text| A cat that can draw fish
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What is more uncomfortable than accepting your ordinary?
Chinese parents have given the answer to this with their own experience, that is: their children are ordinary.
"No matter how hard you are, you can't suffer children, no matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education."
From ancient times to the present, the concept of "everything is inferior, but reading is high" has been deeply rooted in the Chinese family, especially in recent years, this concept has reached a very paranoid point, and "chicken baby" came into being.
At the end of 2021, the word "chicken baby" was selected as one of the ten popular words of the year, which once again revealed the unspeakable side of Chinese education.
"Chicken baby", generally speaking, refers to parents to their children "chicken blood", for the growth of children, do not stop various forms of encouraging children to carry out hard work.
To some extent, this word also reflects the mentality of parents who "hope for their children to become dragons and daughters to become phoenixes".
In fact, hoping that their children will become talents, such an idea is understandable, but in the increasingly fierce "chicken competition" environment, there are many parents, it is inevitable to show a very quick side.
Tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands, of tutoring cram classes.
Sell your mansion and move into a dark and damp school district house.
Even some parents, in order to "admit" their children to the so-called famous schools, do not hesitate to waste their family property and donate money and buildings to the school...
Now, the first generation of "chicken babies" has reached the time of "out of the cage", which makes people wonder, how are they doing now?
Are the parents who give everything to this getting "due" in return?
"I have experienced all kinds of winds and waves in my life, but the most afraid thing is that children are not as good as me."
Mr. Yang, who lives in Guangdong, is a proper and successful person in the eyes of others.
When Mr. Yang was young, the spring breeze of reform and opening up had just begun, so he responded to the call of the times and went south to start a business without hesitation.
Now, twenty or thirty years later, now he has a successful career, a happy family, and the "card game" of life seems to have been victorious.
However, few people know that behind Mr. Yang's glamorous beauty, there are unknown troubles and sorrows.
That is the future of your own children.
Perhaps because his success was somewhat lucky, Mr. Yang could often hear people chewing the root of his tongue behind his back, calling him "Tudai".
It is precisely because of this that Mr. Yang especially hopes to get rid of the word "soil", and the first thing is to hope that his children will not be "soil".
"My ancestors have been farmers for eighteen generations, so I am the soil bun you scold, but I hope that starting from my son, I can be infected with the fragrance of books and no longer suffer from this anger!"
With this concept, Mr. Yang began to "chicken baby" from the time when his children were just understanding.
From all kinds of expensive cram schools to gifts to teachers, Mr. Yang can be regarded as using actions to implement what is called "what can be solved with money, it is not a thing!" ”
However, despite this situation, Mr. Yang's children's grades were still unsatisfactory, although not very bad, but not much different from ordinary people, and eventually admitted to a local university.
After his child graduated from college and entered the society, Mr. Yang was looking forward to thinking that his child could break into a new world.
But when the child ran home crying, a sentence made Mr. Yang suddenly feel that the whole world collapsed:
"Dad, I really don't want to work hard!"
"Dad, I don't want to work hard."
While saying a word to the child's sadness, it also shattered Mr. Yang's dream.
Once upon a time, Mr. Yang's children believed in their father's "chicken baby" and thought that "reading" could change their destiny.
But when he entered the society, faced with the same experience as the ordinary people around him, with a monthly salary of three or four thousand and a house price of thirty or forty thousand, he really couldn't find the meaning of his efforts.
In the end, in desperation, Mr. Yang had to accept the ordinariness of the child, bought a car for the child, bought a house, and arranged an easy job.
"Sometimes it's not whether you want to accept your child's mediocrity, it's that you have to accept it." Mr. Yang said helplessly.
At this point, Mr. Yang's "chicken doll" has failed, but in a sense, his "chicken baby" may not have failed either.
Coincidentally, Ms. Chen in Beijing is also a "loser" of "chicken dolls".
In 2018, in order to allow their children to attend a key middle school, Ms. Chen and Mr. Chen "exhausted their family property" and spent 20 million yuan to buy a dark and damp "basement".
Just because this is the so-called "school district room".
In fact, before buying this house, Ms. Chen's family's life, although not too wealthy, far exceeded that of most families.
There is even a "villa" of his own in his hometown, where life is leisurely and moist.
However, in order to benefit the growth of her children, Ms. Chen had to make "sacrifices" and sell all her assets to buy the house she is today.
"As long as the child can be good in the future, as a parent, it is nothing to suffer a little, and it is said that it is hard work."
When she had just moved into the "new house", Ms. Chen said with great anticipation.
But can reality really work as she wishes?
In 2022, after four years, some media returned to visit Ms. Chen, only to see that compared with the previous hesitation and ambition, Ms. Chen's face is now full of worry.
"The child's grades have never been improved, and at most he can choose to study in other provinces."
According to Ms. Chen's account, in addition to scolding, she used almost all the "chicken baby" methods, but the effect was still mediocre.
She couldn't figure out why she had given so much and the child couldn't give her the results she wanted.
In desperation, Ms. Chen now has to find another way out and begin to consider sending her children to study abroad.
But predictably, at the same time, the financial pressure will once again weigh on her and her husband.
Of course, "chicken baby" is not without successful cases.
