Bao's mother was angry because her child ate a classmate's birthday cake

Two days ago,

There is a hot search that has caused heated discussions among netizens:

The cause of the incident was Children's Day,

A parent in the kindergarten bought a cake

Share with all children,

The intention is to make the children happy.

Unexpectedly,

This behavior completely angered a mother.

This mother was furious in the group,

claiming that he would rather starve to death than eat junk food,

Insinuating this small favor of the other parent,

is "licking" the teacher,

It is "changing the reputation after poisoning".

In order to force out the vegetable cream toxin that the child eats,

Again inducing vomiting,

Again pouring tens of milliliters of cooking oil into the child,

It's a throat button again,

Frightened the child crying and begging for mercy:

"Mom, I really don't dare in the future,

No one will eat it for me! ”

Many netizens expressed their incomprehension and suffocation at this,

Some think that mom's practice is too terrible:

Some think the child is too pitiful:

However, some people expressed understanding and felt that their mother's reaction was reasonable.

This dispute caused by a piece of cake actually hides 3 truths on the road to raising a baby.

Part.1

Talking about toxicity regardless of dosage is all hooliganism

First of all, I understand this mother's anxiety.

In order to make my children eat healthier on weekdays, I try my best to deliver meals every day instead of taking care of them.

The principles that you have worked so hard to adhere to are easily broken by others, and it is understandable that some anger and chagrin are a little angry.

But the way of expression can not be so radical!

The parents who send the cake may not be thoughtful enough, but at most they just do bad things with good intentions.

If it is determined that the other party is "poisoning and kneeling and licking", it is too chilling.

In order to force out that bit of vegetable cream in the body, it is really fussy and overkill to "induce vomiting, fill oil, and pick the throat and eyes" on the child.

You know, it is unscientific to talk about toxicity without dosage.

The vegetable cream in the cake is made by hydrogenating vegetable oil and adding water, sugar, flavors and other additives.

Because vegetable cream contains trans fatty acids, many people are "scared".

Trans fatty acids do have a lot of harm, easy to let children -

Get silly:

It can affect the development of the central nervous system, and symptoms such as memory loss, cognitive and language ability decline, and slower reaction speed occur.

Getting fat:

Eating 1 bite of trans fat is equivalent to eating 7 bites of regular fat, or eating 4 mouthfuls of fatty meat.

Get cranky:

A study in the United States showed that people who regularly eat trans fat foods are more aggressive.

But all this premise is long-term excessive intake.

The Dietary Guidelines for Chinese Residents (2016) recommends that the daily intake of trans fatty acids should not exceed 2g.

Shenzhen Futian District Consumer Council, has evaluated the trans fatty acid content of 10 cakes, in:

0.11g/100g至0.58g/100g。

According to the maximum content of 0.58g/100g, children eating a 115g cake will consume 0.67g of trans fatty acids, accounting for about 33% of the recommended daily intake limit of 2g of trans fat.

This little trans fatty acid that the child eats will hardly have any effect.

On the contrary, the mother forced the child to drink 30ml of olive oil, 10ml of coconut oil, 10ml of flaxseed oil, relatively speaking, the harm to the child may be greater.

In fact, whether it's for vegetable creams, trans fatty acids, or other junk snacks:

It is necessary to control the intake, but it is not necessary to completely reject it.

Children eat once in a while, which does not affect health and development.

Part.2

Something that childhood is sorely missing

Grow up with retaliatory compensation

There is a word in psychology called "scarcity", the more you can't get it, the more you want it.

In early childhood, unmet or even strictly forbidden needs can become a black hole in the child's heart.

In the future life, no matter how it is filled, it will not be filled.

The child who was forced by his mother to drink dozens of milliliters of oil because he ate a piece of cake, and cried bitterly because he picked his throat and eyes, now he dares not eat it if he wants to.

In the future, if you have the ability to escape your mother's control, you are likely to make crazy compensation in retaliation.

This is not uncommon.

Those children who are completely restricted from snacking will not eat in front of their parents, creating a false impression for parents that "my children will consciously not eat".

If you go outside and see others eating, you are likely to stare at it.

Once you get courtesy from others, you will gobble it up.

Such children are very likely to binge eat junk food when they grow up, and the more they lack something when they are young, the more they will find something to make up for when they grow up.

In the long run, it is actually harming children.

As a parent, I always break my heart for my children.

I am afraid that children eating junk food will affect height development, malnutrition, and will eat bad stomachs.

This worry and anxiety will make us unconsciously exaggerate our imagination in our minds.

If you suppress the child's desires too much because of this, it will only backfire in the end.

Teacher Yin Jianli said:

Stifling the child's small desires will lead to the child's extreme desire for something and produce a compensatory psychology.

Desire can only be loosened, not blocked.

Childhood is incomplete without snacks!

What was seriously lacking in childhood, will be compensated with revenge when you grow up.

Part.3

Vigilance is genuinely good for the child

Or is the desire to control at work

For the overreacted mother, in the overwhelming accusations, some people also expressed distress:

She may be "sick"!

Behind the control of children's snacks is the anxiety, anxiety and worry of parents.

Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotion Therapy, said in "Controlling Anxiety":

It's not that you can't be anxious, it's about managing unhealthy anxiety.

A healthy sense of anxiety can ward off danger and change "bad" things.

Unhealthy feelings of anxiety can lead to a numb sense of panic, excessive worry, and fear.

These emotions will prevent you from doing things that you think are "dangerous" and are not actually dangerous, which will affect your normal life and affect your relationships.

The essence of unhealthy anxiety is the fear of losing control and the manifestation of extreme insecurity.

This mother may have changed her concern for her children due to excessive and unhealthy anxiety, and turned into an unreasonable desire for control.

Parents who are too controlling, always like to influence all the behavior of their children, if the child is disobedient, it will be controlled in a "threatening" way, so that the child is afraid and dare not disobey.

Once something unexpected and out of your control happens, you are likely to lose control of your emotions.

Researchers at University College London found:

Parents are too controllable about their children, which is easy to cause long-term psychological damage to their children, and when they grow up, they have a lower happiness index, stronger dependence, and a large negative impact.

There is nothing wrong with a mother's love, there is nothing wrong with good intentions, but the harm that may be brought to the child by using the wrong way cannot be ignored.

Will treating the goodwill of others as hostility make it difficult for children to be people at school? Will the child be isolated?

Compared with the physical damage that may be affected, will the mother's overly strong desire for control and excessive way of doing things cause a deeper psychological shadow for the child?

We need to be vigilant at all times:

Whether your behavior is genuinely for the good of the child or is it a desire to control.

Finally, what Bao Mama wants to remind the girls is:

Everyone's requirements and standards for treating children are different, if it is not clear what physique other people's children are and what allergies they are, it is best not to give other people's children random snacks.