[Press: In July 2020, we established the public account of "Middle School Teachers and Students". In the past six months, nearly 10,000 middle school teachers and students have gathered. In the early stage, we serialized Cao Zhenfeng's "Middle School Teachers and Students" and Ba Longfeng's "Never Lose My Love" (partial), which caused a good response among middle school teachers and students. Since January 30th, we have begun to serialize the new work "Memoirs of Middle School Teachers and Students" by Teacher Yin Xinwu, which is the reading process and work process of Teacher Yin, and it is also the mental journey of a generation of middle school teachers and students. I hope to get everyone's attention and support as always, and welcome everyone to punch in and read every day. 】
Original title: Memoirs of Middle School Teachers and Students: Ingenuity reflects the lonely road, and the book is dreaming
Author: Yin Xinwu
- 6 - A table of three thousand, nine years of dreams are still cold
Sunjia Lane is where my family has been renting for the longest time. The wife first took her two-year-old daughter to open a private book club in the Zhiyang shopping mall near Sunjia Lane, and during the opening of the book club, she had a son. Of the seven siblings in her mother's family, her brother was the only undergraduate. She is the filial daughter of the five townships and eight villages, and after the death of her parents and brother, she became the de facto head of the old house and the representative of the contracted land. She worked hard to guard the house, planting land here every year, giving graves to her deceased parents, and after 6 lawsuits in 2017-2019, she used a legal judgment to fight for the meager property belonging to her nephew. She was bullied and framed by her brother and sister, and was extremely exhausted in the protracted court.
Oh, and that's a bit of a stretch, back to the fall of 2000.
From moving to Sunjia Lane to moving away from here nearly 13 years later, the wife worked hard every day to wash and cook, and took time to ride a bicycle to a nest seven kilometers away to take care of her elderly parents, and suffered a huge blow from the death of her brother. When this blow was the most violent, the wife had almost no memory, and her eyes were like dementia, empty and helpless, and she no longer paid attention to any noise in this small courtyard. This extremely tragic situation has been staged in Sunjia Lane for a long time: sometimes I forget the oil pot placed on the stove, or hang the lock on the closed of the gate and go away; there are also many times, like a child, willful, tantrums, smashing dishes, bowls... oh! The troubled Yang family, the disaster-ridden 2009!
Let's pause for a moment the retrospective of the tragic years!
After our family moved out of East Avenue in the spring of 1999, we drifted for a year and a half and then moved to Sunjia Lane.
Turn back the clock to the summer of 2000.
That summer, my daughter was admitted to Zhiyang Junior High School. That summer, the sun was shining, the wind was gentle, and everything was so calm and harmonious.
After my daughter finished secondary school here, when she went to Beijing in 2006, my son also reached junior high school. And 11 years later, when his son went to Beijing, his brother-in-law's son chased out of the bus station of the development zone, crouched on the ground, covered his face and cried emotionally! That year, this young man was more than one meter eight tall!
In the autumn of 2013, because the land was to be built, my family moved to the He family compound. Then, after another three years and three months, our family ended renting.
In the nearly 13 years in Sunjia Lane, I worked in three schools in the countryside for nearly two years before returning to a primary school in the northern suburbs of the county. From this moment on, my wife and I tacitly cooperated, taking turns to send our children to school on bicycles, picking up our children home, and sun and rain, for 11 years!
Sunjia Lane is located near the mosque in Nanguan, the county seat, not far from Zhiyang Junior High School and Huining No. 2 Middle School. Every two or three days, I would carry a plastic jug with 50 pounds of water in each hand and laboriously carry water from the water room diagonally opposite the alley entrance. This one-time exercise of about 100 meters left a deep impression on my son! This year, when my son came home to visit his family, he said that his father was really a little old! At that time, your old man was really energetic!
I still remember that the day I moved into Sunjia Lane happened to be a Sunday, and it was my turn to be on duty. The week of duty at Nam Tsui Junior High School started the night before. At that time, it should be after the "National Day", the autumn mood is getting deeper, and the yellow leaves are drifting. After helping my wife put down the bulky furniture, I hurried to the school five kilometers away by bicycle in the twilight.
