01
Carnegie once said: "Professional technology is hard skill, and good communication skills that are good at handling interpersonal relationships are soft skills." ”
People are mixed in society, if you want to have good connections, you have to do both soft and hard. Your own value can attract the attention of others; high emotional intelligence can make you talk and laugh with people. If you have both, you have to do it at any time, it is easy to meet noble people to help.
However, there are always some people who are not good at communication, who tie their tongues as soon as they open their mouths, or simply give up socializing, have no friends, and break off relations with relatives, and colleagues around them are too lazy to pay attention.
Many people believe that the purpose of interpersonal communication is not simply to eat a meal and chat, but to be profitable. Since this is the case, then we must take the initiative to adapt to society, learn to "seek benefits and avoid harms", and at the same time be used by others, we must also use others to form a mutually beneficial dating model.
During the Warring States period, Oniguzi was a very wise teacher, he said three sentences, which are very helpful for us to treat people and things, if we can learn and understand thoroughly, we can leave a lot of "love cards".
02
First, "talk to the wise, rely on Bo", read a lot, and use literary style to convince people.
There is a view: "Reading is like talking to many able people." ”
If you look at a line, someone above you tells you a word; if you think about it for a while, you respond to someone in the book.
When you read a lot of books, you will find that when you meet people with great wisdom, you can talk about it, and you can always find common topics in a certain book. Or rather, the topic thrown out by the other party, you can always pick up, without any effort.
In his book, Carnegie tells of a trainee named Charles Walt, who works at a bank, and he wants to visit a manager and convince him to put his savings in the bank where he works.
Charles Walter and the manager never knew each other, and on their first visit, the manager refused him without hesitation.
But Charles Walt was keenly aware that there were some stamps on the manager's desk, as well as pictures of the children. It was obvious that the manager's children were collecting stamps.
Leaving the manager's office, Charles Walter deliberately read a lot of books about stamp collecting, and then found some valuable stamps, envelopes, and postmarks from the usual letters of the bank.
Knocking on the manager's door again, "stamps" became their topic, and the manager very happily agreed to save the money.
In society, we often want to meet friends with literature. Your literary style, even if it is a talking point, can also add points to your eloquence. If you are a person who does not learn and has no skills, then as soon as you open your mouth, you will be inferior, and you will be very embarrassed in front of the wise.
03
Second, "talk to the rich, rely on the high", in the business of business, with interests to attract people.
It is human nature to be poor and love the rich. When you have money, there are naturally more relatives and friends; when you are poor, others will dislike you.
In fact, if the poor get in the car of the rich, they can make a lot of money very smoothly and turn into the circle of the rich.
Why not humiliatingly chat with the rich and let them attract you?
A friend of mine is doing car sales. Of course, he wasn't rich, he was just a migrant worker, and when he first arrived at the store, he couldn't even afford a used car.
One day, a customer walked into the store with a satchel on his back. The moment the customer opened the bag and took out the phone, several new phones were revealed.
Friends followed the customer, did not talk about the car, but generously chatted about the mobile phone. Friends once spent a period of time in the mobile phone store, and analyzed the sour, sweet, bitter and spicy in it very well.
Unconsciously, two hours passed, the customer had a good impression of the friend, and then talked about the car, all kinds of offers were thrown out, and the customer gladly accepted.
Rich people don't want to pull the poor, but they are very interested in "making money, spending money", as long as you know something about the industry he likes, then you can have a good chat and talk about your own things properly. If you're lucky, the rich will ask you to be your helper.
If you want to benefit from a rich man, you are not desperately pretending to be pitiful, not always saying flattering words, but using profits to attract him and try to show your business wisdom.
04
Third, "talk to the poor, rely on profit", be humble, and impress people with sincerity.
Most people, seeing the poor, have a "lazy" attitude, thinking that the other party will pull you into the water.
In fact, people who are really sociable know how to "burn incense in the cold temple". Today's poor people, perhaps the rich people in japan, should not underestimate anyone.
The poor man is very humble, and when you talk to him, lower your posture and be as humble as he is.
I have seen such a message: an old lady selling vegetables at the intersection, seeing the market manager coming, is very anxious. She was very worried that if the vegetables could not be sold, life would be difficult during this period of time.
The old lady sat on the ground and did not leave. When the manager saw the situation, he did not forcibly pull her, but squatted down and chatted with the old lady, just like pulling a family.
The posture of "sitting on an equal footing" made the old lady very moved, and consciously picked the dishes to the designated place.
Everyone has dignity, and we cannot be condescending.
Mingling with poor people is not to ask you to spend a lot of money, but to change your attitude and care more. Your humility will be easily acceptable and will get more likes.
05
As the saying goes: "Things are clustered in groups, and people are grouped." ”
In different groups of people, you do different people. When you're like them, you'll find that communication is easy and that all topics resonate.
Most of the things that everyone pays attention to are in themselves, but you can pay attention to the things that others pay attention to, which can naturally open up the situation for life, invisibly, with the help of the power of feelings.
The reason why people are strangers to each other is because they have different paths from each other, and no one will accommodate anyone.
If you want others to like you, you must first like others. If you have a fleshy face, why should you ask someone to smile at you?
Mingling with people, improving ability is the foundation, finding common ground is the key, adjusting posture is distance.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.