Author | Zhao Shuhe
Since March, a book "I Send Express in Beijing" has appeared on the new book rankings of major websites.
The book's author, Hu Anyan, who worked as a courier in Guangdong and Beijing, was a popular post on Douban before publishing his first book, "My Year on the Night Shift in Debang."
Hu Anyan has gradually become known as a writer, and what everyone is interested in is the contrast between his low-level part-time work experience and his identity as a writer.
At the end of April, Hu Anyan and Fan Yusu were invited to hold a dialogue called "Symphony of Silence, When a Worker Writes with a Pen" at the Tangu Slow Mob Park in Mentougou, Beijing.
Hu and Fan Yusu are often seen as writers of the same type: they have worked or performed manual labor and have no traditional literary education.
Some call them "low-level writers," or "amateur writers."
On the day of the event, Hu Anyan wore a bright-colored coat, which matched Beijing in mid-spring.
The host said that he had a sense of youth, and that he did not look like a middle-aged man, not only because of what he was wearing, but also because of his shyness and restraint – which is more common in young people.
Before the event, he even found a corner where no one had his back to the audience, or sat or stood up.
Puzhao, the editor who came with him, explained that he needed a little mental construction on such occasions.
If you have to "label" a person (sometimes, this is the most convenient and fast way), then in Ju Anyan's body, the most obvious first label is social fear.
In his writings, Ju repeatedly wrote and reflected on his personality: he was afraid of disappointment, often felt guilty (sometimes unnecessary) about people, and was not good at verbal expression.
Compared to Fan Yusu's cheerful and talkative, he is concise and quiet. Most of the time, he tiptoed lightly, as if trying to find a balance between tension and calm.
When the host threw the question to Fan Yusu, he was obviously more relaxed, and when the question came to him, his feet would tiptoe lightly in nervousness.
Judging from the observation of the reporters, Hu Anyan's verbal expression is actually not as "weak" as his self-evaluation.
In fact, in his conversation, we can already see a Hu Anyan that is similar to the text: alert, rigorous, objective, gentle, logical and humorous.
More people encounter such Hu Anyan in the text.
The three non-fiction works that Hu has written so far (one has been published and the other two have been serialized on the "Black and Blue" public account) are all about himself and his own experience. From these words, we can piece together a Hu Anyan who constantly seeks to shape himself in writing.
01
Embark on the path of writing
Born in Guangzhou in 1979, after graduating from school, Hu Anyan lived in Guangzhou, Beijing, Shanghai, Nanning, Dali and other places, during which he worked as a hotel intern, gas station employee, comic book club apprentice, convenience store clerk, bicycle shop salesman, women's clothing store owner, online store owner, bakery apprentice, courier and other professions, until he resigned from the courier position at the end of 2019, in two decades, he has worked a total of about 19 jobs.
In 2009, Hu began to experiment with writing on a part-time basis.
He gave himself a pseudonym, Hu Anyan, which means "why" in the literary language, and he used this pseudonym to express a state of ignorance of the world.
Ju Anyan
During that time, he found a position in the online "Black and Blue Forum", where he made many friends, judged each other's works, exchanged literary ideas and writing skills, and used this platform to write novels on and off.
Until 2020, Hu Anyan's writing and reading were focused on the direction of fiction, and he published an electronic version of the novel collection, but the readers were not many, and it was not until he wrote non-fiction that he got a relatively wide audience.
Hu wrote about several events that influenced him to start writing in the essay "Writing for Escape", in which he wrote about four things that promoted his writing.
The first was when he was creating comics with friends in Beijing, and one of his friends told him one day, "Actually, you are better suited to writing."
Hu Anyan with friends in Beijing
The second thing was that he once went to Yanjiao to see a doctor, and on the way near the hospital, he met two patients, and one of the rural women asked him for a cake, and he had two cakes at that time, one of which was intact. He gave them the bread, and they split the bread in two, turned away, and enjoyed it together without thanks.
The third thing is that when he opened a women's clothing store in Nanning, a female mentally disabled person familiar to nearby stores came to his store, and put three pairs of denim shorts on himself in the eyes of everyone's mockery and laughter, he couldn't bear this scene, and stopped her behavior, when she raised her head, Hu Anyan said in the article that at that moment he saw himself in her: "panic, fear, loneliness, grievance."
It was then that he suddenly realized that "between dark gray and light gray", he was actually closer to this woman than most others.
