Hold the hand of the son, and be with the son.
Author: Insight Leyla
Marriage is a complex science.
How many partners, in the daily life of chickens flying dogs after marriage, from lover to stranger, from silk to parting.
But there are also people who can survive the triviality of firewood, rice, oil and salt, so that the relationship becomes thicker and longer in the years.
Valentine's Day is coming, read the love of 9 writers, and you will know how to run a good marriage.
1
Yang Wei & Qian Zhongshu
Love is a two-way way of giving
At the end of 1942, Qian Zhongshu suddenly asked his wife Yang Wei: "I want to write a long novel, do you support it?" ”
Yang Wei was naturally overjoyed, and she quickly urged her husband to start writing.
However, his family is busy and his work is not easy, and Qian Zhongshu has very little time to write every day.
So Yang Wei willingly worked as a stove maid and took over all the housework, just to let her husband write with peace of mind.
Two years later, "Siege" came out successfully and was sought after by countless readers.
Qian Zhongshu said in the preface: "This book was written for two years, and during the two years the world was sad and sad, and I repeatedly wanted to stop it.
Because Ms. Yang Wei blocked a lot of things for me, I was able to write it with a lot of baht. As usual, this book should be dedicated to her. ”
Tu Lei said: "Marriage is not based on easy talk, but on long-term behavior and giving. ”
Qian Zhongshu did the same for Yang Wei.
During the decades of staying with Yang Wei, Qian Zhongshu always got up early to make breakfast.
Toast, hot milk, black tea... He did all this carefully, just so that his wife could sleep in every day.
Two-way giving has made them a praiseworthy love story.
The older you get, the more you will understand that love can be a romantic relationship, but marriage must be an unreserved effort.
When you need it, I will share the storm and watch for happiness for you.
When I am tired, you love and care for me.
Between husband and wife, there is no need for a magnificent vow, and the deep affection that is implemented is the honey that recalls a lifetime.
2
Lin Huiyin & Liang Sicheng
Love is habitual tolerance
Liang Sicheng is a typical science student.
He doesn't talk much, doesn't joke much, and even has a bit of social fear.
On the contrary, Lin Huiyin is lively and flexible, and loves to socialize.
Every Saturday, Lin Huiyin will hold an event at home "Mrs. Living Room", inviting celebrities to drink tea and discuss academics.
It stands to reason that the restrained Liang Sicheng is not willing to attend such a noisy occasion.
But he would also sit on the sofa, sip his pipe, and nod his head and smile approvingly while listening to his wife's whimsical speech.
During their long marriage journey, Liang Sicheng gave Lin Huiyin as much respect and tolerance as possible, and Lin Huiyin also gave him the best feedback with a lifetime of companionship.
The Bible says, "Love is patience and kindness; Love is to believe in everything, hope in everything, and tolerate everything. ”
Husband and wife are different individuals, and differences in personality and habits are indispensable.
If you can't tolerate each other, most of them will leave the middle of the game.
Truly harmonious partners never force consistency, but accommodate each other's differences.
Know how to seek common ground while reserving differences, know how to respect and understand, in order to go to the white.
3
Barkin & Xiao Shan
Love is responsibility for each other
In 1936, Barkin became famous for his novel "Home" and often received letters from readers.
Xiao Shan is one of the readers.
They passed on the book for more than half a year, and then met at a Cantonese restaurant in Shanghai.
Xiao Shan fell in love with the calm Ba Jin at first sight, and her eyes were full of admiration and love.
For the girl's affection, Ba Jin is not unaware, but he does not dare to respond.
The situation is too chaotic, and he is afraid that Xiao Shan, who has just opened his emotions, will regret it for the rest of his life because of his ignorant decision.
In the face of Xiao Shan's confession, Ba Jin responded: "You are still young, once you consider immaturity, you will regret for life, and when you are mature and assertive, if you are still willing to be with me, I am willing to wait for you to grow up." ”
Since then, Ba Jin has kept his promise and silently waited for Xiao Shan's answer.
And Xiao Shan also went to Ba Jin's side after completing her studies, and the two spent the rest of their lives together.
In the era of heavy traffic, too many people easily start a relationship and give up easily.