After the week's worth of weeks is over, I have time to take a closer look at the winding alley.
Sunjia Lane is divided into two branches in the north and south, which extend into the depths, and there are more than twenty families living in Mo. My family rents in the north side of the sub-alley, which should be regarded as the front alley. The door opens to the north, the courtyard is long from north to south, narrow from east to west, and another family surnamed Jin shares a door.
The family of three, the man works in the "salt government", the woman cooks for her son, and does short-term work in his spare time. There was a tall old man with the back of his ear, who was the grandfather of his children. After the old man's death, the Jin family opened another door on the west side of the alley where it came in, directly opposite the alley entrance. Then, at the junction between my house and his house, a wall was built with bricks, and from then on they went through their respective doors.
And our family of four, plus the son of the brother-in-law, and the son of the brother-in-law who was born here in the summer of 2001, a total of 6 people.
Those who often come here to visit their children are the elderly father-in-law, the mother-in-law, and the brother-in-law and brother-in-law who were in Silver at that time. When the figure of his brother-in-law appeared in the courtyard in the autumn of 2000, his son was close to being born. The brother-in-law's head, that thin, very kind look, still remains in the hearts of neighbors.
That autumn, my daughter quickly rose to fame at Zhiyang Junior High School because she ranked first in the whole class!
In the autumn of the following year, his brother-in-law left The Silver, where he had been working for six years, to idle in his hometown. During that time, the brother-in-law carefully cared for the fat son, and his heart was full of great satisfaction! The wife and brother had a far-reaching vision, and they had made up their minds early on to let their son grow up with the old woman. Because in his repeated thinking, his son's aunt (that is, the second sister) has the most qualifications to educate his children. Later, when my father-in-law died, as if possessed by a psychic, he entrusted the future of this round-faced grandson to his second daughter (that is, the grandson's aunt), and at that time, his wife and brother were still alive... In the darkness, did my father-in-law really see that his younger son would follow him and die? If this is not the case, then how can we explain what his old man has been so troubled to ponder--what arrangement?
The wife's shallow education after graduating from junior high school, coupled with five or six years of civil religious career, but less than ten years after giving birth to her daughter, she cultivated the first "prodigy" in Huining to directly attend the third grade of primary school. This naturally makes the young wife and brother's heart ignite the dream of talent.
The brother-in-law did not see his son going to college one day, so he went early. His wise eyes, however, comforted the correctness of this important decision.
In this small single-door courtyard in Sunjia Lane, there is a cherry tree. The earthen courtyard and bungalow are full of light, and usually the wife washes her clothes and hangs them on the wire to dry.
During the Wenchuan earthquake in 2008, the aftershocks left most of the water in the laundry basin that my wife had dried on the table. People working on a building under construction, surrounded by simple bricks directly opposite the door, shouted "Earthquake!" "However, the family that was caught in the middle did not have enough time to run to the alleyway in the earthquake. After the wife quietly scanned, she stood in the courtyard waiting for the earthquake, looking resigned to fate.
It was in this year that his wife and brother began to buy a house in Dingxi, and borrowed from the east and paid the "down payment" in the west. What I never expected was that only a year later, my wife and brother first sent the coffin of the old father to the dongshan of the nest, and then helplessly placed the old mother in Sunjia Lane.
It was in this small courtyard in SunJia Lane that my brother-in-law and I had a final farewell... It was the afternoon of November 1, 2009. I took my brother-in-law's son to the bookstore to play, and when I left, my brother-in-law fell asleep. By the time I and his son returned, my brother-in-law had already gone to Dingxi... From this day on, I never saw my brother-in-law again, until the bad news of his death came... And the last time he called my son in Dingxi, I didn't realize it at all: this familiar voice was heard for the last time...
Back to 2009, when the snow was cold and sunny!