The fourth thing was that after he returned to Guangzhou, he once had an argument with someone on the road, he was irritable and irritable, and then he realized that his past life had hurt him, and he did not want to continue to integrate into this life. He needed to find a thing to engage in and leave everything in front of him to resist the meaninglessness that life brings, so he chose to write.
From these four events he wrote, we will find that Hu Anyan's writing has a strong self-appeal and a strong humanistic background.
In the future, we can find this in Juan Yan's established style of writing, even if he records personal experiences, he does not have the curiosity of prying into life, let alone catering to the public's imagination of a certain group, but thinks about people and destiny itself from the heart.
Hu Anyan's first method of writing training was to read a lot. He first bought a bookcase, then bought some books, and filled the bookcase.
Ju Anyan's desk at home in Chengdu
Salinger was the writer he initially liked and the object of his imitation when he first started writing. Hu Anyan recalls that part of his desire to write was because he read "The Catcher in the Rye." "Today I won't say how good 'The Catcher in the Rye' is, but it gave me warmth and courage at one point in my life, and this influence is special, not only in the work itself, but also in my state at that time."
Hu Anyan wrote under many writers, among which his favorite writer was Chekhov.
By the time he later wrote non-fiction subjects, he already had some writing ability.
"It's probably 'take the best of the law, only get it'. If I had targeted nonfiction from the beginning, the result would have been 'to get the middle and get the bottom.'" ”
Ju'an Yan's time off writing did not last long, and the income from writing did not fully support his life. Later, he left home and did other jobs, such as bicycle shop clerk, online store owner, courier.
Hu Anyan on the way to deliver the express
At the beginning of 2020, at the suggestion of a friend, he wrote his experience as a courier in Guangzhou into an article "My Year on the Night Shift in Debang", which was hot on Douban and also attracted the attention of the outside world to Hu Anyan.
This article changed Ju Anyan's life.
02
Publication of the first book
Shortly after the article became popular on Douban, Peng Jianbin, the editor of "Copy Production", invited him to expand his article on Douban and publish it as a non-fiction work - before that, Hu Anyan did not have the conscious consciousness of writing "non-fiction".
This article was compiled into a booklet "Dispatches". At the same time, several artists from the art group "Thorn Paper" produced art installations based on Hu Anyan's writings.
After many publishing editors read the booklet, Hu received more invitations, and they encouraged him to expand the article to one more book.
In this process, Purui Culture's editor Puzhao has been quietly paying attention to Hu Anyan on Douban, and in 2021, Puzhao sent a bean mail to Hu Anyan. Earlier this year, his collection of non-fiction works, I Deliver Express in Beijing, was published by Pro-Rui Culture, and his writing and his writing received wider attention.
"I Deliver Express in Beijing" was published in March 2023
The reporter of Nanfeng Window contacted Puzhao, and the reporter asked why Hu Anyan moved you to start this publishing project, and he said that what impressed him the most was sincerity.
"From a literary point of view, his literary pursuits coincide with those of Anne Elno: truthfulness, his writing, authenticity moves me the most; From a personality point of view, his sincerity touched me the most. ”
Anyone who has interacted with Huan in any way, including one-way communication with him through reading works, will quickly discover this.
When the reporter of the South Wind Window contacted Hu Anyan, "I Send Express in Beijing" had just been listed.
He treats all questions without concealment, nor perfunctory, nor does he use clichés to "value" his answers.
He first told reporters that he was afraid of face-to-face conversations. If he could communicate in writing, he would feel more comfortable and answer better.
Ju Anyan
When asked about Hu Anyan's future work plans, he added his financial situation to the reporter, listing his current savings, income and expenses, detailed from meeting friends several times a month and how much meal he needs each time, to show that with his current financial ability, he does not need to look for a job for the time being.
After all, he wrote an article "It feels good not to go to work", and he also told reporters that if the economic situation allows, of course, it is best not to go to work.
Through rich life experiences and a long and profound inward exploration, Hu Anyan now practices an honest and simple life, and he no longer seems to have to hide anything from the world (except, of course, privacy).
This unreserved confession allowed the reporter to discover a certain respectable authenticity in Hu Anyan's personality after stripping away various labels.
It is in his writing that he gradually approaches this reality.
03
Use writing as a method
Hu Anyan didn't feel comfortable working at the bottom from the beginning.
