Some people say that without accidents and changes, a story cannot be constructed.
The movie "Age of Innocence" from the beginning of the protagonist is ready to be engaged to his fiancée to the end, the protagonist naturally and the planned fiancée engaged, married, have children until old age, completely in accordance with the established life trajectory of the head can be seen at a glance, during which there is not a substantial change of events, but also constitute a good movie.
Because accidents and changes occur in people's hearts. It is also a film that is worth pondering and revealing human nature.
The protagonist, Nurem, is a young lawyer from 19th-century British high society, who is about to get engaged to the big lady Mei, who is about to marry the door-to-door big miss, and meets Ellen, who returns to New York due to marital changes. Alan was his fiancée's cousin and the one he had a crush on when he was younger.
Ellen tried to divorce and rebel after witnessing her husband's sexual affair, and her rebellion against traditional rules not only dared to say but also dare to do, she was brave and free, but she also became the center of speech of the local high society, and was regarded as an outlier by the nobles and ostracized.
Ellen, who pursues freedom with her heart, sees her as she is and feels sorry for her.
But in the end, the two never crossed the thunder pool. Until he was old, when Nurem's hair was gray, he had the opportunity to see Alan again, but he also chose to leave.
Nurem once said, "There's nothing you can't undo, you can get a divorce, and I'm still single." "Why didn't we end up together?
On the surface, it may seem preordained, in 19th-century America, the upper nobility ostensibly defended a set of strict standards and rules of life, a deviant woman who fought against an unhappy marriage, out of step with traditional rules, and was no longer blessed. A man who is engaged or even married is even less allowed to have a relationship with another woman. In the end, the male and female protagonists failed to break free from the shackles of the world and bravely joined together.
In fact, behind the description is the complexity of human nature.
Stills from the movie "The Age of Innocence"
The answer is pointed out at the beginning of the film: "Aceh (Nurem) appreciates this boldness to challenge tradition, and although he privately questions conformism, he spares no effort to support tradition in public." Although Nuren advocates freedom and questions the rules of traditional rules in his heart, he lives strictly according to such rules on the outside.
This is inconsistent with Alan's brave character of internal and external unity, who is still fighting against unhappy marriages.
Alan and May, one is what he wants, and the other is the defender of the rules of reality that "represent everything that is good in high society".
American psychologist Robert. Sternberg's famous theory of the triangle of love holds that the elements that make up love are passion, intimacy, and commitment.
He loved Ellen, no doubt, but the way he loved her was by protecting Alan by obeying the traditional rules, not by the goal of having to get Alan. Their love begins with passion, but with less commitment.
We look at their emotional development line, and after almost every internal and external conflict and contradiction, he chose to obey the rules, doomed to this pure love that lacked commitment and could only go farther and farther in the shackles of traditional rules.
1. When Allen returned to her mother's home in New York after the misfortune of marriage, there were many unfriendly remarks and prejudices against Allen in local high society. In fact, Ellen herself did not care too much about these constraints, she has always been eclectic and free. However, Nurem supports Ellen by announcing the news of his engagement to May in advance, so that everyone can see that Alan has another family behind him.
He also defended Alan in front of his family to defend her image, while also persuading the local nobles to invite Alan to a banquet of the highest rules to dispel prejudice against her.
This series of actions stems from his love for Alan, but in a way that follows tradition —keeping Alan from being hurt by the rules of tradition, rather than taking actions aimed at getting Alan. But it also pushed Ellen from reality to a step further away from himself, he was engaged, and for Nurem, who obeyed the rules, the possibility of being with Alan after that would only become less and less likely.
2, his heart clearly supports Alan's divorce, fights with the unhappy marriage to the end, regains his freedom and pursues his own happiness.
But how did he actually do it? Not only did he fail to convince his elders to tell Alan what he really thought. He was also entrusted with the task of being a lobbyist to persuade Alan not to divorce.
The outlaw Alan didn't care about the rumors and difficulties, but she cared about Nurem's thoughts. After listening to his words, he did not intend to divorce for the time being, so he missed the most favorable opportunity for divorce.
While the hearts of the two people are getting closer and closer, the distance in reality is one step away.
3, Nurem is aware of his ambivalence, hopes to explain clearly to Alan, open his heart and clarify each other's intentions. But he did not take the initiative, but waited in the hope that Allen would show his heart to him.
Before Allen could say his word, he left in chagrin when the other guests came to visit.
His love for Alan, too fiery and too willful, had never been intellectually prepared, and could only let him oscillate between the most primitive desires in his heart and the rules of the real world.
4) After each entanglement and swing, Nurem will choose to obey the rules of reality as a way to escape his feelings with Ellen. He thought he and May would get married as soon as possible to solve the problem. So he deliberately tried to fight for Mei and her family to get married as soon as possible.
