Text/Zhongnian Nian
Photo/ Stills from the movie "Gone with the Wind"
Many regrets in love are due to hindsight. You think that you love someone deeply, you can't live without the other person, in fact, what you love is only your own illusion, without him, you are not only fine, but live better.
It's just that at that time, you were deeply trapped in a whirlpool, no one pulled you out, and you didn't want to come out. You are weaving a dream for yourself, and in that dream, there is the perfect love that you have sworn to guard to the death.
When you suddenly wake up one day in the future, you will find that the dream is just a dream, there is no meaning at all, but because of the dream and missed a lot of happiness that could have been had, so you have an epiphany, regret, but unfortunately everything is too late.
In the novel "Gone with the Wind" by American writer Margaret Mitchell, the heroine Hao Scarlett, is not this the case? For a long time, she thought she was in love with her first love, Ashley, but later she found out that what she was in love with was nothing more than an illusion.
That feeling is especially like making a dress when you are young, putting it on the other person with joy, not thinking about whether the other person likes it or not, and not thinking about whether it is suitable, just wishful thinking to wear it for him, and then immunizing yourself: you like him like this, this is the best for you.
But in fact, this is not like at all, let alone love, this is just the willfulness of youth. When the other party refuses, you mistakenly think that this like is more intense, in fact, this is not like, this is unwilling.
Just as at the end of the novel, Scarlett finally recognized her heart and feelings, she said:
"He never really existed, he only existed in my fantasies. I didn't love him, but something I had imagined myself, and I made a beautiful dress, and when Ashley came with the horse, I put it on him and said to myself, You love him. Actually, I don't love, I love that dress. ”
What does this passage mean? This means that what she really loves is not Ashley as a person, but the self who loves him, that is, she loves love itself. And that's tantamount to a self-deception.
So later she woke up and learned that Ashley did not love herself, not only did she not feel sad, but she felt relieved, because she did not care, her psychological activity was: Do you love me, what does it have to do with me? I don't care about you at all, and I don't love you.
This moment is the moment when Scarlett really grows up in love, she finally wakes up from her dream and begins to face the actual life, but Brad, who has always loved her deeply, chooses to leave because of her heartbreak, even if she abandons her self-esteem and confesses to Red, telling him that the person she really loves is him, he does not care.
After reading too many love novels with happy endings, we probably think that the ending of this novel is tragic, but I think it is very reasonable, feeling regret when I am young, but feeling normal when I am an adult.
How many people know how to cherish after they have lost it? How many people have really grown up after being injured? A happy ending is an ideal, and constant loss and missing is the norm.
Only by seeing through this can we really mature, and throwing away unrealistic fantasies is the beginning of maturity.
From the changes in Hao Scarlett's feelings for Ashley, it can be analyzed that women do not love, and what body language they generally have.
These women, either they don't love themselves, but they mistakenly think that they love it, or they really love, but they are hurt by each other. Whether the former or the latter, the result is the same, do not love will show it, only in time to stop the loss, for each other, is the best choice.
In the past, Hao Sijia's mind was on Ashley, and she regarded Ashley as the only spiritual support, even if she was married and had children at that time, she didn't care at all.
But later, she no longer thought about him day and night, but turned around to do her own thing, and she gradually realized that love is unreliable, and the only one who can really be relied on is herself, so she wants more money than to get love.
When a woman starts to do her own thing and no longer stares at a man all day, it means that she does not love, or does not love so much, where a person's time and energy is spent, where the heart is, can not be hidden.
For many years, Ashley had been in Scarlett's heart, and she had been thinking about him all day, staring at him, and no matter how noisy the crowd was, she could recognize him at a glance.
But later, Ashley's wife Melanie died of dystocia, and Scarlett suddenly realized that Melanie was her only spiritual support, and she was her only sister in this life.
And Ashley is just a fantasy, he has many shortcomings that he can't accept, see through it, and he is disappointed and no longer loves. So at this time, her eyes are no longer staring at each other, and she no longer cares whether he loves himself or not.
When a woman becomes indifferent to everything, it means that the other party and her are dispensable.
In the past, Scarlett Hao very much hoped that Melanie would die, because she felt that when Melanie was gone, the place around Ashley would be empty, and she could get what she wanted and be with him.
Later, she found that she did not love Ashley, and she did not want Melanie to leave, so everything was subverted, and she did not think about the future between the two at all, she just wanted to live in the present, and live for herself wholeheartedly.
At this time, Hao Sijia had no love in her heart, and even if she did, it had nothing to do with Ashley.
Many times this is the case, we think that we can't live without someone, but in fact, we underestimate our own ability to bear it, and we also tell the other party the weight in our hearts.
If you really let go, the sky will not fall, and you will not collapse, but will transform into a new self, a more mature and stronger self.
Margaret Mitchell's novel "Gone with the Wind" is a world-renowned classic literary masterpiece, and the inspiration for us is all kinds of things, this novel is set in the American Civil War, depicting a generation of legendary Scarlett, in the chaotic world of struggle and redemption.
Hao Scarlett is a legend, her growth in love is worth our details, and the bravery and tenacity shown in the process of fighting against fate are more worthy of our details.
It can be said that this is a comprehensive apocalypse of female growth, and if we can understand every detail of this novel, we can probably live more clearly and more transparently.
"Gone with the Wind" is worth reading repeatedly, and it is recommended that the following genuine hardcover version be used in the upper and lower volumes.
Drift up and down Classic World Masterpiece ¥73.8 Purchase
END.