He has mentioned many times that it is difficult to find a better job with his education. This is one of the reasons why he left Guangzhou to travel to other cities, because leaving Guangzhou does not have to face his former relatives and friends. It was only when he later returned to Guangzhou to work as a courier in Deppon that he no longer felt inferior to himself in manual work.
Reading and writing helped him transcend the limitations of his personal life and complete a change of thought.
Huan Yan express station unloading and sorting
When he can look at his life from the perspective of the nature of human nature and the reality of life, inferiority and narrow-mindedness seem unnecessary, and at the end of "I Deliver Express in Beijing", he says, "A life with resentment is not worth living." ”
In fact, Hu Anyan's writing is much more than a sample of the lives of low-level workers, and his reflections touch on the common plight of contemporary people, which is why many readers will say in comments that they find empathy in his books.
What Hu Anyan encountered as a manual worker may not be fundamentally different from the white-collar workers in the cubicle.
Hu Anyan recorded in the book that when he was working as a courier, he was used to quantifying his time cost, and the price of his labor was clearly marked, and his average "value" per minute was 0.5 yuan, which was his time cost.
In order not to lose money, he had to send out a piece every 4 minutes; Conversely, if it takes him 2 minutes to urinate, then the cost of his toilet is 1 yuan, if he calculates his lunch in this way, the value of the meal itself plus the time cost is 25 yuan, which is too luxurious for him, for this reason, his choice is not to eat lunch.
Stills from "Unthinkable"
During his time as a courier, he was used to looking at his life through an economic lens. This is exactly what Marx once proposed about the alienation of labor, and it happened to Hu Anyan.
It didn't just happen to Juan Yan.
In his twenty years of work, Hu not only experienced the hardships and hardships of the surface of the "unstable life" in the secular sense, but also penetrated the surface and considered the meaning of work and freedom, a pair of dialectical relationships that every modern person must face.
In the afterword to "I Deliver Express in Beijing," he tries to discuss, "I would say that freedom is a personal pursuit and self-actualization built on a highly developed sense of self, the spiritual content that truly distinguishes one person from another. ”
A still from "Dead Poets Society"
For Hu Anyan, writing connects the two ends of the dialectical spectrum, "Through writing, I have transcended to a certain extent the opposition between part-time work and freedom: in the limited choice and cramped reality, I feel more and more that many ordinary and timeless moments in life are more decisive than the troubled aspects of reality." ”
Hu Anyan constantly reflects and creates in himself and his own life, and after all, he will not completely become a slave to life, which is a transcendence from being trapped to freedom—at least trying, and this process has ultimately encouraged and inspired many people.
What followed was an interview with Hu Anyan, during which the Nanfeng window reporter approached him little by little.
South Wind Window: After graduating from junior college, you had a period of "traveling" life. I saw a Douban netizen commenting on you: "His attitude towards life is not to pursue a goal and result, but more to pursue the width and thickness of life." Do you agree with this statement? How do you allocate your time and energy to writing and working during your travels?
Hu Anyan: That Douban netizen's statement is indeed very interesting, in terms of results, he is right. But I did not give up the pursuit of purpose and results with this idea, but instead pursued the breadth and thickness of life. A lot of times, I'm just chasing my comfort zone.
My "wandering" is not really wandering, perhaps travel is a little closer. It has no relationship with writing competing for time and energy, and what really competes with writing for time and energy is work.
When I travel, I sometimes work part-time jobs, such as in Shanghai in 2013-2014, when I was very busy with work, and not only did I not write, but I even stopped reading. But in 2014-2015, when I was in Shimonoseki, because I chose a street stall, I had more time and energy, and I was able to write.
South Wind Window: Is the ability to observe life a talent? Can it get exercise?
Hu Anyan: I think it is a kind of talent, some people are sensitive, some people are not sensitive, some people are sensitive in these aspects, some people are sensitive in those aspects, everyone has different talents, just in the matter of observing life, everyone has different emphases and specialties, maybe no one has complete talent, but there is no one who is completely untalented.
I think that this ability can be exercised to a certain extent, first of all, to cultivate one's own awareness, and secondly, to combine the sensitive aspects of one's own nature.
Nanfeng Window: "My Year on the Night Shift in Debang" suddenly received so much attention on Douban, how did you react at first? How to treat the attention and comments of netizens?
Hu Anyan: At the beginning of the epidemic in 2020, because I didn't go to work, I registered a public account, and "My Year on the Night Shift in Debang" was actually first published on this public account, but only some friends I knew read it, and a few days later I forwarded it to Douban, and suddenly gained a blowout of attention.
