#问世间情为何物, what is love #
Ask the world, what is love, orthodox life and death? This question that Yuan hao asks seems to have become a question that will never have a standard answer: there are a thousand kinds of love in a thousand people's minds.
Yuan Hao asked the name of this poem called "Yanqiu Ci", it is that on his way to Beijing to catch the exam, he met a person who caught a big goose, originally Zhang Net only caught one big goose, but the other saw his companion arrested, mournful, and crashed into the ground and died. Yuan Haoqing was grateful for this, so he bought the bodies of two geese and buried them on top of Fenshui, built a stone as a grave, named it "Yanqiu", and made this poem:
Ask the world, what is love, and what is the promise of life and death?
The sky is south and the north are double flyers, and the old wings have been cold and hot several times.
Rejoice in fun, parting from suffering, there are even more idiot children.
Junying has a word: The clouds of the thousands of miles, the twilight snow of a thousand mountains, only the shadow goes to whom?
Hengfen Road, lonely drums, desolate smoke is still flat.
Summoning some souls, the mountain ghosts cry out in the wind and rain.
Heaven is also jealous, unbelieving, warblers swallows are yellow earth.
Throughout the ages, in order to stay for the rioters, they sang and drank bitterly, and visited the Yanqiu.
Therefore, please note that the object of the poet's writing is not actually a person, but a goose, so many people on the Internet will write: "Straight (human) life and death promise", which is actually problematic. Of course, this is a digression, back to the main topic, what is love?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="40" > love is an encounter. </h1>
We have all been young, and we may all fantasize about what our future lovers should be like: what kind of appearance, what kind of temperament, what kind of occupation, etc., we may make a list in our hearts, one two three four five write clearly, the future he/she will be like this and this... But the result? You and I have the answer in our hearts.
It's often the case that you have countless rules and regulations in your heart, and then you meet him/her, and then the requirements of those that were once in your heart instantly disintegrate, and you tell yourself in your heart that this life is him, and that he is far from your fantasy, or even completely opposite. But love is so unreasonable, rampage into your life, making you powerless to resist and rejoicing. This is not what you are after, nor is it destined to be arranged for you by Heaven.
As Maugham writes in his novels: I know you're stupid, frivolous, and empty-minded, and yet I love you; I know your intentions, your ideals, you're snobbish and vulgar, and yet I love you; I know you're a second-rate, and yet I love you.
There is contingency and there seems to be inevitability, so I can only say that love is an encounter.
I can't list the reasons I love you, but if I could, maybe one day I'll fall in love with someone else for the same reason. I love you just because you're you and I met you!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="27" > love needs boundaries</h1>
The boundaries I am talking about here have a twofold meaning:
1. The proportion of love in a person's life should have boundaries, and love cannot be allowed to occupy all.
According to Confucianism, the five luns of a person (father and son have relatives, husband and wife are different, the elderly and young are orderly, the monarch has righteousness, and the friend has faith) is actually a person's relationship in social life, including father and son, brother, friend, monarch (the current society can be understood as the state and individuals, or leaders and subordinates) and husband and wife. Love and marriage are only part of a person's social relationship, but it can never be all, we advocate fully committed love, but the meaning of full dedication should be to give the part of life emotion about love to the right person, rather than trapping all of a person's emotions. Otherwise, how should parents, brothers and friends get along, and don't these need to pay affection?
Moreover, we should note that no matter what is said in the middle, the couple is different, and this "don't" is the second meaning I want to talk about:
2. There should be boundaries in the process of lovers getting along: I love you, but I am still me!
In 2010, there was a Thai movie "Eternity", about a pair of lovers who were discovered, the woman's husband punished them very specially, using chains to lock the arms of the two people together, and the two could not be separated from each other no matter what they did. At first, the two didn't even think it was a punishment, it was simply a matter of heaven and heaven, but what was the result? Men want to read, women want to go out; women want to rest, men want to applaud love; one person wants to go to the toilet, another person doesn't want to be accompanied, and so on, these are the trivialities that are enough to kill the love that is bound all the time. Soon after, the woman committed suicide and the man went mad. Interested friends can go to see it, this is a film worth watching and thinking about.
Once they were you and me
Later they raised an eyebrow
The film quotes some verses from Gibran's Prophet, which actually talks about the issue of boundaries in love marriage:
Love one another, but do not make love a shackle;
And make love a sea of undulating seas between the shores of your two souls.
You two should fill each other's cups, but don't suck from the same cup.
You two have to deliver bread to each other, but don't eat a piece of bread.
Singing, dancing, entertaining, but doing their own thing;
It is important to know that the strings are each tight, although playing a piece of music together.
Be heart-to-heart, but not possess each other. For only the hand of "life" can contain the hearts of both of you.
Stand up with each other, but don't cling to each other.
It should be noted that the pillars of the temple also stand separately. Oak and pine trees also do not grow in each other's shadows.
So, if you want your love to last longer, give the other person space and give yourself boundaries.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="51" > there is no perfect love, only the process of pursuing better. </h1>
There is no one in this world who is a perfect husband or wife, and there is no perfect love, and some are just the process of embracing each other.
There is a passage in the Bible about love: Love is eternal patience and kindness. Love is not jealousy. Love is not boastful, not crazy, not shy. Don't ask for your own benefit. Don't get angry easily. Do not count the evil of man. Don't like injustice. Only like the truth. Be inclusive in everything. Believe in everything. Hope for all things. Be patient in all things. Love never ends. Of course, love here is not limited to love, but it definitely applies to love. The last sentence, love is never ending, this is our good wish, but also the goal of pursuit, then how to do it, that is: all things inclusive, all things believe, all things hope, all things patience.
So, what exactly is love? Three-sentence summary:
I love you because you are you;
I love you, but I'm still me;
Love makes us better us.