At the beginning of the year, he was cured by a movie about cats and dogs.
The movie is called "Puss in Boots 2" (hereinafter referred to as "Boot Cats 2"), and I think everyone will think of the cute cat and the fairy tale full of fantasy when they hear this name.
And this season looks like a cute cat and a dog adventure on the surface, and it feels like a movie without brains, but the result is unexpected, and it is a serious topic discussed under the story of easy cuteness:
There is no magic that can solve all difficulties at once, suffering cannot be truly erased, and what life needs to learn is to accept and face it.
01
Unlike the image of the boot cat in the previous movie who is brave and fearless, skilled in swordsmanship, and has a group of people who pursue him, in "Boot Cat 2", the boot cat ushered in the life of his hero and twilight, and after the glory, he was just a down, commissioned, middle-aged cat with a long beard.
Faced with the powerful and cold death chasing and killing like a shadow, the boot cat retreated, finally threw away the sword in his hand, hastily took off the hat and boots that were once regarded as a representative of dignity, chose to bury them, and fled to a "safe" place.
After a little struggle, he became a domestic kitten almost without any obstacles, eating and sleeping with hundreds of cats, landing on all fours, lining up with public cat litter... A banal life is easier to adapt to than expected.
When I saw this, I suddenly felt that my heart was hit.
It turns out that the fearless cat and cat before are the same as most of us in the face of the bleak, cruel, and insurmountable reality, choosing to avoid running away and living a muddy life.
Isn't the booted cat on the run the way to life the true picture of the hearts of many of us adults? We used to think we were unique and extraordinary, that we would eventually become dazzling people, but reality tells us that we are only a minority of the crowd;
And many times it is difficult for us to get rid of the eyes of others, use public values to restrain ourselves, and become ourselves in the eyes of everyone, so we slowly lose our autonomy and live a completely different self from our expectations.
Don Miguel Ruiz, a famous American spiritual teacher, pointed out: "What human beings fear most is not death, but real life. There is no courage to live your true self, and you are afraid to pour out your heart's desires. ”
Whether it's for the booted cat or for us, it's better to be alone than to face the impending death and face the reality of life that makes us powerless.
02
Another kitten in the play, Softpaw Kitty, falls into another adult dilemma - loneliness. Kitty has always longed for a relationship that can be honest and trusting.
Once she trusted her master, but was plucked out by her master; After meeting Boots Cat, she tries to open her heart and decides to get married, but Boots Cat does not attend the wedding...
After all the hurt, Kitty decided to no longer trust anyone, and closed the door of her heart, unwilling to give others another chance to hurt her. And this also made her experience complete loneliness, and she also lost the ability to love and be loved when she refused to connect with anyone.
Kitty's predicament mirrors our reality of the pain of most people in intimate relationships, many times, we "obviously want to get closer, but are alone until dawn", and the reasons why we choose to push others away are complex and helpless.
Attachment theory suggests that an individual's intimacy in adulthood is often influenced by patterns of interaction with nurturers in early experiences.
In the relationship interaction with the main parent, the infant forms a special emotional connection and bond, and gradually forms a corresponding pattern, also known as attachment type; And there are many studies that show that attachment in infancy and attachment patterns in adult intimate relationships are lineage and affect our performance in intimate relationships.
Kitty experiences hurt in her relationship with her owner in her early experiences, developing an insecure attachment type.
The need to love and be loved that could not be satisfied in the early relationship has always existed in her heart, longing to be satisfied in a similar intimate relationship, but afraid of being hurt again, so it is always difficult to feel secure in the intimate relationship and unable to trust the other party, and the behavior of the boot cat once again frustrates Kitty and awakens the old pain in her heart.
Similar to Kitty, many people in reality both desire love and avoid it, and are also related to the insecure attachment patterns formed early on, and the bad experience in the relationship.
Past experiences have made us form the cognition of "attachment = hurt", and also tell us that establishing intimate relationships with others is to hand others a knife to hurt themselves, and escape from closure is a safe choice. But inner instincts and the desire for love often lead us into conflict.