At that time, my feeling was probably shocked, I didn't expect that this article had so many likes and forwards, and even many people rewarded, and the kindness and empathy of Douban netizens refreshed my understanding.
But in general, I was still uneasy in my heart, because I found that many of the bean friends who left me messages and sent me bean mails were not aware of my situation.
Douban netizens left a message to Hu Anyan
For example, most netizens who care about me, if they don't look through my diary posted on Douban, they are likely to mistakenly think that I have no education, have been engaged in manual labor, and write completely based on hobbies and talents.
I actually have a college diploma, and although the adult night diploma is not worth much, it is also a college diploma after all.
Secondly, I have not always been engaged in manual work, but I have only started doing manual work in recent years. My salary in Pinjun Express is about 7,000, and the company buys five insurances, and I feel that there may be many bean friends who give me tips, and their income is not as high as mine.
I felt like I had lied to them, and although I didn't mean to mislead, many people did misunderstand my situation.
So after that diary, I never gave any tips to subsequent diaries. My diary (and some of my previous diaries) also had a tip because I hadn't even received a tip before that, and I didn't think anyone would give a tip.
In addition, many people left messages saying that I was a natural writer, but I did not have a high talent in writing, after all, I had been writing for more than ten years, and I was not a newcomer to writing.
Excerpted from Hu Anyan's message under the article "I send express delivery in Beijing"
Nanfeng Window: What do you think of the term "low-level writing"? Have you read the works of some other writers who have been named in this genre, such as Wang Jibing, Xu Lizhi, Chen Nianxi and others? What do you think? Do the workers around you pay attention to low-level literature?
Hu Anyan: I don't think I'm doing "low-level writing," and I think that when some people use the word "low-level writing," the meaning of the expression itself doesn't hold true – any author can only represent himself, not his class.
Obviously, the label of the bottom cuts my writing.
I had a writer's conscious consciousness early on, but I never had a conscious awareness of the bottom, although I definitely belonged to the bottom.
It's like I'm a middle-aged person, but I don't have the self-consciousness of a middle-aged person. I am not a writer and I am out of the category of literature lovers, so I do not have the conscious consciousness of writers and literature lovers.
Ju Anyan
I don't have much opinion on the concepts of low-level writing, low-level literature, low-level writers, part-time literature, etc., just like the concepts of realism and modernism, there is no rigorous definition in itself, but we sometimes use these vague and suspicious nouns for the convenience of communication, because when they are placed in a specific context or context, both or more parties of communication can understand what they are referring to at that time, and eliminate the annoying expression of detailed definition each time, which is just a lazy expression tool.
I don't have any particular feelings or opinions about the words "bottom" and "worker."
I have read Chen Nianxi and Xu Lizhi's books, and Wang Jibing has only heard of them in recent months, and I have read a small number of his poetry selections on Douban. Wang Jibing is better than Xu Lizhi. I write in prose style, they all write poetry, the styles are different, it's hard to compare.
But Chen Nianxi and Wang Jibing both write well, they have written for many years, and they already have a relatively mature personal style. I think for writers, everyone has to be in their own category, so I definitely don't mind being in the same category as others.
As for the working class, as far as I have observed, it is not that they do not pay attention to "literature from the bottom", but they rarely read.
A still from "Ordinary World"
Nanfeng Window: Since the publication of the book, I learned that you have been invited to participate in many publicity activities and come out to the public, has it caused you any trouble? Have you ever felt happy and satisfied during the publication process? Where do they come from?
Hu Anyan: It is indeed troublesome, but it is really difficult for me to refuse the enthusiasm of some friends. The words of the text interview are less stressful for me, just like I communicate with you now, I will not be nervous or anxious.
I am mainly afraid of phone voice videos, such as the podcast recorded this afternoon, I probably dare not listen to it after cutting it out, because I was blank and incoherent for a while when I recorded it, and this is still in the case that the other party tells me in advance what I will ask, otherwise it will be worse.
But the interviews themselves have a boost to the sales of my new book, which is the only income I can expect this year, and whether or not these interviews can be published in the end, or whether they can have a sales promotion effect, at least I can make a little effort, not all of my editors to market.
But publishing the book itself doesn't seem to cause me anxiety and unease, and I'm glad that my writing has the opportunity to be published, whether it's fiction or other genres, such as non-fiction, which brings me readers and income, and I feel fortunate for that, because I know a lot of friends who write better than me, but don't have the opportunity to publish, and my luck is so good compared to them.
