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Around me, I often see women like this:
In order to satisfy others, and wronged themselves, obviously do not want to do things, but in order to maintain a certain relationship, to keep a certain label, to bear their own thoughts.
Sometimes, when I am wronged, I would rather be patient than speak out.
What is heart-wrenching is that such a woman, in the end, still can't get what she wants, but instead, in the process of giving in again and again, she consumes her self-confidence.
In the movie "Breakfast Club", there is a line like this: "Spend less time to please others, spend more time running yourself." ”
Life is short, a woman's life is even more difficult, if all the energy is used to please and please others, then what is the meaning of this life?
For the rest of your life, please be a "cold" woman, do not have to empty all enthusiasm, do not have to guard the goodness that hurts yourself, and can not sacrifice yourself to complete others.
Ah Fang turned out to be an introverted girl.
Between acquaintances, people say five sentences, she can say a good word, not to mention when she meets a raw person, it is even more impossible to open her mouth.
This personality, so that she did not find a partner until the age of 28, fortunately, there are many relatives in the family, taking turns to introduce her to the object, before the age of 30, finally married herself.
However, the good times were not long, and after less than 5 years of marriage, the two people divorced.
The other party said that Ah Fang's personality is too cold, usually there is no smiley face, chat with her, but also chat not to go together, find a wife to go back, like looking for a popsicle.
This incident was a big blow to Ah Fang.
People who know Ah Fang know that she is an honest and responsible woman, but she is short-tongued, does not communicate with people much, and in the eyes of outsiders, it is relatively cold, not at all like her ex-husband said, like a "popsicle".
When a person does not understand you, he will not be able to see your heart.
After the divorce, Ah Fang had more than two years to become more "cold", and she hardly saw anyone looking up.
As if suddenly, and without knowing why, Ah Fang became very enthusiastic, took the initiative to ask someone to introduce her to the object, and dressed herself up very brightly every day.
Perhaps she is accustomed to her simple appearance, and she who is deliberately dressed seems to lack authentic beauty.
Ah Fang's facial features are not bad, after dressing, coupled with the enthusiasm and initiative she showed, she soon got a boyfriend.
Often watch her take the initiative to ask people to eat, send things to each other, somewhat upside down feeling, everyone said in private, Ah Fang continues like this, sooner or later will suffer losses.
Sure enough, in less than a year, Ah Fang's money was almost spent on the man, but the man never mentioned the marriage, Ah Fang was pregnant, and the other party let Ah Fang beat it.
Everyone sympathized with Ah Fang, but they didn't know how to persuade her.
You know, the most valuable thing about a woman is the feminine beauty of being reserved and restrained.
Emotionally, too enthusiastic and proactive, the other party feels that it is too easy to come and will not be cherished.
The feelings between the opposite sex are actually very simple.
You are overly invested, breaking the principle of emotional balance, and the more enthusiastic the party, it is really easy to get hurt.
Especially women.
Everyone has their own personality, and not meeting the right person, not someone who really loves you, will naturally amplify your shortcomings.
The first person who truly loves you is your shortcomings.
There is no need to deliberately forcibly change your personality in order to please others.
Among the many qualities of a person, kindness should be the most beautiful.
A kind person is softer in her heart, and the world in her eyes, like the spring sunshine, makes people feel comfortable inside.
Kind people, more aware of gratitude, everything in her eyes, is a gift from God, she loves life even more.
However, when the water is full, it overflows.
Especially in heterosexual relationships, too much kindness, in fact, is a kind of concealment and withdrawal from makeup, and it is also a manifestation of lack of confidence.
such as:
We often see that some women, obviously suffering from different degrees of violent treatment, husbands a few words of forgiveness, a few kneeling and self-harming actions, women will be soft and forgive.
Some women, from the day of marriage, have been bullied by their in-laws, taking advantage of her openly and secretly, which is unbearable, but as soon as she hears the other party complaining and saying how difficult it is, her heart softens and becomes a lamb to be "slaughtered" by others.
It is often said that if you are deceived, you will help others count money.
That's the woman who said that.
Dissecting the deeper reasons, such a woman, not kind, but no principles, can not keep their own bottom line, with their own lives, to exchange for the approval of others.
You know, people's lives, only in their own hands, will create a better life.
If a person uses life as a tool in exchange for the approval of others, in the end, it will only be trampled.
At the ideological level, women are more likely to be dominated by feelings and emotions, so smart women should exercise their calm attitude.
Don't be emotional in everything, some people can help, some people can't help, some people can only help once, and helping more is equivalent to nourishing his greed.
In fact, this is true for people and for all.
Kindness has a degree, a ruler, and has its own principles, which will neither indulge himself nor let him be born greedy.
Looking around, most women have a strong spirit of "sacrifice", and whenever the family encounters any choice, women are always the one who "sacrifices" themselves.
Two days ago, I received an emotional counseling session.
The woman is 45 years old, married to her husband for more than 20 years, and her children have gone to college, but she inadvertently found that her husband has raised a woman outside, almost 10 years.
Probably the woman outside, seeing that she was older, wanted to have a stable home, and asked her husband for an explanation.
The husband had no choice but to show the matter.
Give women two choices, either divorce or take a sum of money from the family money to send the women outside.
The woman was so angry that she snorted.
Over the years of marrying a man, he did make some money outside, but not so much money that he could raise a woman outside and have a home outside.
This family can be maintained, let outsiders look glamorous, men make money on the one hand, women will have children is also a very important reason.
Women are reluctant to buy themselves a good dress, even skin care products are reluctant to buy good, her good skin, all stem from her own diet to make up.
The expenses of the family are all carefully calculated and aggrieved.
Unexpectedly, I was reluctant to eat and drink at home, but men took the money to support other women.
Zhou Guoping said:
"Of all the responsibilities in the world, the most fundamental responsibility is to truly become yourself and live out your unique personality and value."
I don't know if you feel this way, we always ignore the essence of things.
I always think that only by paying, I can get it.
In fact, if you lack something, and then blindly pay, you will only empty yourself, not get.
On the other hand, only when a person is self-sufficient and can still grow his own confidence after paying, such a payment is meaningful.
Women who are "cold" know how to give, but they will definitely set a boundary for themselves.
Within the boundaries, you can relax, outside the boundaries, never back down.
This boundary, more often than not, is demanding of oneself.
Don't give too much, and don't be too selfish.
Life is not easy, and it is even more difficult to be born as a woman.
At the end of the day, every woman should be clear that she has a lot of heart in order to be liked by others.
If you are empty, everything is nothing but self-deception.
To be a woman, warm and measured, kind and principled, and pay with a bottom line, is to put yourself in safety.
For the rest of your life, hopefully you can learn to be a "cold" woman.
About the author: Wu Yang. Multi-platform contracted author, female inspirational writer. Appreciate the emotions of the world and interpret the changes in the world.