For the rest of your life, learn to be alone and you win

Many people think that if a person does not even have friends, if he does not have anyone to accompany him, he is too pitiful, too desolate, and too lonely.

The emergence of such a cognition is actually confusing the concepts of loneliness and solitude.

Loneliness is a state, it is a state of a person's inner heart, which has nothing to do with the environment and has nothing to do with people.

Even if some people are in a group, even if they are surrounded by people, even if they have someone to accompany them no matter what they do, they will still feel lonely, and no one in this world understands themselves.

Solitude is a habit, a person who can get along with himself with ease and ease.

Even if a person listens to songs, even if a person goes to eat hot pot, even if it is to do things by themselves, no one accompanies them, but they still feel that their hearts are full.

Because they don't feel that their happiness is dependent on the group, they are alone with the spirit of heaven and earth, they are happy and alone.

Therefore, the person who can be alone must be extraordinary, because being able to block out the noisy sounds around him is an unusual ability in itself.

For the rest of your life, learn to be alone and you win.

When you're alone, you can enjoy a unique beauty

When readers first graduated, they felt that they must be gregarious when they first entered the workplace, otherwise they would be excluded.

So, when the company had dinner, she went; when she was going to go to the KTV to sing after eating, she also followed.

In fact, she doesn't like crowded places, and rather than singing, she prefers to stay at home, chase dramas, listen to songs, and don't trim the edges.

The beauty of being alone is irreplaceable at any time, because at this time we are just ourselves, there is no other role, not a clerk, not an old good person, and not an air bag.

Zeng Guofan said: "The reason why people are impetuous, hypocritical, and depressed is because they have selfish intentions and get rid of excessive selfish desires, so as to achieve the realm of "sincerity", and then stop their mental internal friction and reconcile with themselves." ”

There's nothing wrong with being alone, and some people find it hard to be alone because they've never enjoyed the beauty of being alone.

The comfort of doing what you love to do, the kind of repression that doesn't need to be quivered, the kind of letting go that you can focus on yourself.

These are all things that can only be enjoyed when a person is alone.

So, being alone is good, and you deserve it too.

When alone, you can feel the relaxation that comes from the depths of your soul

When we are with a group of people, we need to pay attention to our own words and deeds, and we must also pay attention to the changes in other people's emotions.

If the other party is sad, but we say a happy thing, the other party will think that we are schadenfreude;

In case we act inadvertently, it is just a harmless joke, but the other party feels that we are offending each other and looking down on each other.

When interpersonal relationships are handled, it is not so easy, it is not good to say more, it is not good to say less, it is difficult to grasp a proper sense of proportion.

But when you are alone, you don't need to have these concerns:

We can do whatever we want, either by talking to ourselves or by "lonely patients" who don't say a word.

How happy we come, there is no need to look at other people's eyes, at this time we enjoy a person's world, enjoy the relaxation from the depths of the soul.

As García Márquez wrote in One Hundred Years of Solitude, "The best state of a person is to be alone, to be quiet, not to deal with the emotions of others, and not to deliberately judge the minds of others." ”

When you're alone, you can get to know yourself more clearly

In the book "The Ragtag Crowd", there is a truth that is particularly well said: "The feelings in the group will be infinitely exaggerated, and people will be attracted to such feelings, and in the end, most people will choose to be in the group." ”

It is true that there is a group of people in this world, they like lively scenes, where more people go, if they are left alone one day, it will be a kind of mental delay for them.

Such a person can only live in a group, follow the crowd of others, cater to the rhythm of others, never know who they are, and do not know what they want.

And there is a kind of person in this world, they are used to being alone, they like to be alone in everything, and they don't like to integrate into the group for the sake of hilarity.

They don't like to visit other people's homes for the sake of so-called socializing, and they don't want others to disturb their quiet lives.

Such a person is an outlier in the eyes of others, after all, if there is no friend in this world, it should be an incredible thing.

But in fact, only such a person has great wisdom.

Because they don't need to be influenced by other people's voices in noisy environments.

They enjoy solitude, so they can get close to their inner selves, and at the same time, they can gain inner peace and tranquility without being disturbed. Therefore, such a talent can know themselves more clearly.