Ear of wheat theory
Don't ask for the best him (her), but seek the most suitable him (her)
Walking into the wheat field, facing the choice but difficult to choose
We always crave perfect love, so we are accustomed to hesitation and wandering again and again in front of the door to happiness. Because we can't turn back, so our hearts are full of contradictions, we are afraid that what we miss is the best, and we always feel that the road ahead is still very long, and there should be better. In this way, the love that originally belonged to us eventually turned into someone else's marriage.
In psychology, this phenomenon is a reflection of the "wheat ear theory". This theory comes from the following story.
The great thinker and philosopher Plato asked the teacher Socrates what love was. Socrates told him to go to the wheat field first to pick the largest and goldenest ear of wheat in the whole wheat field, only once, and only to go forward, not to turn back.
Plato then did as the teacher said, and he walked out of the wheat field empty-handed. The teacher asked him why he hadn't picked it. He said: "Because I can only pick it once, and I can't go back, even if I see the biggest and most golden one, because I don't know if there is a better one in front, I didn't pick it." When I got to the front, I found that it was not as good as I had seen before, and the biggest and most golden ear of wheat had long been missed, so I didn't pick anything.
The teacher said, "This is love."
Then another day, Plato asked his teacher, Socrates, what marriage was. Socrates told him to go into the woods first and cut down the largest and most lush tree in the whole forest, and he could only cut it once, and he could only go forward and could not turn back.
Plato then did what the teacher said. This time, he brought back an ordinary tree, not very lush, not too bad. The teacher asked him, "How do you bring back this ordinary tree?" He said: "With the experience of the last time, when I walked most of the way and was empty-handed, I saw that this tree was not too bad, so I cut it down, so as not to bring back anything in the end."
The teacher said, "This is marriage smoke!"
It is almost impossible to find the largest of the countless ears of wheat, and the so-called "biggest" is often known after missing. After countless passing by, our hearts may be tired, so after a simple comparison, we make a hasty choice that is not necessarily really the best. Fate is so playful.
In fact, Plato's confusion is also our trouble, perfect love and marriage are difficult to get, for most people, fairytale love is just a luxury. When we want to use an item, we go through every drawer in the house and can't find it; When we don't need it, it inadvertently appears in front of us. The Creator loves to tease people, and so does love. When we write down the expectations for love one by one on the paper, and then eagerly hope that love will appear, love always goes around, either with this person or with that person can not arouse the spark of love. Finding the ideal lover in your mind is something that cannot be sought, so many people reluctantly come together.
In fact, life has never had an optimal solution, nor the most satisfactory solution, only a relatively satisfactory solution. Choosing a partner is a sacred and prudent thing for you and me, and marriage can also be said to be our second life. As the saying goes: "Men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man." Everyone wants to find their own Prince Charming or Snow White, but life is always biased, just like when you pick an ear of wheat in the wheat field, you will always find that there is a bigger than the ear of wheat in your hand, and the person who spends a lifetime with us is probably not the one we love the most, but it is not the one we hate the most.
Finding someone you like and fit for you to spend your life with is a very happy thing, but the odds are slim. If we wait with our whole life, we may find the person who is best for us, but who has the courage to wait with our whole life? Since we can't, we must cherish the ears of wheat in our hands, as an advertising slogan says: "I choose, I like!"
Travel through the wheat fields and find the destination of the heart in the fusion of hearts
Life is like crossing a wheat field, walking only once, and you can't turn back. To find your own best ear of wheat, you must have great courage and make considerable effort. If you want to have a perfect marriage, you can't blindly make hasty decisions, but if you hesitate, you will miss out on opportunities again and again. Only in the journey of love, accumulate experience, temper feelings, and understand what you really need, so that you can find a life partner that is truly suitable for you.
Perhaps God deliberately let us meet a few people who have no luck before we meet the angels in our lives, and after many wanderings, we can learn to cherish this belated gift. Rub shoulders with fate again and again, all impulses, passions, and romances slowly disappear, and there is a person who always occupies the most important position in your heart, and your concern and concern for him has not diminished in the slightest. That's love.
It doesn't take much reason to love someone, maybe he's not the best, maybe she's not the prettiest, but he/she must be the best fit for you because he/she knows your heart best. Love is the fusion of two hearts, the exchange of love and affection, and the communication of love and love. Love is looking for a spiritual destination, whether it is a man or a woman, when they are still ignorant and the love sinus is just beginning, they quietly outline their "other half" in the depths of their own souls, and it is tightly attached to their souls like a shadow, to accompany themselves throughout their lives, deeply rooted. The inherent charm and appeal of love are inseparable from external conditions, and when a person takes root in your heart, it can no longer be eliminated.
When we are looking for a partner, do not imagine the "ear of wheat" in our minds too perfectly, the goal of mate selection should be realistic, we must not pick and choose again, we must find the best. Of course, do not pay too much attention to external conditions, such as appearance, money, status, education, etc. Love is pure, too pure to tolerate a single impurity. We often set many standards self-righteously in order to find the ideal love. The search for a long time, or with looks, or with wealth, they think that they can use these to cultivate love. But when time gradually passes, they find that love disappears little by little, and the beauty of the once fantasy turns into a cloud, which is blown away by the breeze of time. Time can blow away the impurities of love, but it cannot blow away the essence of love, and the spiritual companion is the partner of life.
As the saying goes, "money can buy women, but it can't buy love", that is, love is not a commodity, and naturally money cannot be used to trade. Looks, wealth, mood... All will change their original state with the passage of time, and only the pure nature of love will not change. At Western weddings, priests ask the same question to every couple: whether you live, age, illness or death, you are willing to take care of her for the rest of your life... This is the meaning of love. When you suffer setbacks, when you have nothing, when you have white hair, looking at the people who accompany you and do not abandon, you know what love is.
Once love is missed, it will not be repeated. When Cupid's arrow hits us, we must cling to the other end of the arrow to our lover. When you meet the right person, you can live comfortably with each other, simple or complex, don't hesitate, firmly grasp him/her, and get real love in each other.