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Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

In the TV series "Little Shede", Tian Yulan took great pains to let her son Youneng be admitted to the ideal school.

Finally found a god-level tutor, in order to let the teacher take care of his son more, Tian Yulan spent half a month's salary to buy a bottle of red wine for the teacher.

On the way to take Ziyou to class, Tian Yulan told Ziyou: "Mom is willing to do anything for you, you have to fight and study hard, you know? ”

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

Stills from "Little Shede".

So, how did Ziyou repay her mother?

On the way to give the teacher red wine, Tian Yulan walked too fast and tripped and broke the wine bottle, she didn't care that her skin was broken, and the first thing she did when she got up was to buy another bottle for the teacher.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

Stills from "Little Shede".

As a result, Ziyou completely broke out: "I won't go to the tutorial class anymore, I won't go to this broken class again!"

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

Stills from "Little Shede".

Why did Ziyou explode? Because none of the time, energy, and money that his mother sacrificed for him weighed heavily on his heart. How heavy the love of parents is, how painful it is for children to be crushed.

In fact, children's growth requires strength, and parents' sense of sacrifice is often the fastest thing to strangle power.

Educator Makarenko said: The most terrible gift a parent gives to a child is to sacrifice everything for him, even happiness.

However, this self-sacrificing dedication of parents not only makes their lives very tiring, but also causes huge mental pressure and burden to their children. In the name of love, "kidnapping" a child with a sense of sacrifice is actually the greatest cruelty of parents.

Because the sense of sacrifice of parents does far more harm to children than the love they receive from them.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

One is that a parent's sense of sacrifice can lead to dependency on children.

When parents always emphasize their sacrifices, children will feel that they owe a lot to their parents, which can lead to dependency. They may think that they do not have the ability to face difficulties and setbacks on their own and that they can only succeed by relying on their parents.

is like Lin Miaomiao in the TV series "Youth Pi", under the meticulous care of her mother, she lacks the ability to live independently, like a baby who doesn't grow up, and she still needs to accompany her when she goes to high school.

The second is that the parents' sense of sacrifice breeds the child's guilt.

Hearing parents emphasize their sacrifices for a long time can cause children to feel a deep sense of guilt in their hearts. This feeling of guilt can make the child feel that he is not good enough, which can lead to low self-esteem.

Children who feel guilty about their parents, even if they do well in exams, will not be proud of their efforts and achievements, on the contrary, they will see it as a reward for their parents' sacrifice.

Children who grow up in such an atmosphere are very likely to ignore their own real needs and feelings, care too much about the evaluation of others, and live in the eyes of others. No matter how great the achievements are when you grow up, you can't fill the holes that these indebtedness have formed deep in your heart.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

The third is that the sense of sacrifice of parents will bring a lot of pressure to children.

When children realize that their parents have given a lot to themselves, they will feel a lot of pressure and fear that they will fail and disappoint their parents, so they would rather sacrifice their rest time and hobbies to meet their parents' expectations and study hard.

Driven by external forces to study and live passively, because of the lack of internal drive, it is easy for people to feel nervous and anxious after a long time.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

British educator Herbert Spencer believes: "The purpose of education is to make children happy people, and the means and methods of education should also be happy." ”

True love is for parents to meet their children's psychological and nutritional needs at different stages according to their development, and to help their children see different choices in life through their own growth.

First of all, parents must first learn to love themselves.

American writer Suz Lula pointed out in his book "The Evolution of Motherhood": "A mother who is poor in heart and does not take good care of herself is like a car with an empty gas tank, no matter how hard you step on the accelerator, it is just idling."

This quote vividly tells us that when a person is abundant and abundant within himself, he has the motivation to produce more love. Therefore, parents should pay more attention to their own needs, arrange their time and energy reasonably, so that they can get sufficient rest and development.

The so-called love is overflowing, and parents can only love their children better if they learn to love themselves first. If parents lack love and self-care, they are likely to feel anxious and worried about the slightest thing, and unconsciously pass on their own anxiety, stress and dissatisfaction to their children.

A parent who knows how to love himself is better able to control his emotions and give his child more positive and healthy emotional support.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

Secondly, parents should continue to learn and strengthen their own growth.

Educating children well is a lifelong practice for parents. Raising a child is a dynamic process, and the child's body and mind are constantly growing and developing. Parents should keep a heart for growth and learning, adapt to the growth and changes of their children, and always give their children the love of being one year older.

A family that constantly pursues progress and improvement will also create a more harmonious and stable growth environment for children. At the same time, parental self-improvement will also set a positive example for children.

A parent who loves to learn sends a positive message to their children, and they give to their children out of love, not in return for them.

Finally, parents should give their children the right amount of love.

What can really nourish children is a sense of value, and the acquisition of a sense of value is obtained through continuous doing and affirmation.

Let children participate in housework from an early age, learn to solve problems on their own, cultivate their ability to be independent, and give them timely affirmation and encouragement when they do it.

In addition, it is necessary to set reasonable expectations and goals according to the actual situation of the child. Encourage your child to try new things, and give them support and encouragement even if they fail, helping them build self-confidence.

Always educate children like this, and you can't raise an excellent baby even if you are tired

In short, as parents, we must learn to love our children and better learn to care for ourselves. Before I love you, first and foremost I am myself.

When I love myself enough, I have the strength to love you. But just because I love you doesn't mean you have to listen to me and grow up to be what I want you to be. I love you as you are. I'm willing to use my spare power to help you when you need it.

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