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I leaned against the glass door of the balcony, and the summer evening breeze could not dispel the coldness inside me. It's been a month since the divorce, and I dragged my tired body back to my parents' house, but I didn't expect that there was no longer a place for me here.
"Xiaomei, you can sleep on the balcony for the time being, there is nowhere else. "My father's words were like a bolt from the blue, and I was caught off guard.
"Dad, the balcony is small and stuffy, I've been sleeping on the floor for a month, can you just let me go back to my room to sleep?" I pleaded, tears rolling in my eyes.
"Alright, don't embarrass your dad. The mother said, "If you come back by yourself and ruin the reputation of our eldest lady, can we still raise our heads and see people?"
I listened to my mother's words and tears rained down. As a daughter, when I returned to my parents' home, I thought that I could at least get privacy and rest, but I didn't expect that this familiar "home" would now close the door to me.
The first night I slept on the balcony, my mosquito-bitten hands and feet were full of bags. The old sofa single bed that had been turned out of the storage room kept me awake all night. What was even more unbearable was that my parents refused to open even a single window for me, and the balcony was so airtight. At night, mixed with the sound of mosquitoes, I lay on the bed tossing and turning.
The next day at work, I almost fell asleep and was called to the office to criticize. At the end of a busy day's work, I went to the restaurant to work part-time until late at night. When I got home, the heat was blowing in my face, my parents were already asleep, and I was the only one who was still trapped in this suffocating space.
Days like this were repeated day by day, and I gradually felt hopeless. Why did I get this treatment when I came home? Did I do something wrong? Or did I have this daughter, who was so worthless in the hearts of my parents? This loneliness and helplessness almost crushed me, and I didn't know how long I could last.
One evening, I pushed open the balcony door tiredly, only to see my father sitting by my little bed. It's been a long time since I've been so close to each other, and I suddenly feel so unfamiliar with this familiar person.
"Xiaomei," he said, "Dad knows that he has been treating you badly lately, you listen to Dad..."
"Dad knows that he has been treating you badly lately, so I'm really sorry. My father's attitude softened, and I couldn't believe my ears.
"But why—" I was about to ask, but my father interrupted me with a raised hand.
"We never told you the truth. The father sighed, his face full of guilt, "Your mother has not been in good health, and her condition has deteriorated recently, and she needs to be hospitalized, and the medical expenses are expensive. In addition, your brother's business has failed recently, and he has lost a lot of money, and we have taken on too much financial burden at once, and we are really desperate, so we will do this to you..."
As I listened to my father's predicament, I had mixed feelings. It turned out that my parents didn't mean to embarrass me, but they really did. The thought of my mother's poor health immediately softened my heart.
"Dad, if only you told me earlier, I'll figure it out. "I held my father's rough hand.
"Forget it, don't worry about that. The father's tone hardened again, "We won't ask for your money either." You just take care of yourself. ”
I know my father's self-esteem for independence, and he would rather endure hardships than reach out to me. I looked at my father's back as he left, and I had mixed feelings.
However, the good times did not last long, and the next day, I suddenly fell ill in bed. With a high fever and no strength, I struggled to pick up my phone, but I didn't know whose number to call. My friends are all busy in their own way, and now I feel like I'm wandering alone in a foreign land.
"Ahem... Mom, I'm sick..."I finally dialed my mother's number.
"Then you go to the hospital and take care of yourself. There was only a brief command on the other end of the line, and then a busy tone.
I hung up the phone and suddenly realized that I didn't have anyone to rely on anymore. With tears in my eyes, I struggled to get out of bed, packed some essentials on my back, and prepared to go to the hospital myself.
However, it backfired, and I collapsed halfway to the hospital before I could reach the hospital. When I opened my eyes again, I was already lying in a hospital bed. The nurse told me that some kind people saw me fall and sent me here. I thought about my parents, but they didn't call.
I leaned limply on the pillow, my heart like ashes. It turns out that they don't even care when I'm so sick that I'm not far from dying. I suddenly wanted to just wake up, what was worth my persistence...
Just when I was so desperate that I was about to do something wrong, the door to the hospital room was suddenly pushed open. I thought it was a nurse who had come to do rounds, but I saw my father standing in the doorway, his face pale.
"Xiaomei, how are you, have you suffered?" My father walked up to me in three steps and two steps, holding my hand like a life-saving straw.
I didn't expect to see my father's appearance, and I couldn't speak for a while.
"Don't blame your mother, it's me who is bad, I shouldn't have snubbed you. The father said excitedly, "Dad is too self-confident, don't mind." In fact, my mother told me about your illness as soon as possible, and it was me, the father, who had no eyes, I'm sorry!"
