#2023育儿季 #
Sukhomlinsky admonished posterity like this:
"Every moment, when you see your child, you see yourself, and when you educate your child, you are also educating yourself and testing your personality."
What can parents do to help their children develop and build resilience? The formation of resilience requires three major elements. They are: I have, I am, and I can.
1. I have - refers to the relationship between children and resources. The resources here include the support his family gave him, the support he received from his peers, and the larger environment of the school. As parents, a well-managed parent-child relationship and a real focus on the child as an individual are important sources of their sense of security. A child with a stable support system is more able to develop his resilience.
2. I am - refers to the relationship between the child and the self. It emphasizes subjective self-identity and self-affirmation, which is a more powerful self-confidence and internal drive than "I have". The adolescent child is diligently seeking on the path of "who am I", he gradually sketches his own image, more and more full, perfect. In this process, we need to support the child's sense of autonomy and give him sufficient autonomy.
3. I can - embodies the relationship between children and subjective initiative. Through continuous interaction with others, they gradually understand what they can do, what they can't do, and what they can't do now. We cannot deprive him of the opportunity to solve problems on his own, so that he can find the feeling of "I can" in continuous experience and exploration. I have, I am, and I can and can be progressive relationships. It reflects the child's continuous growth and maturation. "I have" is the foundation, "I am" is the frame, and "I can" is a beautiful house. When you have this beautiful house, you can shelter from the wind and rain and withstand the cold winter. Every little thing in life, a little difficulty, the child to experience, to overcome, is the process of building his own house. In this process, self-confidence, independence, thinking ability and perseverance are gradually formed.
[Event]: Today Saturday is satisfied to sleep in, because it rained yesterday, the clothes were not washed for two days, and I only got up at half past six, my teammates were busy cooking breakfast, and I was busy soaking my clothes in warm water (with well water, hand washing). The child promised that she would bring food to her classmates and classmates this Saturday, so I helped the child prepare wonton wrappers and minced meat last night, and the child said that she woke her up early in the morning, and she made her own wontons and cooked the wontons. I planned to help her wrap it together, but it seemed impossible. Quickly tell the baby to get up, get up to help mom, mom is going to be late for work ha.
The child listened to my help, got up from the bed with a grunt, looked at the time, and quickly reminded his mother, my mother hurried to eat, and I will help you with the clothes there, so warm.
I finished the meal as fast as I could, washing the bowls and pots by the way, and cooking the wontons for the child. Before going out, the child has already dried his clothes.
When I go to work, I think about whether my child will make wontons and cook them? Silent in my heart, believe in the child, my child is excellent.
The child is already at home after work, give the child a big hug first, dear baby, mom thank you for your help this morning. I asked the child, did you eat ravioli today? She said happily, of course, I ate it, my classmates said that my family's wontons were better than her family's wontons, and I also helped my sister prepare one.
Baby, you are very reliable, honest and trustworthy, and the quality of helpfulness is better than 100 points on the test. Mom likes you and rewards loving hugs.
[Lyric my heart]: The child is better than I thought, the mother has improved by one point, and the child has improved ten.
[Magic Conversion]: If I were a child, I would also be willing to help my mother share some housework and make my mother happy.
[Pass on my intention]: I can see my mother, care for my mother, and love my mother, because your existence makes my mother feel happy.
[Wisdom Collision]: The so-called seeing means seeing and connecting hearts. Being seen is a deep understanding, acceptance, and recognition.
【Summary】: My post-70s mother insisted on studying in two periods of the yelling camp, and made great progress. Before learning, the child only has a mobile phone in his eyes, like a little hedgehog, he can't fight the spirit in everything, the mother has a mouth, the child says that the microphone is all my fault, only that I was born a mistake. The mother is so anxious, the child is a mirror, and all the problems of the child must be the problem of family education in the final analysis.
Although my doctor's mother friends around me subtly influenced and guided, and I did not read parenting books, there is still a long way to go to learn and achieve.
Climbing the stairs every day to study is a compulsory course for me, learning from teachers and excellent parents, learning while doing, and improving an inch every day. My cutest child is back. Thanks for meeting you, it's good to have you!
If parents want to change their behavior, they need to change the thought process behind it. There are 4 core elements in this model: situation, thinking, feeling, and behavior. That is, in a scenario, how you think and what feelings you have affected your behavior.
In real life, we often see some children who are firm and unafraid in the face of challenges, while others always avoid challenges and are prone to collapse in the face of setbacks. The difference in the way of thinking determines that their behavior is completely different.
Children who face challenges often have a growth mindset and believe that through their own efforts, good strategies, feedback and help from others, they have the ability to overcome difficulties.
And withdrawn and evasive children often give themselves negative and negative cues: I can't, I can't, I can't do it. This fixed mindset has led them to miss out on many opportunities, including many intelligent children whose potential cannot be realized.