The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, an ancient and complex interpersonal relationship, is often seen as a topic that is difficult to live in harmony. In many families, there always seems to be some unspeakable contradictions and frictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But when we dig deeper into the root of these problems, we find that many of them actually stem from greed and excessive desire.
In modern society, people tend to strive for perfection and perfection, hoping that everything in life can be done according to their wishes. This mentality is especially evident in the mother-in-law relationship. The mother-in-law may have high expectations of her daughter-in-law and hope that she will fully meet her standards, while the daughter-in-law may want the mother-in-law to treat herself like a biological mother and solve all problems for herself. However, when both sides fail to meet the other's expectations, conflicts and grievances arise.
If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can reduce some calculations, less excessive demands on each other and endless disputes, then many contradictions will naturally be reduced. In fact, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship does not need to be overly complicated. All that is needed on both sides is a state of mutual understanding and tolerance. Mother-in-law should understand that daughters-in-law are people who live with their sons, and they have their own life Xi and ways of thinking; and daughters-in-law should also understand that mothers-in-law are elders who have more experience and wisdom in life. Both parties should respect and care for each other, and work together for the harmony and happiness of the family.
On that bright afternoon, I was returning from playing in the park with my children, and I happened to meet my neighbor upstairs in the hallway, a young mother, whom I will call Yaoyao for the time being. She hugged Xiao Yaoyao with a hint of exhaustion and anxiety on her face.
I know the situation of her family, two generations living together, there will inevitably be friction. So I comforted, "Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and you still live together for two generations." There will inevitably be some minor frictions. Yaoyao's mother nodded, "Yes, in fact, I envy your family." It's always so kind and laughing. ”
"Actually, we have had conflicts, but it's good for everyone to understand each other. I laughed. Yaoyao's mother was silent for a while, and then began to pour out her troubles, "Actually, I think the root cause of the conflict in the family is my mother-in-law. She always interferes in everything at home, even telling her how to take care of the children. She complained that her mother-in-law's cooking was too light, that the washing machine used too much water, that her clothes were not clean by hand, and so on. I listened to her complaints, and I knew in my heart that this was not just Yaoyao's mother's problem, but a problem that many families would encounter.
She was obviously dissatisfied with her mother-in-law's various behaviors, and felt that having her mother-in-law at home would be uncomfortable everywhere. I suggested that she let her mother-in-law go back to her hometown so that their home could be quieter.
I obviously touched the sore spot of Yaoyao's mother, and her dissatisfaction with her mother-in-law exploded instantly. Her eyes sharpened, and her voice raised a few degrees: "You said it easily, let you face these things every day, you try?"
I was stunned for a moment, I didn't expect her to react so violently, and I didn't know how to respond for a while.
Yaoyao's mother continued: "If my mother-in-law goes back to her hometown, who will pick up the big treasure at home? Xiaobao is still so young and needs someone to take care of it. Her son doesn't come home until he works so late every day, should I be a woman to do these things?"
Seeing her contradictory attitude, I couldn't help but feel a little helpless, and felt that her behavior was a bit artificial. So, I half-jokingly gave her an unrealistic suggestion. I said, "Why don't you let your mother-in-law take both of you back to the country?
Hearing my suggestion, Yaoyao's mother's expression became even more complicated. She smiled wryly, as if feeling both helpless and amused by my thoughts.
"You put it simply," she sighed, "how is it possible to hand over the two children to my mother-in-law to take back to the countryside? Dabao is still only a primary school student and needs to be picked up and cared for; Xiaobao is so young, how can I rest assured that she will leave my sight? Moreover, sending the children to the countryside and letting the elderly take care of them is not what we should do as parents." ”
I realized that Yaoyao's mother's worries and contradictions were real. She wants her mother-in-law's help in the family, but she also doesn't want her mother-in-law to interfere too much in her life. In reality, it is difficult to strike a balance in such a situation.
This incident made me deeply aware that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a complex and sensitive topic, which requires the joint efforts and wisdom of both husband and wife to solve.
I think of my own family, my parents have always been very loving, and the way they get along with each other has also given me a lot of inspiration. They respect, understand and support each other and face life's challenges and difficulties together. They rarely quarrel, and they don't quarrel over trivial matters. I know that this is because they love each other, are willing to give for each other, and know how to balance family relationships.
In contrast, Yaoyao's mother's attitude and behavior made me feel a little difficult to understand. She seems to want to rely on her mother-in-law's help and is unwilling to let her mother-in-law interfere in her life. Such an idea is contradictory in itself, because the harmony of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship requires the efforts and compromise of both parties. If only one's own interests are considered, and the feelings of others are not taken into account, then contradictions and disputes are inevitable.
I really can't figure out why some people are so difficult to get along with in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? There is no deep hatred between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so why do they start arguing as soon as they meet each other? Maybe it's because I'm more open-minded, and I usually listen to what my in-laws say. We don't have much intersection either, after all, I prefer to live my life independently, not expecting help from others, and not wanting to involve too much. I can't do that kind of thing that wants the horses to run and not give them grass.
The next time she came to my house, I would be in a dilemma! I didn't want to fall into the same situation, and I didn't think it was appropriate to turn her away.
When netizens learned about Yaoyao's mother's situation, they launched ridicule on social media. Among them, someone humorously said: What Yaoyao's mother needs now is not a psychological counselor, but the sixth child in the gourd baby.
It's just a joke, but it also reflects netizens' ridicule of Yaoyao's mother. Everyone hopes that she can solve the problems in the family as soon as possible and live a happy life. Netizens, what do you think?