Dr. Laura, a well-known expert in marriage and family psychology in the United States, said that if children feel a little guilty about not repaying their parents, it means that their parents' family education has failed, indicating that their selfish intentions are still at work. At the same time, Laura refers to parents who demand something in return from their children as "vampires." However, in many families, raising children is seen as a form of "self-sacrifice," and parents often secretly present themselves as benefactors and mercilessly squeeze every ounce of value from their children.
In the urban drama "My True Friend", the parents of Zeng Huimin, the manager of the garden store, are a pair of "vampire" parents. Life is tight, the son eats well and dresses well, the daughter can only earn living expenses and tuition fees by herself; if the family wants to build a house, let the daughter who has just graduated take out 200,000 yuan; even if the son has no money to buy a house, he must quarrel and make trouble, kidnap in the name of family affection, and put on the hat of letting the family "cut off the children and grandchildren".
In the play, the father's sentence "Isn't this what you as a daughter should do?" It stung the heart of her daughter Zeng Huimin, and it was even more rooted in the vast number of children who were oppressed by their parents. Such vampire parents are deeply poisoned by the idea of son preference, believing that the daughter is the water that is spilled out, not the family at all, so it can be squeezed hard when it is squeezed, and only the son is the one who can really bear the family and pass on the generations. As everyone knows, such a family can only raise a "brother-in-law" type daughter and a son who "never grows up", and in the end, it will harm the daughter and the son.
Even more terrifying than Zeng Huimin's parents are Fan Shengmei's parents. Zeng Huimin's parents are stupid and evil, without a little kindness and conscience, so Zeng Huimin can make up her mind not to give money. But Fan Shengmei's parents are stupid and bad, and they still carry a little conscience and humanity.
They also prefer sons to daughters, and have been urging Xiaomei to give them money, and then give money to their sons, in fact, the two old people themselves live in extreme poverty. Their old thinking determines the status of the family: the grandson is respected, the son and daughter-in-law are the eldest, then the daughter, and finally themselves. It is to read that they are good at this point, Xiaomei has been subsidizing the family on time, hoping that the two old people can have a more generous old age.
This kind of vampire parents always feel that "gritting their teeth and saving a province, money can always be saved", their reasons and words are not so sharp, more often it is to make children outside the feeling of guilt, resulting in the illusion that not giving money is not understanding and inconsiderate. Such seemingly weak "vampire" parents are actually more deadly, like boiling frogs in warm water, making their children struggle in reason and emotion until they fall on the soft heart.
Recently, the foreign film "Why Home" has broken through many films and received a high score of 9.0 from Douban. The protagonist of the story, Zane, is a twelve-year-old boy who goes to court to sue his parents for giving him life but is unable to raise him. Violence, verbal abuse, and beatings are the daily routines of life, and the most common feeling in twelve years is the feeling of chains, water pipes, and belts hitting the body.
Zane's parents, who can't even remember their own children's birth dates, treat boys as cheap labor and girls as commodities, and live every day numbly and naturally. In the face of Zane's accusations in court, the father could only plead incompetently, "I was born this way, I grew up like this, I did something wrong." ”
Douban user @ Wang Dagen hit the nail on the head, directly pointed out, "Birth, continue to be born, the poorer the more you want to be born, thrown on the ground for two years, can walk and talk can also work." The big ones take the small ones, the small ones are smaller, and they can be sent out to work in a few years. Boys pass on from generation to generation, girls can earn dowry money, give birth to so many, there is always one who comes out, eat him, eat her! bear! Why not be born? Such parents have no humanity at all, because the nature of "blood sucking" has been firmly rooted in their hearts.
In the name of filial piety and relying on the identity of parents, how many families have become fragmented because of such "vampire" parents. They see their children as sponges, and they think that as long as they squeeze hard, they can always squeeze out something; they regard their children as vassals, and they think that only blind obedience is filial piety and good children. They not only want to seize the value of their children's labor, but also want to restrict and devour their freedom and thoughts until they become obedient puppets and truly rest.
In the face of such vampire parents, only by strengthening themselves into an independent and complete individual can they resist the "blood-sucking" ideology and escape from the deformed original family.