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The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

author:Jungian Psychology V
The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Text | small fish

Editor|Zhiwen

01

In the social capital of the family, the influence of parents' family education style, educational expectations and time with children is particularly significant. The erosion of the family's social capital affects all aspects of children's lives, including the following.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

First, the impairment of family social capital affects children's behavior and cognition.

Based on the researchers' contact with traumatized children and their families, individual cases and families of small flowers were selected for exploration. Xiaohua is a third-year junior high school student, after experiencing the cold violence of the family and the death of the elders in the family, her academic performance began to regress, and her parents and Xiaohua were anxious.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

It can be seen that these children share many characteristics in terms of behavior and cognition. Just as parents become tolerant of their daughters when they learn that their children suffer from depression.

This made the client Xiaohua have doubts about whether her parents love themselves because of their illness, and even have the wrong perception that they do not want their illness to be cured.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Second, the impairment of family social capital affects children's emotional and social development. Whether the conjugal relationship and parent-child relationship are harmonious in family social capital has a significant impact on children's mental health.

Xiaohua became unwilling to communicate with the outside world because she lived in her mother's beating and scolding for a long time, resulting in depression and anxiety.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

It can be seen that children living in poor parent-child relationships or single-parent families are prone to insecurity and lack of trust between family members, and these adverse psychological states may affect children's social communication methods, resulting in children's reluctance to communicate with the outside world, so that it is difficult to build a good intimate relationship.

Third, the impairment of family social capital affects children's character development and personality development. The development of human character has stages. The formation of children's good character and sound personality is inseparable from the words and deeds of parents.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Children who have had traumatic experiences in their families are prevalent in traits such as becoming introverted, afraid to communicate with others, or lacking trust in the outside world.

The stage of personality development theory states that the important relationships of children before the age of 6 are mainly in the family. Therefore, parents should not neglect the early psychological development of children. Building self-confidence and self-esteem is the main task of children's developmental stages.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Children between the ages of 12 and 18 are becoming physically mature and the various aspects of personality need to be reintegrated. Whether children can establish positive identity is an important guarantee for the successful completion of the task of personality development in adulthood.

The impairment of family social capital, such as the incomplete family structure, discordant husband and wife relationship or parent-child relationship and poor family communication style, will have a subtle adverse impact on the development of children's personality.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Internally optimize the construction of family social capital

Studies have shown that trust is the foundation of family education to enhance family trust and reduce the loss of family social capital. Lack of trust is one of the classic manifestations of complex PTSD due to childhood trauma.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

02

The lack of trust between Xiaohua and her mother leads to the inability of both parties to use the family as a channel for emotional relief, which hinders the establishment of family intimacy. It can be seen that a good sense of family trust includes not only the trust between husband and wife, but also the two-way trust between parents and children.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

The sense of trust between husband and wife also helps to build a positive interaction between families, so that children can feel safe.

Parents' trust in their children helps foster family intimacy. When children feel that they are not trusted, they often develop feelings of loss and inferiority that lack love.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development
Erikson believes that trust forms hopeful qualities in personality, which strengthens children's self-empowerment. Living in trusting families allows children to be fully respected for their own needs, builds a desire to interact with their parents, and helps boost children's self-confidence.

When trust is established, many family problems are solved.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Therefore, parents should accept children, listen carefully, and allow their negative emotions to be vented. At the same time, children should be encouraged to believe that they have intrinsic potential. Parental support is a solid backstop for children and a starting point for optimizing the family's social capital.

Improve family education methods and enhance family interaction

Each family has a different type of education, which has a subtle influence on the development of children. Among the client families selected by the researchers, most of the family education methods of traumatized children they came into contact with were authoritarian and neglectful.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

For example, Xiaohua's parents are authoritarian parents, who have high educational expectations for their children and set too high goals and standards for them, so that parents and children are in an unequal relationship.

This leads to negative emotions and behaviors such as anxiety and withdrawal in children.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

And at the same time of authoritarian education, there is a lack of spiritual attention, parents do not actively pay attention to their children's daily life, lack of encouragement and support, resulting in children's lack of enthusiasm for social interaction, poor self-control, and even mental illness or aggressive bad behavior such as adjustment disorders.

Educational methods are often the unconscious manifestation of parents in the process of raising children, and many parents do not realize the consequences of poor education methods in time.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Therefore, parents should be aware of the advantages of democratic family education methods for children's physical and mental development.

Actively accompany children and build a natural psychological barrier for children in close family bonds, so as to avoid psychological problems. Moreover, we should learn to change the tone of "command" and create more opportunities for children to express their inner feelings.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Create a democratic and harmonious family atmosphere to enhance family interaction, optimize family social capital, and help children improve self-esteem and self-control.

Optimize attachment relationships and increase family intimacy

Paternity refers to a child's tendency to want support and comfort from their parents and to maintain close contact with them.
The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

The quality of attachment relationships is related to changes in parental behavior. High-quality attachment relationships help improve children's social adaptability, while low-quality attachment relationships tend to cause children to form negative emotions.

