Jiaodong area about the Tomb of the Qingming Dynasty, just like the Winter Solstice and the Spring Festival, pay attention to a lot, the difference is that the winter solstice and the Spring Festival, unmarried girls can be in the mother's home, married girls can not return to the mother's home. The Qingming Festival is that whether married or unmarried, women cannot go to the grave of their deceased relatives on the day of the Qingming Festival. The daughter-in-law is still like this, and the son-in-law, as a person with a foreign surname, can't go in and out casually on some special days. I myself really do not approve of these old customs without any reason, how to customs are customs, whether there is a reason or not, or to follow, otherwise there will be many people laughing at you, first of all, your brothers will not be willing.
I have two younger brothers, and my younger sister pays great attention to these old traditions in the countryside, and thinks that on the day of sacrifice, the daughter-in-law goes back to the grave, that is to look down on the mother's brothers, only the mother's family does not have a brother's family, and the daughter-in-law goes back to the grave. In order to avoid conflicts between brothers and sisters, I chose to go to the graves of my mother and grandmother every year on the eve of the Qingming Festival.
My mother and grandmother had been dead for many years, and as two of my dearest women, it was impossible for me not to visit them. Every year on the Qingming Festival and the Winter Clothing Festival, I will go with my husband to the graves of my mother and grandmother, of course, I do not rush to the qingming festival and the winter clothes festival, but a few days in advance.
On March 27th, the fifteenth day of the second month of the lunar calendar, at four o'clock in the afternoon, my husband and I took two bouquets of flowers to visit my mother and grandmother. The reason why we chose the fifteenth day is also because we have a local exquisite: if both parents are dead, they must choose to go to the grave on two days, and if only one of them dies, they must go to the grave on a single day. This is the rule of jiaodong countryside, married girls go back to their mother's house to worship their ancestors, we must remember this custom, otherwise people will say that you are disrespectful.
Qingming on the grave, according to our rural elderly here, the weather is warmer, the ancestors should also take off the cotton clothes to change into single clothes, at this time, the descendants of the future generations will send a change of seasonal clothes of the currency. However, there is no need to rush to worship the ancestors on the day of the Qingming Festival, four or five days before and after the Qingming Festival, any day can be, because during this time, the gates of heaven are open, no matter what sacrifices are brought, the ancestors underground will receive it.
I don't believe that heaven or earth is open, I just want to visit my mother and grandmother. According to our local rules, women can't go to the grave during the Spring Festival, so I can only go on the Qingming Festival and the Winter Clothing Festival. Every time I went to the cemetery, I would bring pastries, fruits and flowers that my mother and grandmother liked to eat, and symbolically press a few coins at the head of the grave, never burning any offerings.
Some people say that there is no point in worshiping ancestors in this way, and the relatives under the ground cannot receive the sacrifices, and I believe that my mother and grandmother will definitely receive the fruit snacks I brought, and they will certainly be able to receive my deep thoughts.
Soon it is Qingming Festival, and I wish my mother and grandmother in heaven all the best.