1. The former Soviet poet Mayakovsky (1893-1930), who joined the Bolsheviks at the age of 15, had a deep affection for the Party, and often affectionately wrote the "October Revolution" as "my revolution". Someone harassed him and said, "You, who often write about me, me, and me in poetry, can you still be called a poet of proletarian collectivism?" The poet humorously retorted: "When you confess your love to the girl, do you say that we, we, we love you?" "At one reading, after Reciting his new work, Maya Zhongwski received a note that said: "Mayakovsky, you say you are a collectivist, but your poems are always 'I', 'I'... Why? Mayakovsky read out the note and replied: "Nicholas II is not, he always speaks 'we', 'we'... Do you think he's a collectivist? ”
2. High jump: can touch the pole but can make the pole steady. Long jump: Can accurately locate the starting point on the starting board a little too much without being discovered by the referee. Long-distance running: Running one lap less but still being able to pretend to be extremely tired and thus happen to be able to cross the referee's eyes. Sprint: Throw the opposing runner who rushed to grab himself and throw it out of the n meter away with a strong momentum. Javelin: The javelin is close to 0° to the ground before it lands. Triple jump: The first two jumps have reached the bunker, causing the third jump to fail to take off strongly.
3. Hello? Hello, is it the telephone office? That's right, my phone line is too long, can you pull over a little?
4. Instructor: Why do you jump over the wall and take classes quickly and frequently? Dumb: No way, talented. Instructor: But you don't have to climb the wall anymore. DUMB: Really? Has the fence been torn down? Instructor: No, you've been dropped out of school and you can walk through the door!
5. If it is a late self-study or a night shift, two people go to the middle of the high floor at night, the later they leave, the better, and wait for the elevator, wait until the elevator opens. When there were only one or two people inside, I told your friend, "Wow, the elevator is so crowded, let's walk." It is estimated that the people inside the elevator may be frightened and their faces will turn blue, and if a friend adds another sentence of "yes, too crowded" The effect will be doubled.
6. The movie mogul is determined to make one of the biggest blockbusters of all time. "I'm going to use a lineup I've never seen before to play that war scene." He threatened, "Twenty-five thousand extras on each side." "Great! The director said incredulously, "But how can we afford to pay them so much?" "The good thing about the plan," replied the tycoon, "is that we're going to use real guns." ”
7. The warden said to a death row inmate who was about to be executed: "Before you were hanged, you expressed your desire to eat fresh apples, but within this month, the apples were not ripe. The death row inmate said happily, "It doesn't matter, I can wait a month." I have the patience to wait for a long time! ”
8. A reporter asked the people of the three countries: What is your personal opinion on the lack of food in the world? The American said: I don't understand what is lack! The Ethiopians say: I don't understand what food is! Singaporeans say: I don't know what personal opinion is!
9. My yard planted some grapes, dad saw that there was a bunch of red, so he picked a taste, eh, that sour expression, and then told me quietly, and then picked one for my mother to eat, said particularly sweet, my mother ate after calmly said a very good ah, and then my dad thought is not the one he just picked has a problem, he tasted another one, eh, more vicious than the expression just now! My mom is so clever! Hahahahaha
10. Last night the boss invited all the employees of the company to dinner, after three rounds of wine, the boss began to mess with us, and suddenly one got up and said: "Take you to find a lady, one person, package you cool." (Chinese good boss, like one), the climax is that the boss lady sits next to a face of green, blue and purple, two days, the boss has not come to the company.