To this end, in order to explain the psychological trauma of children, the researchers selected individual cases to conduct investigations.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Depathologization, family trust indirect therapy is mainly through meetings with other important others such as family members and peer groups of the client to expand their social support network and promote changes in specific circumstances, thereby alleviating the psychological trauma of the client.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

03

From the first interviews with Xiaohua and her mother, the researchers found that the parents' insistence that their daughters were "sick" was deeply rooted and internalized in their attitudes and patterns towards their daughters in daily life, which led to the negative perception that parents loved themselves because they were sick.

It is undeniable that the client's depression has an important connection with family factors.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Therefore, the goal set by the researchers is to change the parents' labeling of their daughters' depression, create a better family atmosphere for them, and thus fundamentally alleviate the psychological trauma.

At the researchers' suggestion, Xiaohua's mother watched videos about the voices of depressed patients and expressed remorse for some of her thoughts to the researchers.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development
"I should believe her, and now I try to control my emotions, but my generation does not know as much as you and don't express it very well," she said. I don't know how to help her. ”

In response, the researchers decided to change parents' negative perception of their daughter's depression through the idea of problem externalization in narrative therapy.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

It is recommended that Xiaohua's mother try to get along with her daughter in a way that her daughter can understand, for example, when her daughter buys new clothes and takes pictures and sends them to her mother, it shows that she wants to get her mother's affirmation. At this time, you can first praise your daughter's dress and help your daughter build self-confidence, rather than ignoring her daughter's information and making no representation.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

According to her mother's statement, the researchers can judge that Xiaohua's psychological trauma is composed of multiple traumatic events, mainly including the sudden death of her grandfather, domestic violence witnessed in childhood, long-term verbal abuse by her father, and academic pressure.

At their root, these incidents reflect the family's emotional neglect of children.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Therefore, alleviating the psychological trauma of the client requires close cooperation from parents.

Xiaohua's father said that there was very little communication between father and daughter, and her mother was in charge of everything in the family.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development
Xiaohua's father said: "I didn't go to high school, I was her age, I went to work outside and become an apprentice for others!" In our time, there were so many books to read. When I was a child, it was a little delicious, and I was very happy. How famous as today's children! Besides, I worked so hard to make money, I didn't want her to study well and not follow my old path. ”

In the interview, he also talked about how he was very naughty when he was a child, and he often fought, and his father beat him with a stick.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

From this, it can be inferred that the reasons for the weak relationship between father and daughter may be as follows:

First, one's own intergenerational culture.

The father lived in an era when education was generally low, and family economic conditions often limited individual educational opportunities.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Therefore, the father thinks that it is a very happy thing for his daughter to have the opportunity to study.

Second, emotional empowerment.

Today, his daughter has the opportunity to study, and the father hopes to make up for his childhood dream of studying through his daughter.

Therefore, there are certain educational expectations for daughters.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Third, the way of education.

His father lived in a stick education environment as a child, which led him to carry on this education to his own children.

Fourth, working hours.

Due to work reasons, the time to accompany her daughter is very limited, and she always focuses on her own leisure and entertainment after work. It can be seen that the role of the father in the socio-economic structure affects the intimacy of the father-daughter relationship.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

In response, the researchers suggested, "Try telling your daughter about your childhood, telling her stories from your time, and about the fun and unforgettable experiences of work at that age." In fact, the dialogue with Xiaohua's parents is also a true portrayal of many families.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

04

In the Chinese environment, the parents' generation has lived under the mainstream culture of "male protagonist and female protagonist inside" since childhood, which has led many fathers to blame the mother's responsibility for their children's problems, thereby destroying the relationship between husband and wife and affecting the harmony of the entire family system.

By guiding them to recall their own life journey, researchers can awaken their understanding of their daughter's current predicament and further understand the close relationship between the causes of their daughter's psychological trauma and the family.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Through these research data, the researchers can feel the impact of the psychological trauma of the client Xiaohua on himself and his family. At the same time, there are parents' concerns about their daughter's depression and the urgency to find a solution as soon as possible.

In this regard, the researchers also recommend that Xiaohua's parents participate in the weekly parent salon activities held by the community center to help them understand the importance of listening and responding, alleviate their anxiety about their daughter's condition, and enhance the effectiveness of casework services.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Storytelling promotes good communication among families

When self-awareness conflicts with society's dominant values, individuals often blame themselves for everything. This practice of internally attributing failed experiences can easily lead to feelings of guilt or negative attitudes.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Narrative therapy emphasizes helping individuals to put failed experiences in the context of normalized judgment and find the power to support, which is very much in line with the concept of social work that focuses on the relationship between the environment in which the client is located and the various elements of society.

