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Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Mom and Dad read intensively

2024-04-24 22:39Posted in Jiangxi Parenting Field Creator

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Author: Xiang Bei (Parent Intensive Reading Author)

"Can you stop nagging, aren't you annoying?"

"I've had enough, stay away from me and get out!"

"Do you have any control over what I do, and are you still free?"

……

The words of rebellion are familiar to many parents.

Especially in adolescence, children are rebellious, difficult to manage, have a bad temper, and often talk back to their parents.

Li Meijin, a famous psychologist, once said: "Every psychological or behavioral problem of a child is related to the behavior of parents and the way parents educate them." ”

In many cases, behind the child's rebellion, the promotion of parents is indispensable.

Parents should not do the following 3 behaviors to help their children go through adolescence smoothly.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Always denying children and hurting their self-esteem

Qi Mingyue of the TV series "In the Name of Family" grew up in her mother's negation since she was a child.

When buying clothes, Qi Mingyue picked the white and black she liked, and her mother was full of disgust when she saw it, thinking that white was not resistant to dirt, and black was not bright, accusing her of not picking clothes.

Qi Mingyue took another pink one, and when her mother asked her if she liked it, she replied tremblingly, "It's okay." ”

Unexpectedly, my mother said that she was not assertive.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

In the eyes of others, Qi Mingyue is the class leader with excellent grades, but her mother always compares her with the first place.

No matter how big or small it is, all of them are denied, Qi Mingyue's confidence has been hit again and again, and she has accumulated a lot of grievances in her heart, and she has an inferior and sensitive personality.

In order to escape from her mother's shackles, Qi Mingyue, who did not study law and had always been a good girl, finally broke out on her rebellious side.

During the college entrance examination, she filled out one less answer sheet and confronted her mother in such a self-destructive way.

There is no doubt that her mother loves her, but she did it in the wrong way without knowing it, which brought huge psychological damage to Qi Mingyue and finally made each other uncomfortable.

Children always grow up in the accusation and suppression of their parents, and will not only become inferior and rebellious, but also be greatly affected in their later lives.

The reporter went to the prison to interview a convict and asked what caused him to make mistakes over and over again.

It turned out that when the criminal wanted to be a scientist when he was a child, he told his father with joy, but he was slapped by his father and laughed at him for not dreaming.

This incident hit the criminal very hard, he lost interest in learning, dropped out of school, wandered on the streets, and finally became a habitual thief.

In the eyes of parents, it may be an unintentional denial, like an invisible knife, engraved in the child's heart.

No matter how optimistic the child is, he will become unconfident, and no matter how well-behaved, he will plant the seeds of rebellion, which will explode one day.

Even became depressed, living in the shadows for the rest of my life, and it was difficult to get out.

The philosopher James once said, "Appreciation can make a child grow into a towering tree, and belittling can make a child wither and deform." ”

Many parents believe that repressive education can make children obedient and motivated, but they don't know that it will only dampen their enthusiasm and cause low self-esteem and rebellion.

Don't always compare your child with others, fail to meet the requirements, and point fingers and cold words if you don't do a good job.

Don't be stingy with that word of encouragement and praise, it will always be more powerful and useful than a derogatory word.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

is always arguing about right and wrong, intensifying the contradictions between the two sides

"Do you know you're wrong?"

"If you don't apologize, don't come back!"

"It's clear that you're wrong, and you have to quibble. ”

……

Many families have such a phenomenon, as soon as the child makes a mistake, they talk about right and wrong, discuss right and wrong, and force them to apologize.

Seeing such a story, the daughter threw the banana on the ground, and the father accused her that she had to pick up the banana or not let her do anything else.

The daughter was angry, but she didn't pick it up, and her father stopped her from watching TV and reading books.

After a while, the daughter took something for her father to eat, and the father told her not to eat the banana peel if she didn't pick it up.

Later, the daughter burst into tears.

The father is waiting for his daughter's apology and consciously picks up the banana peel to realize his mistake.

However, both sides pull each other and are unwilling to bow their heads, in fact, they are controlled by winning and losing, and this way often makes each other emotional and loses both.