But Bingxin said:
The most admirable thing about Barkin is his seriousness and single-mindedness in his attitude towards love and marriage.
The relationship between two people, in the end, is actually a sense of responsibility.
Because love will dissipate with the passage of time, only the sense of responsibility in the bones can withstand the test of time.
4
Hu Shi & Jiang Dongxiu
Love is appreciation from the heart
Among the Republican couples, Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu have always been a unique category.
Hu Shi is a well-known talent, but Jiang Dongxiu is a woman who has been wrapped up since childhood.
The two people who seem to be out of place, but under the arrangement of their parents, they spent their lives lovingly and lovingly.
To ask the secret of the love between the two, it is inseparable from two words: appreciation.
Jiang Dongxiu is not beautiful, her face is round, but Hu Shi said: "She is very virtuous and good at housework. ”
Jiang Dongxiu has little knowledge and can't read a few big characters, but Hu Shi said: "She has a low culture, but she loves to learn." ”
Jiang Dongxiu especially likes to play mahjong, but Hu Shi said: "She is very kind and knows how to fight righteousness and loose money." ”
For his wife, Hu Shi never spared praise.
Because of this, the two can hold the hand of their son and spend the white head together.
In reality, how many marriages, in the end, have nothing to say, all because husband and wife have become opponents who fight each other,
In the arena of marriage, exhaust your energy to be each other's bad critics.
Psychologist William James said: "The deepest human need is to feel appreciated." ”
Learn to discover the good of each other, find the brilliance of your lover in the details, and the road to marriage can be long.
5
Zhou Youguang & Zhang Yunhe
Love is a romantic ritual
When Zhou Youguang and his wife Zhang Yunhe just entered their marriage, a fortune teller said: You two will not live for ten years.
But they spent 70 years of happiness together, until they came to the end of each other's lives.
Someone once asked Elder Zhou for the secret of running a marriage, and he thought about it and told this story:
Every day at 10 a.m., they drink tea together.
When drinking tea, the two will definitely touch the cup, this action is called "raising the case and eyebrows".
At three or four o'clock in the afternoon, the two would drink coffee together.
When drinking coffee, I will touch the cup again and "raise my eyebrows" again.
Daily trivial things such as drinking tea and coffee have become full of ritual under the management of the two.
Many times, the reason why we feel that married life is boring and boring is often because of the lack of this sense of ritual.
"The Little Prince" says: "The sense of ritual is to make a certain day different from other days, to make a certain moment different from other moments." ”
When the hormones in passion fade and the freshness in love disappears, life falls into day-to-day tediousness.
Add a little ritual to life at the right time, create more small surprises, small romance, and the relationship will last for a long time.
6
Lin Yutang & Liao Cuifeng
Love is learning to bow your head
Lin Yutang was born into a family of pastors and has a humorous personality.
Liao Cuifeng is a typical lady with a gentle and elegant personality.
After getting married, Liao Cuifeng paid great attention to her personal image, dressed up carefully before going out, and her clothes had to be ironed.
And Lin Yutang is extremely disgusted with these formalized things, and he prefers to dress freely.
When two people with vastly different life habits are combined, it is inevitable to be noisy.
But every time the "artillery fire" ignited for a while, it would be quietly extinguished.
Because every time at this time, Lin Yutang will take the initiative to admit his mistake first.
He has two marriage creeds that he enshrines:
When the wife likes it, you have to follow her to like it, but when the wife is angry, you don't follow her angry.
It is better to say less than to say more, and it is better if there is one person who does not say it.
Between husband and wife, disagreements and disputes are inevitable.
If you have to fight for right and wrong in everything, it will only bring the relationship to the brink of breakdown.
Writer Yu Guangzhong said: "Home is a place of love, not reason, and husband and wife get along by compromise." ”
Give in to everything and stop at the point.
Learn to bow your head, and the days can pass more and more beautifully.
7
Sanmao & Jose
Love is a small blessing to find life
In 1974, Sanmao and her husband Jose set out to settle in the Sahara Desert.
Jose got a job in the local area, the salary was not high, and the couple often ate the last meal but not the next.
