"Congratulations on holding hands! I hope you have good results! A tall, slightly chubby woman smiled happily and sent blessings to a blind date, she was Deng Jie.
Straightforward, enthusiastic and cheerful, it is the impression left by Deng Jie. "I am engaged in sports, so people are tall and tall, cheerful and outgoing", deng Jie said, she was once a physical education teacher at a university in Shijiazhuang, and after retirement, she devoted herself to the cause of "public welfare red bride", and for several years, she has been "busy and happy".
May all lovers become dependents
People who know Deng Jie know that she is warm-hearted, and from a young age she often introduces people to objects, and she is happier than she is when she sees young men and women happily tie up. "May all lovers in the world become dependents!" Deng Jie's mind was so simple.
Life has also rewarded her good popularity, and people around her like to mediate when there is a dispute. For other people's requests for help, Deng Jie never bothered, she smiled and said: "To help others is to help yourself, 'give people roses, and have afterscent in your hands.'"
At the end of 2018, Deng Jie retired. She found that there were more and more single men and women in older age, their parents were in a hurry, and more and more people were asking her to help introduce people.
Deng Jie is also paying more and more attention to the social phenomenon of marriage, love and childbearing: there are 800,000 elderly leftover women in Beijing, the country's fertility rate is decreasing year by year, many young people of the right age are reluctant to get married, late marriage and late childbearing, and the divorce rate is high... These made Deng Jie think a lot in her heart.
What touched her the most was a mother's cry: "My daughter is already in her thirties, high or low, watching the boys introduced to her less and less, I am in a hurry to die!" This is to not get married all the time, what can I do when I am old? I'm counting on you here, little Deng, you must help me..." The mother held Deng Jie's hands tightly, her hands were cold, her eyes full of eagerness, and she cried as she spoke. "Big sister, you can rest assured, I will do my best to help the girl." Deng Jie's heart was trembling, and she knew that behind every "leftover girl" there was a pair of anxious parents.
"Poor parents in the world!" Since you have time now, do your best to do it! Perhaps, a casual matchmaking will help a family and harmonize several relationships.
Haggard for the people of Isaac
In order to solve the problem of marriage and love between older men and women, Deng Jie mobilized all relatives and friends to contact and inquire from many sides to find suitable targets to help older men and women connect. In the hot summer, she ran on the road of matchmaking, and her body, which was afraid of heat, sweated under the exposure of the sun; in the winter day when the north wind whistled, she still ran for the blind date and men, and the cold chill invaded her lungs... In the silent night, Deng Jie was busy chatting and communicating, understanding the situation, and often stayed up late at night.
People found that Deng Jie lost weight, and she fell from 180 pounds to more than 150 pounds. Deng Jie smiled and said: "I have been worried about this flesh, now it is too good to lose the scale, this is crooked, an activity to lose five pounds, I helped others, I also lost weight" This is Deng Jie's optimistic and positive attitude towards life!
In the process of being a red bride, Deng Jie not only takes time and energy, but also builds money. She visits relatives and friends, visits and contacts everyone she knows, buys gifts, invites herself to dinner, and is more difficult to organize blind dates. Every event needs to find a venue, set up the venue, prepare small gifts... When I asked if there was anyone to sponsor the event, Deng Jie smiled and said, "People who do business are all helping students and helping the disabled, where is the one who helps to do the object?" Some people even think that she runs every day like this, and it must be the government department that pays her wages.
In fact, every time there is an event, Deng Jie is losing money inside, and until recently, there were individual parents to sponsor it.
"I have a pension, it doesn't matter if you post less money, you can't hold on to more." Deng Jie was a little helpless, but she kept trying to persevere.
Support the way husband and wife get along
Most people are very grateful for Deng Jie's help after the success of marriage, but affected by some pit people's marriage brokers, some people do not trust her, and even think that she is seeking benefits through some channel, and directly block her after marriage. "It doesn't matter, as long as they live happily in the future." Deng Jie was very open-minded.
There are also some people who come to Deng Jie after a quarrel after marriage, it seems that this unpaid red lady is also responsible for "after-sales", but she does not care, always enthusiastic persuasion. In the face of the angry man, she said: "Do you think your child lacks a father and a young mother?" Most of the children in the juvenile detention center come from single-parent families, and you want your own children to be part of them? Men go out to work to earn money, and it is the duty of people to go home and love their wives and children. She also advised the woman: "Good wife Wang Sandai, women want wisdom, when he is angry, you don't have a hard top, you really have to move your hands, aren't we suffering losses?" Dripping water through the stone, Ejok was just a wise man. ”
365 days a year, Deng Jie has 340 days of work. "Seeing someone marry happily because of my existence, life is complete, and I am worth the hard work." Deng Jie said.
