It's true that there are a lot of fish in the sea, but that's not always a good thing, especially when it comes to how to stand out from other fish.
The good news is that if you put in a little effort, it's easy. How is it? Be interested, and more importantly, be interesting!
So many women think they should turn themselves in on the first date, be amiable, be amiable, nod often, don't reveal too much... It's vanilla.
No. No. No. This is exactly what should not be done unless you can simply blend in and become one of the many fish.
I'll let you know what you should do. But first, let's start with "don't.".
Don't be a girl who nods and smiles, give a one-word answer and avoid going into the details.
Don't let him be the one with all the charm and personality. This is the potential germ of a relationship — a partnership.
Regardless of your age, social status, education, life experience (I'm not saying they're low), you're also interesting, you have opinions, you have insights and opinions. Share it!
You're not trying to mingle with each other. This is not a game.
It is a dialogue in which giving and receiving, reciprocity and equality are mutual.
"Just like any conversation, Pay attention to your audience. ”
Now it's DO.
Interested in what he had to say. Be interesting so he'll be interested in what you're going to say.
If he really doesn't care about your point of view, if he brags about your contributions in the conversation, if he leaves when it's your turn to speak, he's not for you.
He was interested
In you, what you say, what you do, who you are as a person.
Why is this important? Because he makes you feel important, it helps boost your self-esteem and makes you want to continue doing interesting things and being a fun person.
It also makes you feel like you're not in a one-sided relationship with an arrogant person who likes to be funny but isn't so interested in you.
He was funny. He does mind expanding things. He went to an eye-opening place. His profession you find intellectually stimulating, you actually want to talk and ask.
He loves to challenge and inspire your activities (which you can participate in). He has a personal passion that you will also find inspiring and willing to explore.
Before the appointment
Think about interesting stories, lessons, experiences, lessons, locations, food, and points of knowledge that make you different or interesting.
What do they say? How can they help shape you? How do they express your point of view?
Write them down so you remember them (obviously don't read them aloud).
Still not sure? Here are some beginners...
Where have you traveled? What do you see? What did you learn? What did you get out of these experiences?
Digging deeper, "I went to Mexico and had a great time!" We lay on the beach all day and went to such a fun party in the evening! ”
Come on...... That's not that interesting. You have more depth. Dig it out.
Is there a sport that you're passionate about, engaged in, and followed? Have you been a competitive skater since you were six? Great!
What did you learn from that experience? Does waking up at 5 a.m. every morning and heading to the ice rink teach you how to start yourself, compete with yourself, and learn elegance and composure?
Because you spent your childhood at the ice rink, did you also watch the local hockey team train during figure skating? Do you like hockey because of the nostalgic feeling it gives you?
Are you a movie fan with a passion for cult movies? Have you seen "Rocky Horror Show" 35 times and memorized all the lines?
What is a show that outsiders don't know? Are you passionate about drive-thru cinemas, not only for the movie experience, but also for nostalgia?
Are you a foodie"? Do you know about wine and cocktails? Have you ever met a chef, hung out with cheesemongers, bonded with pastry chefs, spent weekends with winemakers, visited their wineries and watched the process from grapes to barrels to glass?
Have you traveled to eat, discover mouth-watering dives, and dine with celebrity chefs in their private home garden? Have you ever hunted white truffles in Alba, Italy, and picked blackberries in Arkansas?
What about cocktails? Do you like the herbal cocktail trend of adding delicious herbs like thyme, oregano and mexican pepper to your mixture? Why do you think this trend is happening?
Do you have your own cocktail window sill garden? How did you become interested in and learn about food, wine and spirits?
None of the above may be relevant to you. Never mind. The point is to make you think about what makes you interesting, different and stand out.
Maybe you have some stories in your back pocket that people tend to like, get inspired from, or want to learn more about. Just like any conversation, pay attention to your audience, understand what he might find interesting and make those points.
Now may not be talking about your runaway Troll Doll collection or your watching "Snapped... Women Who Kill" is a good time for each episode of the near-obsession. You want to be funny, not crazy.
How will you be fun and entertained on your next date?