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Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

author:Seafarer Big Brother

Walking into Nigeria, the life of the crew becomes particularly interesting. Although the security of this country is very poor, with the guidance of locals, you can feel free to experience a different Nigerian culture. I was fortunate to learn about a different polygamous culture here, and I also experienced a lot of different daily cultures here, which made me learn a lot. I don't know, this country really feels different to me.

Having been to this country in 2015 and coming to this country again in 2017 made a great impression on the country. The unloaders who came to the ship were very enthusiastic, which made me feel the friendliness of Africans again.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

Many people may not know that Nigeria can be described as a place where everyone lives with AKs, and the security here is really poor, and after I was fortunate enough to come there, the locals offered to take me around Nigeria to experience a different Nigerian life.

I was thrilled to learn that they would take me into the city of Lagos the next day. I didn't sleep that night just to get to know the country in advance. Unfortunately, after a night of insomnia, I knew very little information, and when I actually went to play on land, I felt that the preparation of the previous night was in vain, and the real experience was not at all what was said on the Internet.

Early the next morning, the unloading brother was waiting for me on the deck and told me that he had already taken leave. I saw that he was still carrying an AK, which showed that the security here is really not good. The unloading brother is not an official, just an ordinary person. Ordinary people can have AK, and it seems that everyone here should have it.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

That morning, my eldest brother chose to walk and take me around the countryside and city life in Lagos. In fact, I don't like life in the city, life in the city is nothing more than shops and vehicles, and the traffic in Lagos is not very good, the appearance of a semi-desert, dusty, it is better to go to the countryside.

When my eldest brother learned that I wanted to go to the countryside, he immediately stopped a broken car on the side of the road, and he planned to take me to his friend's place, which is a Yoruba village, where there will be a lot of interesting culture.

Knowing that my eldest brother was going to take me to his friend's house, I still proposed to go to the city first. I think I'm still a person who has done my homework, the Yoruba people treat their guests warmly, and it is best for guests not to go to his house empty-handed, even if they are good friends, and bring a little gift.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

In order not to disappoint the Yorubas, I bought some household items and food in the city. Rice here is very expensive, 19 yuan a catty, and bananas here are very cheap, 2 cents a catty. I learned from the Internet that the daily food of the locals is mainly rice, less vegetables, and more meat. In the local area vegetables do sell less and are also expensive, lamb, chicken more.

As a first-time visitor, I still bought more. Bought 5 pounds of rice, two chickens, 3 pounds of tomatoes. There are very few things on the street, which shows that the consumption of local people is still very low.

Originally, I wanted to ask my eldest brother how his monthly income was, but he didn't dare to ask, this is a taboo for locals, and it is rude to ask about age and income. However, from the perspective of local economic consumption level, it is almost 300 yuan per month.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

After shopping for good things, we drove directly to his friend's house and were relatively far from the city to his house. In Nigeria, the Yoruba are concentrated mainly in the southwest, with his friends at the end of the village and further afield.

The driver was also friendly and learned that I was a crew member from China, and was especially willing to take me around the local country to experience a different culture.

Just a little regret, after more than an hour of driving, we finally came to the eldest brother's friend's house. At that time, my friend was not at home, the children and wives at home were not very familiar with my eldest brother, and some of the women in front of me could not understand what my eldest brother was saying to me.

I have known that the official language of Nigeria is English, and because there are many tribal tribes, the locals mainly speak the tribal language. There are many national languages spoken here, Hausa, Yoruba and Igbo. Most of my eldest brother's friends' wives speak Yoruba, which made it impossible for us and his family to communicate properly.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

In order to find out where the eldest brother's friend went, the eldest brother went to a family farther away and asked where the friend went. From there, it was learned that his friend had gone fishing at the beach and would take at least an hour to return.

Since you are here, wait here and take a look at the surrounding scenery by the way.

Houses in rural Lagos are interesting, there are two types of houses here, one with mud walls, tin roofs, or mud walls, straw roofs.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

People here live very single, do not live in groups, and are very lonely. When I came to my eldest brother's friend's house, his family consisted of a few children and a few women.

I'm curious about those women, who are always staring at me, do they like me?

One of the women was waiting for us, and took the initiative to come forward to talk to the eldest brother, speaking a very mixed language, I didn't understand it at all, and the eldest brother couldn't fully understand.

Watching the exchange between the two of them, there was finally a little result. The person who was communicating with the eldest brother in front of him was his friend's eldest wife, and after communicating with the eldest brother, he told the eldest brother if he had ever seen him.

This attracted the attention of the eldest brother, and told the friend's eldest wife that she was her husband's friend and wanted to come to his house to see it.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

After the woman learned that this was the case, she still believed her eldest brother and quickly told the other women that we are all friends of your husband.

When everyone learned about our situation, they greeted us and asked us to wait for them at the bottom of the tree at the door. I thought they would give me some water and make me tea.

I think I must have thought too much, they didn't do it at all, but I took some tomatoes out of the car myself, asked the women to wash them and cut them to quench everyone's thirst.

