The short tragic life of transgender Li Ermao, who "became a woman" for love, was abandoned twice

author:Xie Li stop who loves life

This is a story about a man who "transgendered" for love, the man's name is Li Ermao, he also has a female name called Meilena, as a transgender, he was filmed by director Jia Yuchuan for 14 years in 2015, and finally made a documentary that shocked the world.

Twenty years ago in Shenzhen, the night performance was still very vulgar, and a charming woman on the stage stood in the spotlight, swaying to the music constantly, and from time to time she told a few meat jokes, making the drinkers laugh, he was Li Ermao. When he was 9 years old, his father was shot for child trafficking, and his mother abandoned him directly after remarrying, and he followed his cousin in Chongqing to collect garbage for a living. It wasn't until 1997 that he went to Shenzhen, where he worked in a factory at first, and then worked as a waiter and security guard, and since then, he has found that he likes men. So Er Mao became an anti-string actor, and with the help of this profession, he found his first boyfriend Xiaojiang, and when he happily introduced his boyfriend to the director, his face was full of happiness.

At that time, Ermao worked particularly seriously in the night club, and after continuous learning day and night, Li Ermao climbed to the top of the night club step by step, becoming the most shining queen under the neon lights, and it was also at this time that he named himself "Melena", with his unique beauty, he played with the drinkers between applause, but turned around and stepped down, and all the light disappeared instantly.

In order to make himself go further, he no longer wants to rely on vulgar performances to support himself, Er Mao visited many bosses, hoping that the boss could pay for him, release him with records, and package him as a household star, but in the eyes of the bosses, he was just a joke. Er Mao naively believes that he has not completely changed his sex, so the bosses are unwilling to help him, so he made up his mind that in February next year, he must save enough money for surgery and become a real woman from top to bottom.

In the following year, Er Mao worked hard to make money, and as he became popular in the night club, his quality of life with his boyfriend Xiaojiang became better and better, not only moved into a new apartment, but also bought a computer and lived a happy cohabitation life. He happily let the director watch his performance, thinking that the good life would continue like this, and it was not enough to have sex reassignment surgery just by relying on the expenses earned from the performance.

In order to quickly earn money for surgery, Er Mao contracted gambling, and as a result, he often lost his hard money, and his savings for more than a year were lost by Er Mao in just a few nights, and Xiao Jiang quarreled with Er Mao for this, and the relationship between the two was almost on the verge of being broken.

The second Mao pulled the director drunk, he cried and said to the director, Xiao Jiang said that he gambled and everything was a cover-up, the real reason must be that Xiao Jiang likes women, he dislikes himself is not a real woman, with him is just for his money, do not like him at all. Halfway through, Xiaojiang found the night snack stall where Er Mao was, and it can be seen that Xiao Jiang is still very concerned about Er Mao, and he persuaded Er Mao to go home and reconcile the two, but Er Mao still talks nonsense, thinking that Xiao Jiang dislikes himself. Er Mao couldn't see Xiao Jiang's good treatment for him, and Xiao Jiang's hard work and affection was exchanged for Er Mao's reproach, which made Xiao Jiang completely disappointed in Er Mao, and the two broke up.

Soon after, Xiaojiang left Shenzhen, and the blow of lost love made Er Mao completely degenerate, and he no longer went to night performances, but often found some strange netizens to come to the house to relieve his loneliness, and countless cigarette scars were burned on his hands. The director couldn't bear to see Er Mao continue to be decadent, so he couldn't help but say a few words about him, his words were a little extreme, and he accidentally poked Er Mao's pain point, and Er Mao directly broke off contact with the director.

In the following time, Er Mao never contacted the director again, and it was not until a few months later that Er Mao called again, and Er Mao was very anxious on the phone and asked the director to see him immediately. After opening the door, Er Mao was dressed in a white dress, but there were mottled blood stains on his body, and his new boyfriend Xiaolong was calling the police. It turned out that Er Mao was going to commit suicide by cutting his wrists when he didn't agree with each other, and in an emergency, his boyfriend could only call the police, and Er Mao grabbed his boyfriend's phone, saying that his boyfriend was drunk and reported a false case.