When using the concept of narrative therapy for casework, clients should first be encouraged to tell their own life stories to help social workers identify problems and understand their psychological changes after experiencing the traumatic event, so as to determine the extent to which the traumatic event affects the client.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development
When the researchers asked Xiaohua how difficult she is now, she said, "I know I have a disease, and I have heard my parents say that I am sick so you have to put up with me." Sometimes I worry about myself and wonder when such a day will come to an end. But sometimes I don't want my illness to get better, because since I know I have depression, my parents will care about me, and there is nothing wrong with it. ”
The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

From her tone, it can be seen that the parents' pathological thinking about their daughters makes the client feel the change in the parents' behavior.

At the same time, it also reflects her fear that her parents will not care about their psychological dependence as much as they do now after depression leaves.

Although depression brought her unbearable pain, she also felt the warmth of her family that had been lost for a long time. Problem externalization, the construction of family intimacy problem externalization refers to separating people from problems and helping individuals remove labels attached to the outside world.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Treating problems and people as one often obscures the inner nature of the service object, and the externalization of the problem can help the service recipient realize the power they have to fight the problem, and then improve their ability to solve their own problems.

The researchers explored the problem in depth with the client through the personification of the problem, explored the history of the problem and the impact of the problem on life, learning and other aspects, so as to help the client Xiaohua withdraw from the negative definition in mainstream culture and rethink her relationship with depression.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Reinvent your story and build resilience

The researchers helped clients deconstruct the negative narratives of their own life stories, providing them with a new perspective on the positive effects of psychological trauma. Moreover, based on the real feelings and experiences of the client, discuss with them the story that is more conducive to individual development.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

05

The stage of reshaping the story is also the process of grief counseling for Little Flower.

The key to grief counseling is to build a new relationship with the deceased and move on with life in a positive way.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

The therapeutic elements of grief counselling consist of four components: telling, support, cognitive or emotional processing, and building a sustainable connection with the deceased.

Through deconstructed dialogue and empathetic listening, clients are guided to re-view their feelings with different expressions.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

At the same time, encourage the client to have a dialogue with the deceased, or regard the deceased as a role model to maintain the relationship with the deceased, and perceive the existence and companionship of the deceased. Ultimately, incorporating traumatic events into existing life stories helps clients truly accept the fact that the deceased is dead.

The main traumatic experiences that exist in Xiaohua's relationship with her parents include domestic violence and family emotional neglect. From the perspective of domestic violence, she has experienced violence between parents, long-term verbal violence and cold violence against her father against herself. In the early days, parents always dealt with husband and wife conflicts by scolding and fighting.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Although Xiaohua is not a victim of physical violence, the impact of witnessing such incidents on a regular basis is far-reaching and long-lasting. As studies have found, children's cognitive systems are affected regardless of whether they themselves are directly abused, and the impact of domestic violence on children experiencing both situations is essentially the same.

And these traumatic memories are not forgotten as the client ages.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

In addition, the father always expressed his dissatisfaction with his daughter's behavior with words that Xiaohua considered abusive, such as "stupid", which seriously affected her self-confidence and deepened self-doubt. At the same time, it also makes the gap between father and daughter communication thicker and thicker, which continues to this day.

After entering junior high school, the time spent with parents and children increased significantly, but as the daughter grew older, the degree of attachment to the family decreased.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Family relationships have also changed, with husband and wife closer ties, and the way of dealing with problems is less extreme, shifting to cold violence in dealing with conflicts between family members.

From the perspective of family emotional neglect, it mainly includes the emotional neglect of their daughters by parents after bereavement and mutual distrust between mother and daughter. Parents treat Xiaohua as a child and ignore her grief over her grandfather's death.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Grief is a family event, so counseling for grief as a whole is beneficial to both the individual and the family's development.

Good communication and mutual support among family members is important for children to adjust to the changes after bereavement.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

In the long run, domestic violence has a negative impact on an individual's ability to form intimate relationships and on an individual's development. Studies have found that witnessing experiences of domestic violence can cause individuals to show more emotional problems, such as anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder, etc.

Although "cold violence" does not lead to physical conflicts, it still causes mental or psychological harm to family members, and even causes serious psychological problems.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

The pattern of "cold violence" between husband and wife not only affects the intimacy of the couple's relationship, but also has an immeasurable impact on children's psychological growth.

Children are prone to self-attributing problems because of parental conflicts, resulting in feelings of guilt or depression. At the same time, it may also be impossible to establish good interpersonal relationships because of long-term living in this family model, internalizing the "cold violence" method in their own behavior of dealing with social relationships.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

Reinventing the story is the most central step in narrative therapy.

Throughout the storytelling, the researchers assisted the client Xiaohua to form a complete narrative of scattered events, causing the client to reflect on past experiences and ideas, so as to build a more positive and powerful self.

The loss of family social capital can affect children's psychological cognition and social development

After several meetings, Xiaohua's sense of powerlessness and depression improved, and communication between parents and children increased.

It can be seen that stories are the symbolic expression of social capital in the family, carrying meaning, emotion and value, etc., and have a great impact on the communication relationship within the family.