I have to say, this is also a place where water is scarce. After the woman handed the tomatoes from my hand, she didn't even wash them, so she cut them directly, put them directly in a tattered basin, and took them out for us to eat.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

I see that everyone doesn't care whether it is clean or not, so I grabbed it casually, and I followed suit. The weather was a little hot that day, and when he waited at his eldest brother's friend's house until ten o'clock in the morning, his friend slowly returned with seafood.

At first, the eldest brother friend did not recognize the eldest brother, and thought that there was a thief in the house, so he threw down the seafood in his hand, picked up the stick and walked towards us.

When he came to the house, his wife told her that she finally recognized that it was her friend, so she was embarrassed to greet her eldest brother.

This can't be blamed on his friend's attitude, it's just that the people here are a little interesting.

People in Nigeria are afraid of heat, and when they go out, they like to wrap themselves, especially with a headscarf, leaving only a pair of eyes.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

If I were to say that the eldest brother did not say anything, his friend would definitely think that a stranger came to the house to do something bad.

The eldest brother's friend is still enthusiastic, knowing that his friend has also brought foreigners to see him, which is even more enthusiastic.

The eldest brother and friend quickly ordered his wife to make something to eat, and specially ordered that the delicious seafood be prepared for us first. Big brother friends are enthusiastic, and I, as a foreigner, can't let my big brother friends down, let alone let his family down. So immediately let the driver open the trunk and took out the rice, chicken and tomatoes inside and gave them to the eldest brother friend.

The eldest brother's friend is called Yorusadi, he is older than me, he is muscular, and he must be a hardworking person.

The eldest brother led us into the house, and in his house, I almost suffered from heat stroke. I didn't expect that the temperature inside their house during the day was even higher than the temperature outside.

After sitting for about ten minutes, I was sweating profusely, and Yorusadi saw that I was hot, so he offered to go under the big tree at the door to take a dip.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

I said yes, and that made me slow down.

Yorusadi is not only hospitable in my eyes, but also talkative, speaks English and Yoruba.

For me, I am not very demanding, and I am satisfied that Yorusadi speaks English. Sometimes, the eldest brother still speaks Yoruba with his family, probably because there are some things he doesn't want us to hear.

I watched Yorusadi chatting with us, and several women in his family were busy cooking.

One of them, a woman who speaks a little English, is cooking delicious chicken leg rice, and she looks like someone who has no shortage of food in the family. The rest of the women were also busy making seafood and making goat soup.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

Seeing how these women looked particularly familiar in his home, I boldly asked Yorusadi if those women were his eldest daughters.

After Yorusadi listened to me, he was happy to introduce the people in his family.

He pointed to the woman who made the chicken leg rice from a distance and told me that the woman was his eldest wife. The woman squatting there to make seafood is her second wife, and the third wife and fourth wife are cleaning up the mutton.

It seems that Yorusadi is also a person with many wives, and he told me that in Yoruba, there are still many polygamies, mainly because women are beautiful, and they can marry home if they have the strength.

I learned from Yorusadi about the way and way of life of marrying a wife here.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

From the way of marrying a wife, I saw the shadow of Chinese marriage.

In the local area, men also have to prepare a bride price for marriage, which can be very little or even completely unnecessary, but the gifts here cannot be less, especially the precious gauze.

The Yoruba people love gauze and regard high-grade cloth as wealthy. The women here dress relatively simply, but the gauze on their bodies and the gauze on their heads cannot be too bad.

They do this to show off how beautiful and young they are.

Often young, beautiful women are followers of men, and if they want to marry them, men have to behave hardworking. According to the requirements of the woman's parents, the man should behave well in the woman's home, either by working for the woman's family or by living in the woman's home for a period of time.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

On the day of marrying home, you can make up a banquet, that is, you want to invite your wife's parents to the house to congratulate you.

There are many Yoruba customs here, and for Nigerians, it is often taboo, and it is not allowed to sit casually on the wedding day or even on weekdays.

After marrying his wife home, whether the man's family has no parents or has parents, the woman's parents arrive at the house, and they are to ask for peace on the same day. The invitation here is not to be called on the lips, but to kneel. In the morning, Ann's kneeling method is to kneel on both knees and put his chin on the ground, and if he asks Ann in the evening, kneel with both paints and put his forehead on the ground.

This is the local marriage rule, and after the woman's parents return home that day, the wife must ask her husband and parents to kneel every day, and at this time her chin is on the ground.

In my opinion, it is cumbersome, but when waiting for the child to be born, as a mother, you must start teaching the child to do this, and you can be exempt.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

In my eyes the cumbersome practice, women are very willing to do this, and as the eldest wife, she has superior rights, she can not comply with it, the husband has nothing to say, as for Yorusadi, he does not have high requirements for other wives, only requires wives to have no contradictions, do not take advantage of his absence at home, go out and socialize with other men at will.

The exchange with Yorusadi also made me understand that Nigeria's thinking of having children is still relatively progressive, at least more advanced than women in most countries in West Africa.

Yorusadi married so many wives, he only gave birth to 8, two per wife.

This is Yorusadi's idea, he does not want to put pressure on his own life and does not want his children to suffer. He knows that Africa's health and medical environment is poor.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

Africans who think this way are people with the right culture, unlike other West African countries, who believe that the more children, the better.