Once Sanmao's parents sent some fans from their hometown, and she immediately made an "ant on the tree" for Jose to eat.
Jose took a bite and wondered, "What?" It seems to be white yarn, or it seems to be plastic? ”
"Neither, it's the nylon thread you fished."
Jose was stunned: "Can this thing still be eaten?" ”
Sanmao said with a smile: "Chinese cooking is vast and profound, and you can turn anything into food. ”
Jose immediately praised Sanmao after hearing this: "You are so famous, if we open a restaurant, this dish will definitely sell at a good price!" ”
In the silent desert, the laughter of the two couples lingered in the air for a long time.
In life, there are always people who attribute the misfortune of marriage to various reasons.
But in fact, true happiness lies in whether you have a happy state of mind.
Get used to complaining to each other, get used to hanging your head, and the relationship will inevitably be dead.
Learn to explore surprises in the small things of daily life, so that no matter how poor your life is, you can be full of poetry and vitality.
8
Wang Xiaobo & Li Yinhe
Love is support without turning back
In 1984, Wang went to Pittsburgh to pursue a master's degree at the same university as Li Yinhe.
At that time, Wang Xiaobo had nothing on him, and Li Yinhe only had $400 a month for living expenses.
In order to maintain food and clothing, Li Yinhe went to the restaurant to work as a waiter, while Wang Xiaobo washed dishes in the back kitchen.
During that time, Wang Xiaobo was particularly annoyed: "The time for writing was delayed. ”
Li Yinhe found that Wang Xiaobo was not in the right mood and immediately refused to let him wash the dishes.
When Li Yinhe's mother found out, she was very displeased: "Which line is this?" ”
But Li Yinhe answered firmly: "Xiaobo must write novels, and literature is his life." I'm good enough to work alone. ”
It is precisely because of Li Yinhe's support that Wang Xiaobo put down everything to write with peace of mind and finally created "Golden Age", which has been famous since then.
I have heard a saying: "A good marriage is not a one-man show, but a crutch for each other and supporting each other." ”
When the lover is sloppy, he stretches out his hands without hesitation;
When the other party is hesitant, choose to support without hesitation.
Hold the hand of the son, and be with the son.
The most firm companionship can bring the longest warmth to each other.
9
Mo Yan & Du Qinlan
Love is to never leave rich or poor
In 1973, when Mo Yan was working as a worker in a cotton spinning factory, he fell in love with his handsome female colleague Du Qinlan.
After some confession, the two successfully married each other.
At that time, there were standard three-piece sets for marriage: a bicycle, a sewing machine, and a watch.
But at that time, Mo Yan was still a poor boy and couldn't afford these at all.
Faced with her husband's poor family situation, Du Qinlan never disliked it, but comforted Mo Yan: "As long as you are good to me." ”
Years later, Mo Yan became famous for his writing.
In the eyes of outsiders, his wife was nothing more than an illiterate rural woman, and many even persuaded him to divorce.
But Mo Yan said: "My love for my wife has nothing to do with academic status, but with the soul." ”
He took his wife from his hometown to his side and gave her the best care and love, and the two have loved each other until now.
There is a line in "The Alliance of Military Divisions" that says:
There is no greater happiness in this world than to have one person, share happiness and suffering, and never forget the original intention.
A truly long-lasting relationship is one that can withstand the trials of poverty and wealth.
I don't care when you have nothing; When I am old, you will not leave.
Mutual affection and solidarity are the best looks of love.
▽
Valentine's Day is coming, whether it is a single man or a loving couple, you may have had such doubts:
What is love? What is marriage?
In fact, love and marriage are like picking wheat in a field.
When you're in love, you may swing left and right, and you may hesitate because you always want to find the biggest ear of wheat.
But marriage is, even if you pick up an ordinary ear of wheat, hold it in your hand.
Because a good marriage, in addition to love, in addition to the righteousness of treating each other, the tacit understanding of not giving up, and the unforgettable kindness.
Treat love with sincerity and manage marriage with sincerity in exchange for years of mutual protection.
Give it a like, may someone know your warmth and coldness, and someone understand your sorrows and joys; May all those who love each other join hands to the whitehead.
Happy Valentine's Day!