Text|Honey Zen
Wang Ming and Li Juan are a couple, and they have been married for five years. Wang Ming is an executive of a multinational company who often travels to various countries, and Li Juan is a university teacher. The two met through the introduction of friends, and when they fell in love, Li Juan knew that Wang Ming needed to travel frequently, sometimes for several months.
At first, Li Juan didn't care much about this separation, but as time went by, she began to feel lonely and lost. Especially after more than a year of marriage, the two have no children, and both parents have begun to give birth, Li Juan feels even more anxious and aggrieved. Because there are fewer gatherings and more separations, the two have never had children. Although they often communicate on the phone and in video chats, none of these methods can replace intimate physical contact and the experience of living together.
In order to alleviate Li Juan's loneliness and insecurity, Wang Ming has thought of many ways. For example, whenever you have time, you will make a video with Li Juan, and try to let the other party see where you are and what you are doing. They also often plan trips and vacations together, but the time for the two to spend together is always numbered.
Gradually, the two became strange and estranged from each other. Even if the video is on, I don't know what to say to the other person. More often, without saying a few words, Li Juan began to complain, while Wang Ming became impatient.
Both realize that the prolonged separation has affected their conjugal relationship, and their marriage has become precarious and urgently needs to find a solution.
In real life, the reasons for the separation of husband and wife are roughly as follows.
1. Work
Couples like Li Juan and Wang Ming work in different cities and even different countries because of their work needs. Sometimes this is a temporary arrangement, but it can also be long-term.
This is not an isolated phenomenon, but the norm, especially in economically underdeveloped regions.
When I was a child, I rarely saw the men in the family, and they usually only appeared during the New Year and holidays. Our parents' generation worked hard to get out of the mountains in order to create a better life for us. Men go out to work, while women, children and the elderly stay in their hometowns.
Until now, my mother feels helpless and aggrieved when she recalls the days of being a father and a mother.
2. Education
I wonder if you have ever heard of educating immigrants? No one wants their children to lose at the starting line, and wants to give their children a better education. Under the premise of conditions, couples may choose to live in different cities because of the educational needs of their children. For example, one couple may need to move to a city to send their children to a better school, while the other couple needs to stay in the original city to work.
3. Family
Couples may live in different places for family reasons. For example, sometimes a person needs to care for a seriously ill parent or grandparent, which may require them to travel back and forth between different cities or countries.
The elderly are accustomed to the environment in which they have lived for decades, and will not easily follow their children to settle in the city where they live. If the elderly can take care of themselves in life, they do not need to be taken care of by their children; Once disabled, it usually means that one of the spouses must return to care for the elderly.
4. Other factors
Couples may also live apart for other reasons, such as dealing with certain personal issues or affairs, or choosing to live in different places due to personal preferences.
The reasons for separating between couples are varied, but whatever the reason, both will face family and time challenges. It is not easy to maintain a marriage with less gathering and more separation, and it requires mutual understanding and support between husband and wife. Here are 5 suggestions for everyone.
1. Communicate openly
Maintaining communication is key to maintaining a couple's relationship. In the case of separation, couples should communicate as much as possible and share their daily lives and feelings. Whether it's via phone, video chat, or text message, it's important to stay in touch.
Distance can produce beauty, but it can also create misunderstandings and disagreements. If the husband and wife are separated and cannot communicate frankly and lose trust, the relationship will be in jeopardy.
2. Meet regularly
Believe it or not, no amount of sweet words on the phone is as good as a real warm hug. Schedule time together as regularly as possible, which can help deepen the bond between the couple. If conditions allow, plan some romantic dates and trips.
3. Support each other
In the case of separation, couples need to support each other. Whether at work or in their personal lives, couples need to understand and support each other. To better achieve this, support systems can be established by sharing your life and work, as well as encouraging and helping each other.
Everyone may encounter various problems in their life and work, and there will be moments of vulnerability and helplessness. In those times, what we crave most is the support of our loved ones.
4. Maintain trust
Trust between couples is very important. Always be honest and transparent even when places are separated. If a problem or contradiction arises, it should be resolved honestly rather than suppressed in the mind.
5. Be grateful for the return
Don't live with the emotion of "sacrificing yourself." The separation of two places is a decision made by two people to negotiate together, and no one owes the other more. We should learn to be grateful and reciprocate with each other. Thank the other person for their efforts and give emotional support. Whether it's a small gift or a thank you note, it's important to make the other person feel loved and cared for.
In this special experience of living apart as a couple, we inevitably faced many challenges and difficulties, but also had the opportunity to show our tenacity and the power of love. Whether through emotional support, regular gatherings, or effective communication skills, we can overcome the loneliness and longing that comes with separation.
The key is to maintain trust, understanding and support to ensure that our love and connection remain unbreakable despite distance. Living apart as a couple is challenging, but it is also an opportunity to value each other more deeply and inspire us to look forward to the future. Love and persistence will be our motivation to overcome difficulties and make our relationships stronger and better.