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On the podium of the University of Hamburg, Germany, there is a Chinese female professor who is simply open.
Cao Qian's name is down-to-earth enough, right?
Don't be fooled, people are experts in German literature, and Heine is the first to talk about it.
There are also the standard configurations of life winners: career, love, family, beauty.
But wait!
What?
She has been out of touch with her parents for 17 years?
She didn't come home when her parents were suffering from cancer?
This plot reversal is too magical!
What made this "other people's child" choose such an extreme way?
Let's rewind the clock to Hamburg, Germany in 2020 and see what kind of life this "other people's child" is living.
The name Cao Qian is well-known at the University of Hamburg.
On the podium, she is simply a walking scholarly book, and German literature comes as soon as she opens her mouth.
The students said that taking her class was like listening to a wonderful talk show, which was both knowledgeable and not boring.
After class, Cao Qian became a good wife and mother in seconds, which is simply a textbook for winners in life.
Her marriage to her German husband is as sweet as a fairy tale, envious of others.
There is also that cute little padded jacket, which can only be exchanged for virtue in the previous life.
But wait! Don't be fooled by the superficial glamour.
Cao Qian's heart is actually a lively empty shell, looking at the infinite scenery, but it is actually very empty.
Every time she sees her colleagues on video calls with their families, she "chuckles" in her heart.
It's been 17 years, and she has almost forgotten the voice of her parents, how does this feel "heart-piercing".
Sometimes Cao Qian secretly thinks: Are your parents okay now?
Have you forgiven me for being an unfilial girl?
But soon she would throw these thoughts out of her mind, as if she would escape the guilt in her heart.
Cao Qian often thinks about what life would be like now if she hadn't chosen to break off the relationship so "willfully" back then?
Will she be like her Chinese colleagues, video chat with her parents every day and share the bits and pieces of life?
But every time this thought pops up, she will think of the past events that suffocated her, and then tell herself: Isn't the current life exactly the "freedom" she has been pursuing?
But why did she wake up in the middle of the night because of a dream about home?
Why does her heart involuntarily pinch when she sees the back of an old man on the street?
These questions were like a thorn in her seemingly perfect life.
Cao Qian's life is like a cup of coffee with too much sugar added to it.
On the surface, it looks very sweet, but when you drink it, you always feel that something is missing.
The missing "what" is probably the family affection that keeps parting.
Speaking of Cao Qian's unknown past, it is simply a "Dragon Mother Cultivation Story".
In a small village in Liaoning, Cao Zhaogang and Liu Yuhong have higher expectations for this only daughter than Mount Everest.
Cao Qian has been labeled as "someone else's child" since she was a child, and the pressure is great.
Learn? You must be the first in the class, otherwise you will wait to be criticized.
Cao Qian scored 98 points in a math test, and it is definitely a good result to be celebrated by filling the table in someone else's house.
But in the Cao family, this score triggered a "world war".
Cao Qian still remembers that her father was so angry that his face turned green, and the taste of that slap still hurts a little when he thinks about it now.
To be honest, this kind of education method is "suffocating".
After-school time? Don't even think about going out to play, Cao Qian's childhood is an infinite cycle of "home-school-home".
Friends ask her out to hang out? I'm sorry I have to do my homework.
In fact, what kind of homework is it, it is clearly the "involution buff" added to her by her parents.
This kind of life is simply removing the word "happy" from the dictionary.
The adolescent rebellion came unexpectedly, and exploded in Cao Qian's heart like a bomb.
She began to crave freedom and to play carefree like her peers.
But every time she tried to rebel, all that awaited her was harsher discipline.
She began to feel like a "trophy of honor" for her parents, rather than a flesh-and-blood person.
It's worse than being locked in a cage.
In the year of the college entrance examination, Cao Qian thought that she could finally escape from this "cage".
She enrolled herself in a college far from home, fantasizing about a new life.
But the surprise turned into a fright - her willingness was changed!
It turned out to be Liaoning Normal University at the doorstep of the admitted.
This news is even more devastating than being struck by lightning.
At that moment, Cao Qian felt that the whole world had collapsed.
For the first time, she yelled at her parents, asking them why they were doing this.
But in exchange for only scolding her parents, saying that she is not sensible, saying that they are all for her good.
This kind of "for your good" is even more speechless than "beating is kissing, scolding is love".
