Big Mom: Raised.
Leader: Good! Then tomorrow you come to work!
I've always been curious about Big Mama's post. Until this morning I saw my aunt busy in the cafeteria.
9, in middle school, the wrong question was copied 500 times, go home and copy it, dad said he gave me a number, to 100 times to mark me on it, copy Zheng Huan saw that Dad did not count on the mark on 100, asked: "Dad, why don't you count and mark me?" ”
"Lao Tzu doesn't have the patience to count, will he count?"
Oh, that's a question I haven't really thought about.
10, after playing in the new year to now, yesterday finally found a job suitable for themselves...
Today I dressed up beautifully and stood at the door of the bathing center in a cheongsam to greet me...
The manager came over and repeatedly explained to me: "If a customer comes, you just need to nod your head and show kindness, don't talk, although you are in good shape, you are also a woman, but the voice is still not ideal..."
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Diary
Author: Star University
Link: https://www.jianshu.com/p/2debbb054eff
Source: Jian Shu
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