Without so many children's parenting pressures, Yorusadi's quality of life does seem to me better. His four wives made a lot of food for us that day, and everyone seemed to have a good job.

In Yorusadi's eyes, a home, as long as the man works hard enough, life will not be bad. It seems that when we came, Yorusadi went fishing, which also reflected his pursuit of life.

Born on such a continent, the local environment is still relatively harsh, and it is indeed very good to be able to pursue. During our meal, we also talked about how Yorusadi distributes himself every night.

This is a topic that men love. No, this is a topic that foreign men love, and it doesn't seem to be unusual for locals.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

I asked Yorusadi how he would allocate his physiology and sleep problems at night about a house?

He told me he had a strict sleeping standard. He will elect once at the end of each month, and every month he will elect the most hardworking and beautiful wife of the four wives as the person who accompanies him next month, and the selected wife can accompany him to live as a husband and wife, and the rest of the wives will live alone with their children, no matter whose children it is, the other three wives must protect the safety of their children.

I was amused and funny, and I didn't know why Yorusadi did it, until I listened to his explanation, which made me admire Yorusadi.

Yorusadi told me that this approach is the source of happiness in life, so that every wife pays great attention to her own image, and everyone wants to fight for the opportunity to live with her husband, so they pay more attention to the maintenance of their own body.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

In addition to being beautiful, women must also be hardworking. Why do you want to do this?

Yorusadi believes that it is not easy to live with a large family, but also to raise children, if only rely on the efforts of one person to support 4 wives, 8 children, it must be hard, then their body can not survive the years after all, for a long time, it will seriously affect their physiological functions, then in the end, they can't live a husband and wife life with their wives, and their wives will dislike him.

In my opinion, Yorusadi's idea is very wise, not only to mobilize the wives to live hard, but also to make each wife's face still beautiful, thus making his own life happier.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

That's a good idea, but I think Yorusadi has another problem that hasn't been taken into account? That is, when Yorusadi gets older, the physiological aspects of men will always degenerate, so at that time, their bodies are no longer good, and their wives are still beautiful, do they have to worry about the risk of their wives being taken away by other men?

Yorusadi still understands me very well, and he told me generously that when he is old and physically incapable, his wife will go with whoever she likes, anyway, his children have grown up, and he has reached the stage of half-cutting into the soil, and everything that should be enjoyed is enjoyed, it doesn't matter.

After listening to Yorusadi's words, I was impressed by Yorusadi's wisdom. People with such thoughts are really powerful, and their lives in this life must be happy.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

At noon, a few of us ate very happily, because the temperature was getting hotter and hotter, I still chose to go back to the boat, I was worried that I would suffer from heat stroke, then it would be worth the loss.

Before leaving, Yorusadi was so friendly that he gave me all the leftover seafood he caught that day. I didn't want it at first, but his sincerity still let me accept it.

Africans can also understand what it means to exchange courtesies, which is really not easy and deserves respect.

On the way back, I talked a lot with the unloading brother, and I told the unloading brother that I envied Yorusadi, and he said that he also envied him for having many wives. The eldest brother told me that his wife did not allow him to marry another wife and return home, nor did she want to have more children for him, which made the eldest brother worry.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

Knowing my eldest brother's difficulties, I also encouraged him to live well and persuaded him that his life is the same as in our country, and he must adapt to the development of the times to make life better.

During this chat, my eldest brother also talked to me about some local taboos.

He told me that in Nigeria, as long as a woman who has a family cannot sweep the floor at night, otherwise she will be empty, and it is considered that sweeping the floor at night has swept away the happiness of the family. It makes sense, in fact, in my rural area, my parents will also say that you can't clean at night, but the saying is different, our rural saying is that if you clean at night, when you walk, your feet will kick.

In addition to this taboo, it is also said that you cannot use your left hand to finger people, your left hand to give people things, your left hand to eat, etc., in short, your left hand is not clean. I think this regulation is somewhat similar to the culture of India and Pakistan.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

People who have been in Nigeria for a long time should also be able to see that there is a dress code in the local area, men are not allowed to wear shorts when they go out, women are not allowed to wear skirts to go out, these will be considered unruly practices, it is easy to be pranked by men or women, that is the loss of their own image.

Big brother or big brother, he is not interested in the culture of his country, but in the culture of our country. When I told him that women in our country like to wear miniskirts and low-cut clothes in the summer. He didn't believe it, so I pulled out the phone photo and showed it to him, so that he was amazed and gave a thumbs up and thought it was unimaginable.

Ship to Nigeria, the husband and wife life of a man with 4 wives is interesting, and the culture is insightful

This is the cultural difference, each country has its own traditional culture, and traditional customs. I think the way the Yoruba people get married and how they are distributed is still interesting, but their way of asking for peace is a little unacceptable to me.

Of course, it is still necessary to follow the customs of the country, only in this way can I, a foreigner, experience a different and interesting culture. Thanks to my eldest brother for his leadership, it made my experience very memorable.

A wonderful trip to Nigeria, although there are security concerns, but under the guidance of the locals, it is still very good.

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