At that moment, Cao Qian made up her mind: I must leave this place, the farther away the better.
This decision was like a seed that took root in her heart and eventually grew into a towering tree.
Recalling this past, Cao Qian's mood is as complicated as a hodgepodge.
There is resentment towards parents, there is a desire for freedom, and nostalgia for childhood.
These emotions are entangled and become an untiring knot.
In 2000, Cao Qian finally got her wish and stepped on a plane to Germany.
At this moment, she felt like a prisoner who had been unchained, and she could finally breathe the air of freedom.
But what is the price of freedom? It was the parents who raised 70,000 yuan.
This money is like a hot potato in Cao Qian's heart.
On the one hand, she is grateful for her parents' dedication; On the other hand, she felt that the money was like an invisible rope that bound her tightly to the past.
This kind of contradictory mood is even more uncomfortable than eating bitter melon.
Studying in Germany is not a "magical story of study abroad".
Language, culture, and economy, each level is like a mountain, which makes Cao Qian breathless.
Sometimes she even felt like a bird that had strayed into a foreign land, so lonely that she wanted to cry.
But Cao Qian felt unprecedented freedom.
No one restrains her like a shackle anymore, and she is free to organize her life, meet new people freely, and explore the world freely.
This freedom is like an oasis in the desert, and Cao Qian can't help but want to gulp down the water.
In 2004, 23-year-old Cao Qian finally entered the workplace.
It was in this year that she made a life-changing decision – to cut ties with her family.
This decision is like a death sentence for one's past.
She told herself that this was the only way to complete freedom.
But is that really the case?
Every time she sees her colleagues talking to her family on the phone, Cao Qian feels a pang of heartache.
It felt like someone had been stabbed in the heart.
But she will soon brainwash herself: this is the life I want, isn't it?
This kind of self-hypnosis is even more deceptive than "I don't like you".
Cao Qian's life is like a silent movie without dubbing.
On the surface, it looks exciting, but it always feels like something is missing.
The missing "what" may be the family bond that was severed by her own hands.
Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night and feel like a falling leaf, not knowing where to go.
But Cao Qian still insisted on her choice.
She told herself that this was the price of growth.
But does growth really come at such a heavy cost?
This question was like a thorn in Cao Qian's heart, making her feel a faint pain from time to time.
Cao Qian's life seems to be as calm as water, but the inner turmoil has never stopped.
One day, she received an unexpected assignment: to return to China to participate in a Sino-German cooperation project.
The news was like a bomb, and it exploded with a "boom" in her heart.
In the 12 days after returning to China, Cao Qian was like acting in a spy war drama.
She carefully avoided all possible opportunities to connect with her family for fear of being discovered.
Every time she passed by a familiar street, her heart would involuntarily beat faster.
It feels like you're playing a thrilling game of peek-a-boo.
But when she sat alone on the plane back to Germany, her heart was full of contradictions and uneasiness.
The white clouds outside the window couldn't hide the gloom in her heart.
She began to question herself: Is this really the right thing to do?
Seventeen years have passed, and Cao Qian's parents have gone from hope to despair.
They were sick and didn't even know where their only daughter was.
It's like groping in the dark, but you can't find an exit.
In 2021, they passed away one after another, and they closed their eyes forever with thoughts and regrets for their daughter.
This news was like a heavy punch that hit Cao Qian in the heart.
She finally realizes that she has lost not only family affection, but also the last chance to say goodbye.
Cao Qian, you have won your career and love, but what you have lost is the most precious family affection.
Is this gamble really worth it?
When you stand at the crossroads of life, where should you go?
Life is like a marathon, what we pursue should not only be the medal at the finish line, but more importantly, the scenery and companionship along the way.
Cao Qian's story teaches us that in our quest for freedom, we should not forget those who have given us love, even if it can suffocate us.
Perhaps true freedom is not about escaping, but about finding a balance between understanding and inclusion.
If Cao Qian could be more brave and communicate openly with her parents, would the result be different?
I'm afraid this question can only become an eternal regret in her heart.
There is no perfect script in life, and everyone stumbles in their own story.
But if we can learn to understand and be tolerant, we may be able to avoid a repeat of tragedies like Cao Qian's.
After all, there is no standard answer to the question of family affection, only careful management.
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