The crowd gathered firewood and the flames were high
One fence three piles, one good man three gangs. Deng Jie realized that the strength of one person alone is limited, and it must be widely mobilized to involve more people, especially with the support of relevant government departments. Deng Jie contacted the Original Community in Shanghe and was supported by Wu Bin, director of the neighborhood committee.
She received people seeking help at the venue provided by the neighborhood committee and designated every Tuesday as a "community red brides working day." For nearly three years, she has been raining and raining, without interruption.
"Maybe I can't slack off once, and maybe someone will leave with disappointment." It's nothing to be tired of yourself, just lose weight. For the insistence of the "community red bride working day", Deng Jie said so.
In 2019, under the leadership of the Shijiazhuang Municipal Civilization Office, Deng Jie set up the "Deng Jie Public Welfare Red Lady Volunteer Service Team" to attract more enthusiastic people to join the team, and she also inquired from many sources to know the public welfare red brides in other areas, forming the main group of red brides, communicating with each other, providing information to each other, and learning from each other's experience to promote more marriages.
On December 29, 2019, Deng Jie and the Jiangning Neighborhood Committee organized a blind date for 100 people. After the event, she was so tired that she fell asleep for two days, which made her realize how important the support of the government department was.
After New Year's Day 2020, as soon as she went to work, she went to the mayor of Xinhua District of Shijiazhuang City, who patiently listened to her and asked: "What do you want us to do?" How can we help you? Then helped her contact the district women's federation and the district union. The Xinhua District Women's Federation, trade unions and district youth league committees are very supportive of her work.
Zhao Lingpu's office also set up a special Office for her to set up a Public Welfare Red Lady Blind Date Office. She also received a lot of support and help from Zhang Fengyan, chairman of the customs trade union.
"Now the 'Red Lady of Public Welfare' is my career. With the support of various departments, my career will definitely flourish! Facing the future, Deng Jie is full of confidence, "We still have to rely on the community, a red rope connects the community, and warmth is sent to tens of millions of homes." The most grassroots governments care about the people at the grassroots level. We work together with the community to solve the problems of the people, build a harmonious society, and improve the happiness index. ”
With the support of so many people and relevant departments, Deng Jie's public welfare red bride's fame has increased, and more and more information in her hands, she has promoted more marriages. "May all lovers in the world become dependents" is her simple ideal.
Self-cultivation leads to learning first
"We are a family of intellectuals, my daughter is an only child, she has been excellent since she was a child, she has passed the tenth grade of piano, art, calligraphy, dance, learning everything is very outstanding, versatile, studying for a doctorate in Beijing. Our family's economic conditions are also good, you must pick the best boy for my daughter! "What year was your daughter?" "'83." "Your children are indeed excellent, but how many boys of this age are still unmarried?" If you want to find the right one, you have to change your mindset and accept a second marriage. This is the scene where Deng Jie receives a father.
This made Deng Jie aware of the problems of older men and women, they and their families are not accurate, and they must change their concepts and parents. Therefore, she began to train and guide older young people, and she also cooperated with TV stations to promote the concept of marriage and love. Her slogan is "Fall in Love With Eclecticism" as people-oriented, choosing only the right people and abandoning all rules and regulations, because no one is tailor-made for someone.
Some older young people are because of too much interference from their parents, and in response to this situation, Deng Jie called for "not allowing parents to participate too much!" She proposed that "every family must learn to say the three words 'sorry', let the family break the ice, and make the family happy." ”
In the cause of "public welfare red bride", Deng Jie deeply felt that her knowledge was not enough, "people must learn for life, I now start to study psychology, arm myself with psychology, in order to better communicate with people, do a better job, I am also ready to take the marriage and family counselor, but also let our team of red brides come to the exam." Everyone holds a certificate and is managed by star level. Make our team more formal and more credible. ”
Of course, it is not enough to study on her own, and Deng Jie feels that if she wants to solve the current situation of marriage and love, we must strengthen training for older young people. She intends to set up a dating base in the community office, invite teachers to organize love training, premarital training, qualified parent training, husband and wife reconciliation training...
"Needed by many people, touched by many people, hurt by a few people, and trying to persevere." Deng Jie's efforts have also been recognized by the relevant departments, she was awarded the "2020 Lei Feng Volunteer Advanced Model" by the Shijiazhuang Municipal Civilization Office, the North Xinhua District Government awarded the title of the sixth "Xinhua Good People", and her Red Lady team was rated as the advanced team of Shijiazhuang City's anti-epidemic team by the municipal government. She was also elected as a women's deputy and a deputy to the Xinhua District People's Congress.
"A thousand miles of marriage." Deng Jie was that red rope, and she wanted to tie more sentient men and women.
(Correspondent Wang Zhanmei, Yan Durong Media Reporter Song Yan)