5, the inner conflict struck again. The more he tries to escape from Ellen in reality, the harder it is to let go of Alan inside. When he couldn't help but see Alan again, he finally couldn't help but talk to Alan.
But Ellen told him that it was precisely because of the things he had done for her, the efforts he had made to protect her from being hurt by the traditional rules, that she felt his love and kindness.
If they break the rules because of their own desires, they are destroying the most precious qualities in him, and they are not the Nuron she loves.
There is no reason for this.
He was actually reminding Nuron that you are not the kind of person who can break the rules and hurt others. You can't throw everything away for our feelings.
Nurem really couldn't do it.
Even though he said, "Your decision is not irrevocable, I'm still single."
But you see, when the news came that the application for an early wedding was approved by the elders. He compromised again. It seems that he "had to" accept the reality of marrying Mei in advance, but in fact, this was all promoted by himself.
5, then completely compromise. Alan was his last test before marriage.
When he had the chance to see Alan again by the seashore, he gave the opportunity a bet, and he made a bet: as soon as Alan turned before the sailboat sailed past the lighthouse, he would come forward. This is another foreshadowing of the ending, he always gives the opportunity to fate, but does not know that fate is in his and Ellen's hands.
In fact, Ellen was already deliberately hiding from him, so he didn't wait for her to turn around. It's like their final ending.
The first half is where he pushes Alan far away, and the second half is when Allen wants to fulfill his reality.
6) The traditional rules and the decent newlywed wife, who perfectly represent the observance of this high society, have never been able to satisfy his inner desires. His growing love for Alan led him to take the initiative to go to Ellen. They want to be able to watch over each other outside of marriage. Ellen did not return to England, and Nurem had the opportunity to see her occasionally.
He's finally starting to break the rules, and he wants Alan to stay. Although there are no specific plans for the future.
But the cost of following the heart is also obvious. His reputation in this circle, the expectations of his family, the fulfillment of his family.
Ellen saw the consequences for Nuron, and she knew that was something Nuron had always cared about, and that was easier for him to belong to. In the end, Alan chose to leave in order to protect him and his family's decency in the rules, just as he had protected Alan from being harmed by the rules.
Because she knew that breaking through tradition and going against the worldly love was too heavy. She didn't want Nurem to bear it, and it would be painful for the conflicted him. And love will only seem insignificant in the longer pains of the future.
6, Alan's departure, but also stimulated Nuren's inner desire. He is ready to confess to his wife that he wants to escape the oppressive and boring life, plans to travel long distances on his own, or even elope with Alan. At this time, he learned the news that his wife was pregnant. Faced with realistic responsibilities, this time, he had to compromise again. And this compromise is a lifetime.
You see, he never really got to give up everything reality. Because that means responsibility and responsibility for him. He carefully maintains with kindness everything he has in the rules. Although this is obedience to the rules, Ellen sees his good qualities and is willing to protect his goodness at all times.
Therefore, for Nurem, who has a contradictory personality, true love is not together, which may be a better choice.
No matter how deeply two people love, people are still just a small and fragile existence in the environment. Love is great, but people in love have their own vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
In terms of the integrity of love, Nuron did not promise the goal of "being together" in this love, but he could not help but think in his heart, and he never fought against tradition in action. His dual personality doomed their love not to have the goal of "being together" from the start. Therefore, this love begins with the pure yearning of the heart, but ends with the promise of reality, which is inevitable.
From the perspective of the expression of love, this love begins with the submission to the traditional rules, and also ends with the obedience to the traditional rules, which is also inevitable.
Write in the last words:
Nuron's contradictory personality is like the life of many ordinary people. I have dreamed in my heart and longed for freedom. But in the end, it had to succumb to reality.
Because dreams come from the heart, they are often very simple.
To realize a dream, you must set specific goals and detailed execution plans and take action to pursue them.
But the process of setting goals for your dreams is too arduous. If dreams run counter to realistic expectations, then the road to chasing dreams also needs to break through the shackles of the rules of reality and find another way to ensure that the realization of dreams does not conflict with reality. This process has no ready-made solutions to refer to, you need to innovate and act on your own, it will be super brain-intensive, extremely lonely and difficult. Therefore, very few people can do it, and those who do it are all the leaders who have contributed to the progress of mankind.
The easier way, of course, is to obey reality, because this path, with ready-made rules and options, only needs to be executed without further thought. When dreams and reality are not unified, of course it is easier to follow reality. It's just that there are options that you choose one and you're bound to lose the other.
Life itself is contradictory, and behind every choice means giving up. Every contradictory heart is ultimately confronted with compromise.
If you want to realize your dreams and be able to achieve both reality, you must pay the efforts and wisdom that ordinary people can hardly pay.
I am a confidant of Lan Yan and accompany you to become a better self!