Desperate to escape the plight of loneliness and to have a solid and reliable relationship, Kitty hopes that this magical power will save her from the swamp of loneliness and despair.
03
The Wishing Star is a fantasy power set in the play, which miraculously can grant any wish of the wisher. Several groups of protagonists in the movie are miracle seekers, each obsessed with using the miraculous magic of the wishing star to rewrite reality and achieve wishes.
Boots Cat hopes to use the Wishing Star to escape the pursuit of death, Kitty hopes to have a lover who will never betray her, and Orphan Kim hopes to get a real family instead of a few bears.
Whether it is the people in the play or the real us, we will always have hope and obsession with miracles, hoping that miracles will happen to change the current predicament and disappear;
Hopefully, there will be a panacea, and one can solve all our problems and free us from the painful struggle;
I hope to erase the things that we regret in the past and start over...
And clinging to the fantasy of miracles to rewrite reality also means denying ourselves in the present, what we have in the moment, and our own power.
We resent the past and the present, feeling that the world is unfair to us and that others are not kind to us.
Just like the plot line of Xiaojin and the three bears, although Xiaojin is an orphan, the bear family who raised her is truly dedicated to her and gives her a deep love.
Xiao Jin, on the other hand, is more obsessed with finding what she considers to be the "real" family, human relatives, ignoring or even taking advantage of the love of the Xiong family, "Aren't we your family?" Faced with Mama Bear's question, Xiaojin was speechless.
04
There is also a happy and innocent puppy in the play, a puppy that is diametrically opposed to the protagonists. It has lived on the streets, being kicked around, and the thrilling moments of being stuffed into stone-laden socks by other dogs and thrown into the river, almost dying.
But he told his story without resentment or sadness, as if telling an ordinary story, and even felt that he was very happy to get a piece of clothing because of it.
The dog calmly accepts his suffering and cherishes the moment he has, so when talking about making wishes, everyone else without exception shows a strong yearning for making wishes, the dog said: "I already have a comfortable sweater, and two best friends, I have no wishes to make, no magic needed." ”
Of course, we will inevitably have more or less dissatisfaction with the past and the present, and naturally feel resentment and anger after experiencing pain; I hope that the suffering will disappear and that I will not have to go through those moments of suffering.
Just like knowing the bad of his native family and the harm he brought to himself, dissatisfaction and sadness arise, "My misfortune is all because of my childhood...", "Why can't parents do a good job as parents...".
After the resentment, some are unwilling to accept it, so they are obsessed and desperately want to change their parents and change the past;
Some are forced to accept and live with the belief that "life is bad because I have a bad family of origin, so I am not destined to become an excellent person, I am not destined to have a good experience, unless a miracle happens, otherwise my life is a mess".
And the dog tells us, it's better to pet the cat and pet the dog, the dog doesn't know how to make you comfortable, but the dog will accompany you and put his head on your stomach to let you touch your head.
In addition to escape and forced acceptance, there may be other options to choose, accept and face the difficulties of life, see the beauty of what is really happening at the moment, the puppy spirit may help us to have more firm strength in the face of bleak reality, inspiring us to look at life in another way.
In the play, when facing the giant rose that blocks the way, Kitty and the booted cat's first reaction is to take up a weapon and want to destroy it immediately, but they are entangled more and more tightly by the flowers;
And the dog is really relaxed, sniffing the flowers, "don't worry, take your time, think about what you have now, and then be grateful", and the flowers automatically give way to the passage.
Defense and counterattack may be the coping strategies that past experience tells us, but sometimes relax, learn to be like a dog, to smell the flower that blocks the way, there may be a different surprise.
Maybe you can also find that there is already a warm power around you like Xiaojin, there is a "just right" family, or a soft puppy is waiting for you to rub your warm belly.
When we can see our true feelings and accept ourselves, we also have a new understanding of ourselves, we have a vulnerable part and a firm part, let go of the guard, and the true self can also sincerely reach a real connection with others, and gain courage to face the present and the future in the connection.
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