Yesterday I went to buy bread, I was intently choosing, a three- or four-year-old boy, shaking and bumping into me, I looked down, he was no big deal, did not expect, the little boy twisted his eyebrows, angry whimpering:
"You hit me, badass".
That little look, as if he was going to eat people.
I was stunned for 2 seconds, this little cub, obviously he hit me, even "touched porcelain", I should educate him for his mother.
However, as a mother, I still hesitated, thinking of the case I had just seen about child psychology, and immediately drew a scoop according to the gourd, calmed my emotions, and squeezed out a smile:
"Baby, I'm sorry, Auntie didn't mean it",
Unexpectedly, the little boy's face that was going to grin and cry suddenly burst into laughter:
"Auntie, it's okay".
Then, jumping over to his mother, he proudly pointed at me:
"Mom, that aunt apologized to me, she's a good person."
The whole time, I cried and laughed.
But at the same time, I'm so thankful for the way I handle it, because I know that children at this stage:
(1) Self-centered, not enough empathy, his attention is focused on his hurting head, must find a foreign object to be responsible for this;
(2) The criterion for judging is only good and bad, and sometimes saying harsh words is only to vent emotions, and there is no malice;
(3) Observe and imitate the words and deeds of adults, if I do not handle it well, it will confuse him with the practice of "accidentally bumping into others and apologizing" taught by the kindergarten teacher.
I resisted the urge to label him "bear child", and if at that time, when I heard the word "bad guy" and immediately became angry and carried him to his mother to theorize, would things be like the boiling slide incident the other day.
Perhaps, we also made a headline on Weibo, and the headline was, "Bear children touch porcelain, and two bao mothers fight."
Don't label him a "bear child" easily
Before the mother, if you meet a child who is rampaging on the road, you will roll your eyes and scold in your heart: This kind of bear child, don't take it out and shame people.
After I became a mother, especially after studying a lot of children's psychology books, I realized that to a certain extent, "bear" is a necessary stage of children's development.
The first time to take the son less than 1 year old to take the high-speed rail, due to lack of experience, 10 minutes before entering the station, I put on a down jacket for my son, as a result, the hot son began to cry, and we squeezed in the aisle line can not move, the front and back of the young people have begun to look at us frequently, that look is very familiar, and I once threw at the "bear child" Eyes are no different, and finally the little girl in front of me can't help it, "Can you stop crying?" The eardrums of the tremor hurt".
I was just about to fight back, fortunately, at this time, another mother reminded me, "You quickly unzip the baby down jacket, and take the hat and scarf down", and I finally settled down in a panic and successfully solved the "bear child" crisis.
Looking back, without the mother's reminder, I might have really been mad at the young man who often rolled his eyes at my son. At that time, I thought my son was innocent because he was not yet 1 year old, so why can't you tolerate him crying for a while? At the same time, the situation is sudden and out of control, and I am helpless and irritable, I think I have tried my best to coax him, and his uncontrolled I am really a little powerless, at this time, the easiest thing for me to do is to project this anger on the little girl who accuses me.
Usually, I rarely clash with people, and I am not the "bear child" parent of other people, but at that moment, I almost became a "bear parent".
I know that there is a very hot topic, "how to deal with a bear child", I read it carefully, basically the students who have not yet married and had children are indignant about this, and as a mother, for the first time, I found that I became tolerant, and many of the bear children they describe, in my opinion, are really some necessary stages in the growth and development of a child, especially a child under 5 years old.
Once I saw a mother in the circle of friends leading two sons to see a painting exhibition, she posted a photo, two dolls crouched on the ground creeping forward, the text is, "too humiliating, can only go back to the house", I can understand her mood too well, with 2-year-old and 3-year-old Tao boy out, it is not easy.
And if there are people who do good things at this time and spread this scene to the Internet, it may be another "bear child" criticism conference.
In fact, there are really not so many "bear children", and sometimes, it may just be that the time we leave for the helpless parents to deal with is too short.
Who didn't have a bear when they were kids?
My mom often mentions my "bear child" years.
For example, squeezing toothpaste in a sandwich cookie to trick children into eating;
For example, bring children to play at home, and then sell them ice cream to eat.
But now, I will no longer be so teasing people, and I will not be mercenary to my friends.
For example, when my brother was a child, he always hid my homework book and watched me look for it in a hurry.
He also secretly put the caterpillar on my clothes to scare me into crying.
But he is now my dearest.
Man, in fact, is a particularly forgetful animal, he will forget all the confusion and incomprehension encountered in the process of growing up, and then stand at the moral highest point and blame the next generation that is moving forward.
For example, the post-80s generation was criticized as the "Beat" generation, and the post-90s were called "brain-dead".
Who is much smarter than whom?
You roll your eyes at the little children bouncing on the road, and at this time, you may be stealing strawberries from the neighbor's vegetable garden with your bare ass;
You sneered at the star-chasing children, and wasn't it a young you who was running across the road with a plane head, flared pants, and a toothpick?
How can a child who has never been a "bear" grow up?
Really meet the bear child, go for the plan
Of course, a veritable "bear child" exists.
For example, in public places, repeatedly pushing and hitting people, and parents not only do not stop but also cheer on the side;
For example, in school, bullying classmates, collecting protection fees, and fighting without saying a word;
Another example is Li Tianyi.
And this kind of "bear" child must be educated by the parents of the "bear".
Meet the "bear child" in public, go to the top, compete with the rogue, you will never win, unless you pull yourself to the level of the rogue;
The "bear children" in the school, prevention is better, if it is really bullied, parents really should pay attention to and deal with it seriously;
And when "bear children" enter the society, sooner or later there will be laws that will teach them a harsh lesson.
But now, as if criticizing the "bear child" has become a kind of "political correctness", you are not educating a "bear child" today, and you are not a qualified "defender".
So, we do need to treat "real" bears differently from "fake" bears.
For those "fake" bears who are messy, their parents are also scratching their ears and scratching their cheeks to find ways to appease this "Chaos Demon King", if you think about your crotch pants era at this time, maybe, touching the scene, you will laugh out loud.
After all, who hasn't had a "bear" when they were kids?
From Lemon Mom Puzzle Academy, copyright belongs to the author, invaded and deleted.