Because during this time with her new boyfriend, Ermao was infected with drugs, and if the police came, both of them would go to jail. But soon after, the police arrived, and the two were unsurprisingly found to be using drugs, and they were sent to a detention center. When Er Mao came out, the landlord no longer accepted them and threw all their belongings on the street, and in desperation, he had to sell all the furniture on the street. The neighbors gathered around to watch, but not to buy something, just to see his joke.

The director did not want to see him continue like this, and found a temporary residence for him. In the car, he cried and said, "Do I really want to live alone in the future?" Is it really a shemale, is it really destined to live alone for a lifetime? When Ermao's mother learned that he had an accident in three days, she asked him to go back to his hometown in Sichuan immediately. But it was summer, and there were so many smoke scars on my hands, if I went back, my mother would be angry when she saw it, and how many rumors would there be when the villagers saw a man like this. He could not care, but his mother was his only relative, and Ermao had to convince his mother to wait until winter to go back.

In winter, his stepfather called again, asking him to hurry back to his hometown in Sichuan, saying that there was an emergency, and at this time he and Xiaolong also got back together, and the two took the train together to rush back to their hometown in Sichuan, which may be a new beginning for Er Mao. After rushing back to his hometown, Er Mao saw his mother for the first time, and because of the thin clothes on his body, his mother, who had not seen him for many years, immediately brought him a thick coat. Er Mao didn't know that this would be the only warmth he would have when he returned home.

At this time, a large number of villagers gathered around, laughing at his strange appearance all the time, they couldn't believe why a male doll came back after more than twenty years in a woman's clothes. Er Mao explained that he wore such clothes because he had done performance work, and at this time the police also arrived, and after asking Er Mao that he was Li Guomin's son, the police were also surprised, and they came to do mediation work this time.

The homestead left by Ermao's father was occupied by the villagers, but after mediation, the villagers still had no intention of returning Ermao. The stepfather took him to check the junction of the land, the house was pushed, the land was occupied, and the helpless Ermao had to build a simple shack on the remaining vacant land to live in against the mockery. This is their future home, and they decided to live hard with their hardworking hands. With no source of income, they raised some chicks, hoping to return to their homestead and live steadily in the countryside.

Although the villagers often stood in front of the shed and sarcastically mocked Er Mao, Er Mao did not care. But Er Mao also has his own worries, it's winter, and you can't see it in thick clothes, but in summer, your secrets can't be kept. The Spring Festival is coming soon, and Er Mao bought a couplet and pasted it on his simple roof, hoping that his chicken breeding business will prosper next year.

The director also learned about Ermao's biological father from the villagers, who was shot for buying and selling children and women. The uncle also replied that Er Mao's biological father not only sold other people's children, but even his own son Sanmao was sold by him to Henan. And the reason why Er Mao is called Er Mao is because he also has an older brother and younger brother, and as for Da Mao, he was eaten by his biological father. Er Mao said, "The boss was eaten because he was born and not raised well." It's hard to believe that people cannibalize people in today's civilized society. On Chinese New Year's Eve night, when the family was reunited, Er Mao and Xiaolong lived in a shed watching the Spring Festival Gala, and slowly slept with some expectations for the future.

Seeing someone else's wedding, Er Mao's face was full of envy, and he vowed to have a better and more luxurious wedding with Xiaolong in the future. The days passed like this, and the lives of the two seemed to be on track. But when the director came to Sichuan again after the New Year, Er Mao's situation had changed qualitatively. On that day, the village chief found Er Mao and his words revealed his rejection of Er Mao, they thought that Er Mao was not a man or a woman now, and in the future, he might go on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes like his biological father, and Xiaolong was a foreigner, which would pose a potential threat to the villagers. No matter how much Er Mao argued, he looked so pale and powerless, and in the end, under the so-called coordination of the village chief, Er Mao sold his occupied homestead to a neighbor for 600 yuan.

