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In the journey of life, the companionship of a partner is the most precious and warm existence. However, when people enter their old age, they have to face the heavy blow of widowhood, and their lives have changed dramatically. At this difficult time, some words, even if they are churning in the heart, are better rotten in the stomach, because when they are said to the outside world, they often do not get the empathy and understanding they expect, but may bring more harm and trouble to themselves.
1. The sadness after being widowed, no one empathizes with you, and if you say it, it is a second injury to yourself
When the lover who has been with you for many years suddenly leaves, the kind of grief that goes deep into the bone marrow is difficult for others to truly empathize. Although friends and family may offer comfort and sympathy at first, as time goes on, everyone will return to their own life. For widowed seniors, the pain can spread in the heart for a long time.
If you keep pouring out your sadness and pain to the outside world, you may get some comforting words and warm hugs at first, but over time, people will gradually lose patience due to the busyness of life and their own exhaustion. There may even be people who feel that you are too caught up in grief to extricate yourself. Every time I confide, the response I get becomes more and more bland, even indifferent, which is undoubtedly a secondary injury to myself.
Moreover, expressing grief excessively can also trap oneself in a negative emotional cycle, unable to truly get out of the haze and start a new life. True healing often requires oneself to slowly accept the reality in the passage of time, learn to live with grief, and turn the longing for the lover into the driving force of life, rather than blindly seeking understanding and comfort from the outside.
Second, the rest of the money, there is no need to show it, if you talk about it to the outside world, you will inevitably be stared at and jealous
After widowhood in later life, the family's property status may change. Perhaps in the process, you will inherit a certain amount of property or have a certain amount of savings. However, it is never wise to publicize the details of the money.
In real life, money is often the source of conflict and jealousy. When you reveal your wealth to the outside world, it is inevitable that some people with ulterior motives will start to make up their minds. They may borrow money from you under various pretexts or try to obtain your property through various means. Even without such extreme cases, there will be estrangement and contradictions in interpersonal relationships due to the jealousy of others.
In addition, showing off your money can also pose a security risk to yourself. Criminals may target you because they know that you have a certain amount of property, putting your life and property at risk. Therefore, when it comes to money, it is best to keep a low profile, quietly guard your wealth, and let life be spent in peace.
Third, the ugly thing about my wife before her death was originally a family ugly, and when I said it to the outside world, outsiders would gloat
Every marriage and every family will inevitably have some unknown contradictions and problems. When the spouse is alive, these things may be resolved and digested within the family. However, once the wife passes away, publicizing the ugly things of his life to the outside world is not only disrespectful to the deceased, but also brings unexpected consequences to himself.
For outsiders, they often don't really care about your family and life, and just use these things as after-dinner conversations. When you publicize your family's scandals, they may show sympathy and understanding on the surface, but in fact they are gloating on their hearts and will even spread the word about it and damage your family's reputation.
Moreover, telling the ugly things about my wife will also affect the feelings and dignity of my children. Family unity and harmony are important supports for later life, and if this harmony is destroyed because of one's own impulses, it will bring more pain and loneliness to one's later life.
Fourth, the loneliness of life can only be carried by oneself, and no one can understand it to the outside world, and it will only be more lonely
Life after widowhood is undoubtedly full of loneliness and hardship. I used to have the company and care of my wife, but now I have to face all kinds of challenges in life alone. However, no matter how difficult life is, it is difficult to truly understand one's loneliness and suffering.
Everyone has their own lives and worries, and it can be difficult for others to fully empathize with the pain and loneliness you are experiencing. When you confide in them, they may give some comfort out of politeness, but it can be difficult to fundamentally change your situation. Moreover, overemphasizing your loneliness may also cause the people around you to gradually move away from you, because no one wants to be immersed in negative emotions all the time.
On the contrary, learning to face the loneliness of life with strength and striving to find joy and support in life is the key to getting out of trouble. You can develop some hobbies, make some like-minded friends, or participate in community activities to make your life more fulfilling. Through their own efforts and positive attitudes, they gradually come out of the shadow of loneliness and regain their confidence and joy in life.
Fifth, the plan for the rest of his life was discussed at home, and he talked to the outside world, and others suggested a lot of troubles
After being widowed, how to plan for the future life is a question that requires serious thinking and decision-making. However, telling the rest of your life about your plans to go public often attracts too much advice and interference.
Everyone has their own ideas and values of life, and the advice given by outsiders is often based on their own position and experience, and may not really be suitable for you. Too many suggestions will make you confused and tangled, not knowing how to choose, and instead create more worries and stress for yourself.
Moreover, if you disclose your plans too early, you may be forced to change them due to external factors. For example, some ill-intentioned people may try to influence your decisions for their own benefit, making your life passive. Therefore, it is best to consult with your children or close family members within the family to make a plan that meets your actual situation and wishes, and then firmly implement it.
In old age, widowhood is one of the most painful experiences in life. Learn to protect yourself and cherish your emotions, possessions, and life during this difficult time. Some words, not to say them, are a kind of protection for oneself, but also a respect for the past life. Let us face the challenges of life with wisdom and strength, find strength in loneliness, and hope in difficulties, so that our later life can still bloom with our own brilliance.
Over the years, everyone has been experiencing loss and growth. When the grief of widowhood comes, we need to give ourselves time and space to heal and re-examine the meaning of life. In this process, keep a sober and rational, bury those words that should not be said deep in your heart, meet the future life with a positive attitude, and believe that after experiencing wind and rain, you can still usher in your own rainbow.
In short, when people are widowed in their old age, they must learn to be cautious in their words and deeds and guard their inner world. Don't expect the outside world to fully understand and share your pain, but rely on the strength of yourself and your family to slowly get out of the predicament and regain balance and happiness in life. I hope that every elderly person who has experienced the pain of widowhood can find their own peace and tranquility in their later life.
Author: Lao Pang
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