Mr. Zhao, who works in a well-known company in Shanghai, is a "product" of the first generation of "chicken dolls" and can be regarded as the beneficiary of "chicken dolls".
However, what is doubly surprising is that he not only did not have the slightest gratitude for "chicken baby", but hated it deeply, so much so that he still feels very dissatisfied with his parents to this day.
It turned out that when Mr. Zhao was a child, his parents squeezed almost all his time in order for him to grow up better.
After waking up every day, I was either at cram school or on the way to cram school.
This made him recall his childhood, or adolescence, and still feels deeply "sick".
In addition to the physical oppression, Mr. Zhao did not suffer from the mental oppression at all.
When he was studying, his parents set Mr. Zhao's rule that he should be at least in the top two in the exam, and if he couldn't get it, it would be "a waste that can't even read", which made him suffer from anxiety about the exam for a while.
Therefore, although Mr. Zhao later got admitted to a prestigious school as his parents wished, and found a good job after graduation, he did not have any gratitude for this.
"My childhood was lost forever because of my parents, and no amount of things can make up for it!"
In fact, there are many similar experiences to Mr. Zhao, and "squeezing children" seems to have become the consensus of "chicken baby" families.
Learn English at the age of 3, learn Olympiad at the age of 6, learn piano at the age of 8...
On the road of "chicken dolls", every minute and second of the child is planned in detail, and almost no life of his own.
Just like some netizens asked their 6-year-old children whether 1500 words were enough, some answered ridiculously: "6-year-old can know 1500 English words, which is enough in the United States, but it is definitely not enough in China!" ”
Obviously, many parents have reached the point of devilishness when they are "chicken babies".
This makes one wonder, is it really worth it?
In fact, "chicken baby" is completely a helpless choice of reality.
My child can not learn, but if your child learns, my child must learn!
In fact, nowadays, when many parents are "chicken babies", what they consider is not whether their children will be "excellent", but whether their children can keep up with "ordinary people" and whether they can achieve "mediocrity".
When "inner roll" becomes the main color of the times, "chicken baby" naturally becomes an inevitable choice.
In fact, the three mentioned above, whether it is Mr. Yang, Ms. Chen or Mr. Zhao, they at least have a solid family, and have the cost of going to the "chicken doll", and for more ordinary families, the "chicken baby" is the real burden.
For example, in a small county in my hometown, many parents will send their children to a "private middle school", where the annual tuition fee is as high as 20,000 yuan or 30,000 yuan, and the monthly income of these parents is only worth 2 or 3,000 yuan.
But in fact, these "private middle schools" do not necessarily improve children, coupled with the annual enrollment quota of key high schools is fixed, these "efforts" are not so much used for learning, but for "crowding" competitors.
"Chickens" can't afford it, but they must be "chickens", and this is their current embarrassing situation.
Obviously, this is a very unhealthy social phenomenon.
In addition, the growth of the "chicken" generation is not necessarily perfect.
As far as the "out-of-cage" situation of the first generation of "chicken babies" is concerned, a considerable number of children among them have shown extremely poor self-care ability and psychological unhealthy problems.
The generation of "chickens" has done their best in learning, but they really can't do anything but study!
A few years ago, Xinhua News Agency had a report entitled "Hardest hit areas for telecommunications fraud generated by universities."
At that time, many people wondered why children should be very smart after reading so many books, but why are they more easily deceived?
In fact, this has a lot to do with the lack of social experience in the process of growing up.
Human energy is limited, and when "reading" is stretched to the extreme, it is inevitable that it will be missing elsewhere.
Coincidentally, the frequent PUA incidents of college girls in the past two years are also the same reason.
So, since the "chicken baby" is so unbearable, do parents have to forcibly accept the ordinariness of their children, or fall behind?
No, it's not, in my opinion, "chicken dolls" should not only not be resisted, but should be practiced more widely.
But it should be noted: do not "invalid chicken dolls".
What is an "invalid chicken doll"?
It's very simple, to put it bluntly, that is, less comparison, more pragmatic.
In fact, nowadays, many parents often watch how others do when they are "chicken babies", and learn how to do it themselves, completely ignoring whether this is suitable for their children, whether it is useful.
Like the example of "1,500 words at age 6 is enough in the United States, but not enough in China," this ineffective competition does nothing but satisfy the vanity of parents.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with "chicken baby", but the method is very important.
No child is born mediocre, it's just his shining point, have you found it.
Just like a foreign parent before, when he found that his child was addicted to games, his first thought was not to stop the child, but to seriously sit down with the child and have an equal conversation.
When the child says that he wants to become an "esports" player in the future, the parent starts "chicken doll" and supervises the child's game.
Finally, a month later, the child reached the highest level in the game, received an invitation to an esports club, and fulfilled his dream while earning more than both parents combined.
Can this be said to be a failed life?
Passion is a source of motivation for a person.
Forcibly "chicken dolls" may ignite momentary passion, but they cannot create blood.
"Ineffective chicken dolls" is not only a waste of children's time and energy, but also a heavy burden on the family.
So ah, there is nothing wrong with "chicken dolls", the method is very important, otherwise it can only be the opposite, counterproductive, spending a lot of money, and the child is still ordinary as before.