The relatives could only take the young lonely and helpless child back from Dingxi back to Huining, settle down in Sunjia Lane, and then go home with tears in the snow. The small courtyard of SunJia Lane is shrouded in bone-chilling cold, and even the fire is a half-dead look, which makes people feel no warmth! In the days that followed, I watched my wife, who was completely knocked down by this disaster, and began to hold up the burden of the family, picking up and dropping off my wife's brother's dolls every day.
The most painful days pass very slowly, making people tired from time to time, and the knife cut like a drill heart! I don't know how I got rid of these last two years. I only remember an extremely oppressive air that filled every corner of the courtyard! oh! Life will always, always present a cruel side at the same time, in the darkness, painstakingly arrange good and tenacious people, to use the most silent, breathless action, to support the sky that seems to collapse in an instant, to give the lost child's heart the warmest, harbor-like shelter, and tranquil comfort, and let this obscure power into the child's daily life, this power eventually becomes the most moving sun, illuminating the child's boundless sorrow, and the inner fragility of the imminent collapse, Even illuminate the long road of life for children!
The most unbearable two years have finally passed! I don't know what's going on outside, and I don't even feel the change of seasons!
Every night, my son's little cousin would habitually ask me to touch his slippery back. And after the little guy gradually fell asleep, I wiped the tear marks from the corners of my eyes, sat next to my wife, and almost in vain enlightened her over and over again, so that she could "temporarily leave" from the sorrow that was too thick to dissolve. If you can still carry your energy, you will turn over your son's books, homework and other things, secretly thinking about buying some learning materials for your son, or pen and ink paper.
When my son was admitted to high school in 2011, my cousin was also successfully admitted to junior high school.
Life is still continuing the ordinaryness of chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea. The cousin's head has grown taller, and the silhouette is clearly a perfect copy of the image of the brother-in-law and the teenager. Born of a troubled boyhood, he began to be clear and shining, and began to devote himself to his busy study with enthusiasm.
At this point, I was taking science and computer classes at school. Every night, I went to pick up my son and his little cousin. When picking up the child, I often think of the scene when my wife and brother were alive, picking up the child with our husband and wife, and the tears of sadness suddenly blurred my vision, and I couldn't even stop the bicycle and stand on the side of the road to light a cigarette, so that the mood gradually calmed down...
At this point, I felt that time passed quickly. At this time, nearly 11 years had passed since my family moved into Sunjia Lane in the autumn of 2000. The old man fell asleep - the dream is still faint, and when he wakes up, the moon is even more - increase sorrow!
In less than two years, due to the stimulation and influence of my long-term depression, I could not sleep almost every night. This excessive worry and resentment made me look much older suddenly. The hair is even more shed very badly! Although her daughter also sent a lot of anti-hair loss medicine before and after, her hair was still getting thinner and thinner, and the comb could only slide in vain on the scalp... It hardly works to comb your hair. When washing your hair, you can always wrap a strand of hair.
In this way, my memory is almost far away from the inexplicable place. I often forget something I just remembered, let alone study a professional theory, or prepare a wonderful lesson, and even the ordinary "whiteboard" does not have the slightest interest in learning to master.
At the same time that I gradually became old and depressed, my son finally withstood all kinds of severe and even almost cruel tests inside and outside my studies, in order to pass the happy news of Being admitted to Huining No. 1 Middle School, which gave me and my wife the greatest comfort. Our son has made a name for himself in his studies, and we are very happy as a couple!
And his little cousin, in the affectionate and careful care of the old lady, in my silent watchful gaze, also stepped out of the grief step by step and with great difficulty, and turned the memory of his father into a driving force for moving forward! When my son's little cousin was admitted to high school, we had moved out of SunJia Lane and lived in the He family compound for a year.
Born in 1966, Yan Yuping, whose real name is Yin Xinwu, was admitted to Jingyuan Normal School in 1981 and has taught in nine schools. He has published papers on communications and children's education, won the second prize for the project organized by the Chinese Language Association, and presided over the provincial project to pass the acceptance. He enjoys reading, has long been engaged in the study of psychology, and has also dabbled in the fields of military history, Buddhist scriptures, Mongolian studies, classical poetry, children's literature and modern poetry.