A friend once said to me, "I never contact anyone unless they come to me." I was taken aback when I heard it, isn't that what I'm talking about?
Every time I take the initiative to find her, of course, you look for her she will also quickly reply to your message.
I immediately expressed my opinion: "It is certainly not okay to do this for a long time, after all, any relationship that wants to be maintained for a long time is not unilaterally active."
You think, you let others take the initiative to contact you, if the other party also thinks so, in the long run is not lost, no matter how good the relationship contact is less, it will be swallowed up by time.
Don't really say, it was really a slur at the beginning.
I have been quite estranged from her over the past few years. From the beginning of nothing to talk about, to the current silence. After all, if you take the initiative for a long time, everyone will be tired.
In fact, I also regret this friendship, after all, the older people grow up, the fewer people accompany you, and the fewer people who understand you. But there is no way, people are not willing, you can not always hot face cold ass ah.
I always believe that any emotion, the best state, is a two-way approach.
I have a friend who has known me since I was a student for ten years now. That day he also laughed to himself and said, "I can't imagine that if one day you ignore me, will I collapse?" ”。
I said, then it depends on your performance. Maybe you ignored me after you reached the peak of your life, I have been like this for decades, I am serious about any emotion, everyone is sincere with each other, these are non-existent.
Do you think that this relationship is a daily relationship together? That would be wrong.
Because from the realization that we get along every day for a month or two, we met when we were working as a summer vacation worker. Later, I learned that we were still alumni, but on different campuses.
Then out to work, he is in his hometown, and I am far away in Jiangsu, which has always been the distance between two provinces.
But every time there is something, I call at the first time to inform, maybe his friends around him may not have me to know him. It's also based on trust, and he's willing to take the initiative to tell me about his current situation, making it easy and easy to get along with.
Of course, I am the same. When his phone comes, I will answer it as soon as possible, sometimes for an hour or two, and I always feel that I don't have enough time every time.
And as long as I have something to do in my hometown, I can "trouble" him without ambiguity, and I think this is also a disguised contact method.
As it turns out, this friend is also very reliable, doing things with dedication and thoughtfulness, which makes me trust him more and more.
As people grow up, the circle and environment will change somewhat. Especially after each has another half, the way to maintain friendship is particularly important.
How many people quarrel because of their other half's friends, resulting in families, fewer friends, and smaller circles.
At this point, I think he handled it very well. He immediately introduced me to his partner.
At first, we didn't meet, but when I went back to their wedding this year, the groom went to pick up the bride, and was in the middle of the battle bridesmaid group, so busy that he didn't have time to introduce us to each other in person, but the bride suddenly stopped me, and I was surprised. I said how do you know it's me?
He said I often heard him mention you, and intuitively felt that you were the friend he said, and the conversation was very cordial. All in all, we got along very well.
You see, a good state of friendship is an increasingly mature mode of getting along, and there will be no worries about drifting apart.
Distance is not a problem, the most important thing is that both parties are willing to take the initiative to contact for the sake of this friendship, and take the initiative to overcome the problems arising in the process of getting along.
The key is whether both sides are willing to spend time and energy to maintain together.
A few years ago, when I went back to my hometown to go to school, I met a familiar person at the station, and I was struggling with whether to come forward to say hello, but the person stepped forward one step ahead of me and stopped me: "Are you who is who?" ”。
I quickly replied, "Yes, yes, I am her sister." I wasn't sure, but there was no doubt that she was the person I remembered.
Speaking of her, I am still a little jealous, because she is a good friend of my sister,000, and how good are the two of them when they go to school? I would like to wear a pair of pants, go to the toilet arm in arm, eat, shop, etc., and the kind that two people can use together for living expenses.
Even on Fridays, I'd rather walk for an hour after school and come to live with my sister at our house.
But it was these two people, because my sister transferred to other provinces to study, and there was no contact for five or six years.
She and I greeted each other. After a while, I took out my phone and told my sister the news. I thought my sister would be more excited than I was.
As a result, I was like being poured a basin of cold water, and what I got was a non-salty reply: "Oh yes, we haven't been in touch for a long time."
I asked, "Why?" You two were so good, how could you? ”。
In the end, it became my embarrassment, and under my unremitting encouragement, my sister added this friend's WeChat.
Out of curiosity, after a while I asked, how did you talk, and she said that there was actually nothing to talk about.
I'm married, she's still in school, the two have a lot less common topics, and they're not in the same place, and I'm afraid that my contact will disturb her, and it's not fun to talk about it, and it's not fun to go back after all.
Hearing such a thing, I really can't say the taste. Yes, there are such and such reasons and difficulties in front of this relationship, as if they can only drift with the wind, and there is no other way.
Carefully speaking insincere words, I took the initiative to see if others would be annoyed with me, and if I contacted more, would he think that I was his friend, as if I was always trying to get up.
Maybe you think so, the other party also thinks so, in the end the feelings are getting weaker and weaker, and finally really not in touch is the best ending for each other.
In fact, it would not be better to open the way to change it. The feelings that took five or even ten years to get along, and finally drifted apart because of no contact, I believe that each other still has some regrets.
True cherishing will not care so much about other people's opinions, take the initiative to break the deadlock, say the problem, I cherish this fate, I don't know if you feel the same way, everyone is honest with each other.
Of course, there is really no going back, at least you have worked hard, and there will be less regrets.
You don't move, he doesn't move, and finally you really break off the contact.
The last time I talked to an aunt, she said that I would rest tomorrow, but I was busier than work.
I have a question? She said that because I would attend two parties a day tomorrow, and she also smiled and introduced me to which big meals I would eat, the workers who would continue to move bricks tomorrow could not help but cast envious eyes.
Helplessly said: "Auntie, are you at Versailles", obviously enjoying it, yearning for it, and saying it so hard?. She smiled uncontrollably at me.
I said how come you have so many parties, she said that they are actually classmates, as well as friends in various circles.
Do you have so many friends? She said yes, some friends have been playing, some are 10 years ago to contact, after contact, everyone will regularly group reunions, mainly to be happy.
Some friends were lost for many years at the beginning, and then looked for traces one by one, gradually found, a contact, everyone cherished, you come and go to organize every party.
I often reminisced about the old days during the party, often joked, and the heavens seemed to care for me, and with the company of these friends, I never felt lonely.
Then, she also shared a secret to getting along with friends: treat each other sincerely and don't think so much.
So many years of friendship, if you cherish, you can take the initiative first, if the other party is also cherished, then he will also respond to you. Therefore, don't worry about who takes the initiative first, in the end, it still needs to be maintained by everyone.
Give away three tips for getting along:
1. Grow with friends. What new skills you've learned that you can share with, keep your thinking aligned, and communicate without hindrance.
2. Regular contact. A week or a month, phone or WeChat, contact each other once. In short, no matter how busy you are, you must have an understanding of the latest situation of the other party.
3. Treat each other sincerely. It is said that the tongue and teeth are still fighting, let alone two big living people. There are contradictions and conflicts to be resolved in a timely manner, and the problem is not given the opportunity to exploit loopholes.
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