After that, Er Mao and Xiaolong returned to Shenzhen and experienced the common hardships of the countryside, and the two are still full of confidence in life. They found a factory to work part-time every morning and return late, went shopping together and bought vegetables together, and even raised a puppy, and even considered going to meet Xiaolong's parents together. Seeing that the two were about to save enough money to go for the final operation, this peaceful life was finally broken by the two of them themselves. Xiaolong is addicted to online games and no longer goes to work, and Ermao also gets back into gambling. The two quarreled, and eventually Ermao and Xiaolong also broke up. The bits and pieces of the memory made Er Mao painful, this time they broke up, Er Mao was still crying, he lay on the ground, and became an abandoned person again.

In the following half a year, Er Mao never contacted the director again, and when he saw Er Mao again, his changes surprised the director, at this time Er Mao had cut off his long hair and gave up the dream that had made him work hard. In the face of cruel life, he finally lowered his head, but the silicone that was once implanted in his chest still troubled his life. Because the operation is expensive, now all he can do is to tie it with a bandage, he does not dare to stand up like a normal person, nor dare to eat and live with his co-workers, he is afraid that others will discover his secret, if he is discovered, he will definitely lose his job, and may be beaten severely.

But soon after, the secret that Er Mao tried to keep was discovered by the workers, who regarded him as a pervert and beat him and drove him out of the factory. In the dark night, Er Mao sat in front of the police station and cried, "He hit me on the head hard, and then the video surveillance can testify, he had that thing in his hand and knocked it on me, but someone stopped me, and I survived." Er Mao looked so helpless at this time, crying tired and lying in front of the police station and sleeping. The director couldn't bear it, took the initiative to contact a hospital, and asked the hospital to perform chest removal surgery for Ermao at his own expense. After examination, if you are healthy, you can have surgery tomorrow.

The night before the operation, Ermao put on women's clothes for the last time and completed the last performance of his life, he wanted to say goodbye to the other side of his life, when everyone thought that Ermao was about to usher in a new life, but fate did not seem to give him this chance. On the way to the operation, the hospital called, he tested for AIDS, the news was like a thunderbolt, this is no longer a question of whether the operation can be carried out, even whether life can continue is full of uncertainty.

After learning the news, Er Mao cried, he couldn't understand why fate always turned against him, he just wanted to rush back to his hometown in Sichuan, burn incense for his father, and then find a cliff to end his life. Since then, the director has not seen Er Mao again, out of worry, the director asked around for news about Er Mao, found his residence, and asked his friends, but there was no news of Er Mao. Until one day, the director suddenly received a video message on his mobile phone, and Er Mao in the video had taken out the silicone on his chest and returned to a real man, telling the past emotionally and without regret or regret.

On March 14, 2019, Er Mao ended his short life in his hometown in Sichuan. Li Ermao once exchanged his well-behaved father for the chance to live, and I don't know what kind of mood he occasionally thinks of Li Damao who was eaten and Li Sanmao who was sold. However, life did not allow him to live simply, and what was once a dream of moth wings has now become a heavy burden. Li Ermao gave up flying, but he was still falling into the abyss. Li Ermao originally thought that by cutting off his wings and giving up flying, he could be a mediocre ant ordinary life, but fate seemed to be too bumpy for him, and living itself already had to do his best, as if to punish his greed for dreams, and God made cruel jokes on him again.

The story is over, Li Ermao's life has not yet ended, every huge city has many Li Ermao, they live stubbornly and vigorously, screaming for help with their lives, but their voices are drowned out in the hustle and bustle of the city and have never been heard. They travel between you and me, passing by you and me countless times, but they are so transparent that they have never been seen or remembered, Li Ermao and you and me, living in a parallel universe where space overlaps, everyone in the city is in a hurry to make a living, taking care of themselves, burying their heads in a hurry, and not knowing that there was once a Li Ermao, he died, but still alive.