英語故事演講幽默小故事大全

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老師正在講課，彼得打起瞌睡來了。 Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老師：彼得！你說說，世界上什麼最大？ Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What？Eyelids？ 老師：什麼？眼皮？ Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老師。因為我眼睛一閉，眼皮就把世界上所有的東西都遮住了 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做遊戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜裡 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家裡。他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裡呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢幹什麼了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麼意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站着兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒隻有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿着一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子裡。 客人微笑着把奶酪放進嘴裡說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。 英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個老美看到就笑我說, "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎麼反應這麼快, 聯想力這麼豐富時,旁邊的 一個老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)是以呢,這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能詳的喔! 下次就換你去取笑老美了.