Two years ago, I gave birth to a second child, it was a son, the eldest was a girl, others came to congratulate, all said it was really good, a son and a daughter made up a good word, I had a polite smile on my face, but my heart was bitter and could not say.
Two children, let me scramble, when I gave birth to my daughter, I did not feel at all, my daughter is particularly well-behaved, when she is in the middle of the month, she only gets up once a night, and when she is half a year old, she can not get up all night.
Her bedtime and my husband and I did not deliberately arrange, people naturally began to take a bath at 8 o'clock, went to the toilet at 8:30 o'clock, and went to bed on time at 9 o'clock.
It may be that my daughter is too good to raise, let me have an illusion, think that it is my credit, feel that it is another one, I also cope with it, when my daughter was three years old, I accidentally became pregnant, and I thought that the two children had grown up and had a care, so I decided to give birth.
The arrival of the second eldest made me really have no life, his life was extremely irregular, he didn't know what was going on in the month, every day was crying at night and didn't sleep, my husband was holding him until two or three o'clock in the middle of the night every day.
I thought of a lot of ways, and even superstitiously posted "upside down language" (commonly known as pasting on the telephone pole, let the passers-by read it, you can change the child's black and white upside down habit), but it still has no effect.
Waiting for the confinement is not easy to sleep time is normal, but it is particularly sticky, every day to hold, sleep can not put down, engaged in I have no time to idle, can not do anything.
One day I needed to write something in a quiet environment, and suddenly I found that I didn't have two minutes of silence all day, and I had to wait for him to fall asleep, but he fell asleep, and I was tired, and before I could do anything else, I was already asleep.
He is finally a year old, and not only do I not have time to do my own thing, but I also have to deal with the contradictions between him and my sister, grabbing toys, grabbing good food, and fighting between the two without a word...
I am really about to collapse, so when is it a head, the information age, maybe the mobile phone usually listens to my nagging a lot, one day picked up the mobile phone, opened Jingdong, directly recommended to me a book "Superman Mother Time Management", I saw this name, I can't help but buy.
Curious, why other people have five children, can still learn so many courses to become so good, I only have two children, I feel that in life except for the daily life of children, the rest can not do anything, let alone study.
After the book was bought, I first read the author, the author is Wang Xinyue and Jiang Zhongyang, Wang Xinyue: positive discipline lecturer, the only Chinese mother tutor of the international public welfare organization Mops, the first mother coach of the Erikson International Coaching Association, and the professional tutor trusted by millions of mothers, helping 10,000+ mothers start an efficient self-discipline and open life.
Zhongyang Jiang: Graduated from Trinity Western University in Canada with a Master's Degree in Business Leadership; Senior Family Education Instructor; has been engaged in team and individual leadership development training for many years.
Seeing the author's profile, I was very curious, how people do it, I can't wait to start reading, when I first started reading, I felt very bad, the first chapter tells us why we are so busy after becoming a mother, I think this is also used to say, children are not controlled, things do not come according to their own ideas, and there are disputes with the older generation...
Seeing the back only to find that the front is to raise the problem, the back is to solve the problem, we only know clearly where our own problem is, in order to solve the problem well.
Giving up perfection is the only way to save yourself
When I give birth, I also want to be a perfect mother, the child's things must strive to be perfect, can not allow a little mistake, if there is a mistake, I will be particularly self-blame, which leads to a waste of my time, but if in order to save time to make things less perfect, I can not pass the heart of the pass.
After knowing that after reading the book, I understand that perfection is the biggest lie, the things in the world are originally full of water overflowing, the moon is full of loss, sometimes many things you think are perfect when you do it, but the result is not necessarily perfect.
Everyone has a time when they don't want to do anything, let go of themselves, and let them go.
Planning is very necessary
I arranged everything for my child and never made a plan because I felt that my child was out of control, she could eat whenever she wanted, and she could sleep whenever she wanted.
After reading the book, I found that many things can be carried out according to the plan, such as the premise of when to go to bed is to stipulate what time they go to bed, and then to develop good eating habits, eat on time, never feed, etc. The book proposes that the plan is the way to solve these problems.
Smart Five Principles, set achievable goals
The Smart principles are: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound.
By setting your own goals according to these 5 principles, you can let yourself see the goal and then work towards the goal. Believe that you can be so dazzling yourself.
We are all first-time mothers, of course, it is impossible to do everything well, we are all in the continuous groping to become a good mother, learn from the experience of others, so that we can become a better self at the same time as becoming a good mother.