Children are in adolescence, emotionally sensitive, impulsive, and if adults speak in an extreme way, it will cause them to rebel and cause a rift in the parent-child relationship.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

A mother came for counseling and wanted to ease the conflict with her son.

My son didn't like to fold quilts since he was a child, thinking that the quilts had to be opened and covered anyway, and there was no need to do more.

But his mother insisted that he fold the quilt and develop the right habits.

Until they were in high school, the two were still angry about this trivial matter, and the atmosphere at home was always gloomy.

On the surface, everyone is not wrong, the son has his own ideas, and the mother is trying to correct his behavior and develop good habits.

However, if we blindly pursue right and wrong, the two sides will fall into a state of paranoia and quarrel, which will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but will also intensify the conflict.

"Positive Discipline" once said: "If you think that educating children is painful, then you must have used the wrong method." ”

Home is a place to talk about love and feelings, not a battlefield for arguing about winning or losing.

Parents and children have different ages and experiences, and there will always be differences when they get along.

The child made a mistake, and there is nothing wrong with correcting his ideas and behavior, but it is not a direct accusation as soon as he opens his mouth, forcing him to apologize.

Instead, we should first understand the child's inner feelings, and then understand them with reason, move them with emotion, and communicate effectively.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Always trying to control your children will cause a rebellious mentality

Love that is too controlling will one day suffocate the child.

I saw such a story on the Internet:

As soon as her daughter Huanhuan came home and sat for a while, her mother scolded directly: "Go into the house and do your homework!"

Dad couldn't stand it, and he was upset for Huanhuan: "It's going to be this level of study, and I don't even have time to eat a piece of cake and drink some water." ”

However, her mother defended Huanhuan on the grounds that she was going to go to junior high school, and compared it with the classmate who ranked first in her grades.

When she saw that Huanhuan's dance movements were not standard, she immediately lowered her face and accused her in front of everyone.

In addition to studying every day, learning is learning, learning to dance is also the best, and everything must be obedient to my mother.

The strict discipline made Huanhuan feel suffocated, and yelled at her directly: "If you talk about me again in the future, you won't come back!"

Can't listen to the child's voice, even if the child is sad and wronged, he is indifferent, in the name of love, let the child do something unwilling, there is no room for freedom.

This kind of love is inevitably a bit selfish and suffocating.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

Seeing such a video, my daughter complained in tears because of the pressure on her parents to study: "I can't live without freedom, I can't just live in my studies." ”

After finishing homework, watching TV for a while and being criticized, it is not good to finish your own work and take a break.

It seems that only when your parents see you studying, their faces are pleasant, and the rest are all stumbling blocks that hinder progress.

I always want to control my children's free time to plan their future lives.

Some people in the comments say that today's children are under more pressure than adults.

I get up early every day to go to school, I study all day, I still have homework after I go home, and finally on weekends, I am arranged to take various interest classes and tutoring classes, and I have to endure pressure from my parents every day.

Many times, parents are not up to their own requirements, but they force their children to be self-disciplined every day, eager to spend all their leisure time studying.

Under such pressure, how many children suffer from depression, and even turn against their parents, and the relationship is becoming more and more estranged.

Learning to let go and accept the mediocrity of children is a lifelong lesson for parents.

Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

The educator Vonnarski once said, "What a child becomes depends on the shape of his parents." ”

Behind the child's rebellion, difficulty in management, and bad temper, it is actually inseparable from the wrong education method of parents.

In the process of children's growth, especially during the rebellious period, do not always deny them, obsess about right and wrong, and interfere too much in life and learning.

It's about giving them respect, the freedom to give them the space to guide them appropriately.

A shattered childhood takes a lifetime to heal.

Don't let your parenting style become the source of the breakdown of the relationship between the two parties, and become the pain and shackles of the child.

I hope that parents can learn the right way to educate their children and help them get through adolescence easily.

About the author: Xiang Bei, the author of Fushu, the love of his life, the breeze and freedom, the heroic and gentle, the article: Mom and Dad Evolution, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, without authorization, it may not be reprinted, and the infringement must be investigated

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  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily
  • Rebellious, unmanageable, and temperamental? Parents who do less of these three things can help their children get through adolescence easily

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