Of course, I also hope that my writing will become a humanistic inheritance, and publishing may obviously contribute to this wish.
"Heidi" stills "Heidi" stills
South Wind Window: What exactly does this humanistic spirit mean?
Hu Anyan: I told this in the serial of the black and blue public number, simply to say that the inheritance is touching and life feelings, initially I got warmth and courage from those writers I liked, I found that I was not alone in this world, the confusion, pain and despair I experienced have already been experienced, so I can not care what the people around me think of me today, although I can't integrate into them but I'm not alone, I hope that my writing will bring the same warmth and courage to some future readers. Writers who have illuminated my life include Wang Xiaobo, Salinger, Chekhov, Kafka, and so on.
Stills from "Forrest Gump"
South Wind Window: You mentioned that the previous low-level work was done out of the need for survival, not out of romanticization, or for the purpose of research, accumulation, and investigation. And for yourself who is engaged in manual labor to make a living, you have also had a stage of non-acceptance and lack of confidence. In "It Feels Good Not to Go to Work", you mentioned that you now calmly agree with the saying "no career is expensive", and no longer feel inferior because of your profession. I would like to ask, what role does writing play in your mindset transformation in this process?
Hu Anyan: I left Guangzhou in 2012, also because I couldn't find a good job in Guangzhou at that time, I was 33 years old that year, my work experience and education were not good for finding a job, and then I went to Yunnan to do property, and then transferred to a bakery as an apprentice, in fact, I can also do these jobs in Guangzhou, but after all I have past classmates and colleagues in Guangzhou, if I am touched by them, I will still feel sad and inferior, I couldn't overcome these psychology back then, and I deliberately cut off contact with all old friends. Perhaps it wasn't until I went to Deppon for the night shift in 2017 that I could almost stop caring about it and feel inferior to the physical work I was doing.
Ju Anyan's hands during physical work
"Career is not divided into noble" is my parents' education for me since I was a child, I believed this sentence when I was a child, but after stepping into society, I found that the vast majority of people do not think so, even so, I have never doubted this sentence, even if it is about idealism, I am just not strong enough, easily hurt by others, dare not assert my own and others contrary beliefs, and today, I will no longer be hurt because others ridicule me on this issue, if anyone looks down on me because of my profession, It wasn't my fault either, it was the other person's fault.
But then again, when I deliver express deliveries in Beijing, most of my customers, especially locals, are very affectionate and respectful to me. Those who have an arrogant or cold attitude towards me are those who are similar to me "North Drift". This may be "knowing etiquette in a cangxi, and knowing honor and disgrace with enough food and clothing".
In my process of overcoming low self-esteem, both reading and writing gave me confidence. Because of reading, thinking, writing and communicating, I found that many people who were "successful" than me were actually not better than me, and many people were inferior in character and intelligence, and when I saw this clearly, I gradually built up some self-confidence.
Ju Anyan's diary published on Douban
South Wind Window: Are you still looking for a job? Would you consider a career as an editor, journalist, freelance writer?
Hu Anyan: If someone introduces me to a job now, of course, it is good, but I actually don't like clerical work, I can't be an editor, a reporter, a copywriter, but I may accept that this depends on personal likes and dislikes, but the classification of "clerical" and "physical strength" is not my main consideration.
If the financial situation allows, I prefer not to work. So whether I will find a physical job in the future, this depends first of all on my financial situation, and secondly, it depends on what choices I have at that time, physical strength is not my primary consideration, I hope that the work content is what I like, if not, I will choose not disgusted.
South Wind Window: I have seen many readers mention that the dilemma you write about is not only in piecework work, but also in white-collar workers in the lattice, in the fashionable phrase of the moment, "everyone is a migrant worker"; In serious terms, the questions you think about are present and universal. Do you think there are commonalities between the pressures and dilemmas that appear in blue-collar and white-collar workers? Do you believe that your writing touches on the common circumstances of all modern people of this era?
Hu Anyan: I think that people living in the same era and in the same society, whether the nature of the work is white-collar or blue-collar, will definitely face common problems and situations; Those aspects of the difference may be more superficial, while the common aspects are more essential. I think my writing will touch on a lot of people's situations, but not everyone.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet
Editor|Wu Qing
Typesetting | Eight pounds
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