Osamu Dazai wrote in the book "Human Disqualification":
Encounters are always caught off guard, partings are premeditated for a long time, we must get used to the cold and heat around us, and we must also look down on those who are gradually drifting away.
Relationships between adults are much more fragile than we think.
No matter how close friends you make, it is difficult to escape the trials of reality;
No matter how much you love your partner, you will eventually face the test of life.
At the beginning, everyone made a vow to stay with each other for a long time.
But at the end, he tacitly chose to disappear from each other's life, and even said goodbye well, which felt like a disturbance.
Relationships between people are seasonal.
No matter who it is, they can only accompany you for one ride.
20 years ago, with the singing of "accompany you to see the meteor shower" in the streets, 4 big boys entered the hearts of countless people.
"Meteor Garden" became popular, making F4 a popular idol boy band in Asia at that time.
In the days that followed, the four of them toured, participated in events, and gave interviews.
In front of and behind the scenes, they are brothers who understand tacitly, sharing the glory and distress brought by fame and fortune, and witnessing each other's youth and growth.
However, in just two or three years, the four announced the disbandment of the group and flew solo.
Since then, they have rarely appeared together in the spotlight and rarely contacted again in private.
Zhou Yumin devoted himself to the film industry; Wu Jianhao formed a new singing and dancing group;
Yan Chengxu plays the male lead in idol dramas; Zhu Xiaotian, on the other hand, chose to study and retire after experiencing great ups and downs.
Not long ago, Wu Jianhao participated in the recording of the variety show "Friends Please Listen", and was asked by the host why the group disbanded.
He thought for a long time, but he couldn't seem to find an answer, but only vaguely explained:
"Probably because everyone has different choices about the future."
Writer Liu Tong said:
Those friends you used to think were very good, those who you thought would always be with you, don't know when they got separated on the way.
From talking about everything when you were young, to having nothing to say when you grow up.
Maintaining a friendship requires care, and ending a friendship is sometimes just a casual one.
At every stage of life, we meet people who walk together because of similar goals.
However, when the focus of life shifts in different directions, some people choose to return to their families, while others continue to work hard.
When our lives no longer intersect, common topics become less and less.
Maybe occasionally, we still think of each other, just click on the chat box, and after a few pleasantries, we find that we don't know what to talk about.
Slowly, the once good friend became a contact in the address book that had not been opened for a long time.
Friends, who are separated in this way, are not who did anything wrong, but have different experiences, and they are not willing to pretend to be familiar anymore.
Only when I grew up did I understand that sentence:
"Scattering is the norm in life, and we are not exceptional."
Those who have been close to our hearts and minds will one day have to part ways in the passage of time.
In the TV series "An Home", his wife Gong Beibei and her husband Liu Sili quarreled on the way to see the house.
Gong Beibei complained that Liu Sili would only ask three questions when she came home from work every day:
How is my son in kindergarten today? Is the parent's blood pressure normal? Is there enough change for grocery shopping at home? Other than that, the two no longer communicated.
Recalling her married life, Gong Beibei was full of grievances.
The two sons rely on her to pull alone, while the husband doesn't care about anything, not even changing a diaper for the children.
Not only did she have to take care of her children, she also had to serve her husband.
Once, after a night shift, she ran to buy breakfast for her husband, who not only did not appreciate it, but also complained that the fritters were cold and asked her to change them.
She got up early and was greedy, busy with this family, just wanted to hear her husband say a thoughtful word, but she never got it.
Hearing this, Liu Sili didn't think so, but felt that Gong Beibei was making a fuss, and asked rhetorically, "Isn't the marriage of middle-aged people like this?" ”
The disappointed Gong Beibei filed for divorce.
There is a hot topic on the Internet, "What will middle-aged couple life look like?" ”
Some people say that marriage has entered a dull period, the passion has faded, and only chicken feathers remain;
Some people say that life is just a matter of making do, not speculating with each other, relying on children to barely sustain themselves;
Some people say that both sides are like boiling on fire, wanting to leave but can't leave, thinking about it and living badly.
How many marriages, at the beginning, both parties held the hand of their sons and made vows to grow old together;
But before long, you and I became strangers, and saying more words became a luxury, and I couldn't get a response to a word of comfort.
There is no deception, no betrayal, just because you are no longer willing to take the time to listen to my joys and angers, and I no longer have the patience to understand your hardships.
How happy the intimacy was once was, how chilling the alienation of reality was.
The man who promised to spend his life together went his separate ways at the crossroads of life.
Writer Yishu said:
In the journey of fate, the time of everyone's performance is stipulated, and when it is time to leave, how reluctant it is, you have to leave the scene.
When I was young, I fantasized that meeting would be forever; When I grow up, I understand what is forever.
The so-called forever is to use a lifetime of time to go further and further.
Life is to meet and see again in a long journey.
In the train of the years, someone gets on the train, and someone arrives at the station.
You have to slowly learn to accept that there are too many people and scatter as you walk; There are too many feelings, and they fade when they talk.
The relationship between people is seasonal, and most people can only walk with you for a while.
Between relatives, it is the gradual distance of watching each other's backs.
Even if there is blood thicker than water, one day you have to accept separation, and if you want to meet, you have to cross thousands of rivers and mountains, and you have to piece together time.
Between partners, it is a mutual compromise between both parties.
Even if you were once attached to each other, you will one day understand that romance is short-lived, and real marriages rely on each other, and you have to manage your life with your heart at the end of the day.
Between friends, it is an equivalent exchange between you and me.
Dependencies that were once thought to be indestructible will one day also detect that when you are useless to others, the boat of friendship will turn over.
When the person accompanying you wants to leave, even if you are reluctant, you must smile and wave goodbye, and finally there will be weak water for the sea, and there will be no lovesickness to send Wushan.
Your relationship with anyone has a deadline.
Just as flowers bloom sometimes, withering is inevitable; The seasons pass and will not stop for anyone.
The best way for adults to get along:
Cherish when you come, and relieved when you go.
In the relationship of adults, there are both mutual foam and yin and yang errors; There are unexpected encounters, and there are those that end without problems.
It is fortunate to be together, but regrets are common.
Although there are regrets, but accept it calmly, this is the decency that should be in the relationship.
When people reach middle age, they have experienced parting and tasted regrets, and they gradually understand that the long life is just a beautiful hope, and the impermanence of gathering is the daily life of life.
Although many people did not accompany you to the end, the time they once warmed you and me is still precious.
Liang Shiqiu wrote in his essay "Send-off":
"You go, I won't send you, you come, no matter how windy or rainy, I'm going to pick you up."
The best way for adults to get along is to cherish when you come, relieve when you go, do your best, and go with the flow.
People around you, cherish it well, don't leave regrets; Those who are separated, let go of the force, silently bless.