Before I could react, my father knelt on the ground, he choked up and said, "Dad is wrong, I will never let you be wronged again, you just go home and live like before, don't sleep on that balcony anymore!"
Looking at my father, who was kneeling on the ground and crying bitterly, my nose was sore, and tears welled up in my eyes. I remembered that when I was sick when I was a child, my father hugged me like this and nagged me, and I almost fainted with emotion.
"Dad, I know it's not easy for you and Mom. I wiped away my tears, "I'm fine, we'll both give each other a chance, okay?"
My father looked at me gratefully, his eyes full of remorse. I know that their love for me has never changed, but the long period of silent giving has made them stiff in their words, which is also due to helplessness.
On the day I was discharged from the hospital, my mother cooked a sumptuous table of dishes and cleaned up my room. As I stepped into the familiar room, my eyes lit up, and a long-lost warmth rose in my heart.
Maybe the misunderstandings of the past have become a cloud of smoke, and we still have an olive branch, and there is still a chance to understand each other again. I believe in fate, and I also believe in the family affection that blood is thicker than water, it is like a lamp, the darker it is, the more you have to protect it. I know that new hope awaits us in the near future.
After I was discharged from the hospital and went home, I gradually recovered my health. My parents were much more considerate to me than before, and they would often tell me about my diet and daily life, and they would no longer mention my divorce, which made me feel like I was cared for as if I had returned to my girlhood.
I also do my best to help my parents with the chores of the house. When they talked about their recent financial difficulties, I offered to pay for some of the housing and daily expenses. At first, my father firmly disagreed, but after I was hard at all, he finally nodded and accepted.
I knew my parents' self-esteem, so instead of giving them the money directly, I secretly deposited it into my father's account. I hope that this little bit of heart can warm their hard hearts.
In order to help the family in the long term, I also moved out of my parents' house and rented a small apartment. After living alone, I began to plan my future in earnest.
In addition to working during the day, I use the nights to actively decorate my small home. Paint the walls a warm yellow and buy cheap but lovely decorations to bring the deserted room to life. I also used the online tutorial to make some simple furniture by myself, and I feel that life is getting better little by little.
On weekends I volunteer at an animal shelter to help stray dogs and cats. Dealing with cute little creatures, I feel that the gloom in my heart has also been dispelled.
Sometimes I invite a few friends over to my house and cook, sing, dance and laugh together. This long-lost joy and sense of belonging gradually healed the wounds in my heart. I began to learn to forgive and accept my past.
In this way, the days became more meaningful day by day. I no longer struggle with failed marriages, but strive to create a new life for myself. As I stand on the balcony to greet the morning sun and breathe in the fresh air, I can feel hope beckoning to me, and the road ahead is full of flowers.
In this way, in the blink of an eye, I have been living in this city for two years, and my parents occasionally come to my small apartment to sit. They brought home-grown fruits and vegetables, and taught me how to cook a few of my hometown's specialties.
I noticed that my father's face was less wrinkled than before, and they all seemed to be in good spirits. I guess they can finally let go of their worries about me and live the life they want. Every time my parents visited, I would pretend to inadvertently give my father some of my savings. At first, he always excused himself, but then he stopped obsessing about face, and just smiled and said "thank you" to me.
In the past two years, I have also made great progress in my work, with promotions and salary increases, and I have met a group of like-minded friends. We were always happy together, and no one cared about my divorce, which made me feel like I really belonged for the first time in my life.
One day, my mother called me out of the blue to tell me that she and my father had decided to emigrate, to start a new life in a remote but scenic town. I listened to my mother's excited tone and was very happy for them. We all need a chance to start anew, and past misunderstandings shouldn't stop us from pursuing our true dreams.
I started to organize my belongings at home and pack up some of the things I wanted to give to my parents and mail them in. I also went to the bookstore to buy a book about the customs of my new hometown, hoping that they would adapt to the new environment faster.
The night before I left, I asked my father if he needed me to accompany them. But my father just smiled and shook his head, saying that he was no longer a child, which reassured me. I waved as their departing vehicle disappeared into the end of the camera, my eyes a little moist. I know that this is just a small stop in life, and we will meet again.
For me, the divorce was like a storm and I was trapped and tormented. But in retrospect, it also taught me how to stand tall in the wind and be reborn in the rainstorm. I am grateful to everyone who has lit my heart along the way, and it is you who have made me who I am today.
There is still a long way to go, and I look forward to continuing with my family. No matter what trials fate brings, we will be braver and stronger than ever. I firmly believe that the family affection that blood is thicker than water will make us feel close to each other, and there will never be too many misunderstandings again.