He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
A person who does not fit in is actually divided into two situations.
The first type: unwilling to blindly follow, have their own unique thinking
This type of person is more thoughtful and often a little out of place with the people around them.
Their thinking is more jumpy, and they are often "aliens" in the eyes of those around them; In the process of being alone, I prefer to read books and enjoy time alone.
But their personality is not introverted, but very easygoing, just waiting for the "destined person".
If you can "talk" with him, you will find that he is also a very good person to chat.
The second: introverted and a bit of social phobia
This type of person is a matter of personality, they are usually less willing to communicate with the people around them and are not used to socializing.
Taking the initiative to socialize with others can make them feel "embarrassed" and even afraid.
In the long run, they close themselves off and don't know how to get along with others.
The category of people we want to talk about today belongs to:
I don't have any friends around and I don't like to be gregarious.
They have their own life and spiritual world, but are often judged by some as:
"Few friends = low emotional intelligence = no socialization".
This statement is narrow, don't like to socialize, does not mean that you will not socialize;
Just because they don't like to be gregarious doesn't mean they don't have the ability to get along with others.
Such people tend to have the following psychology.
-01
"Low please, high interaction"
Unwilling to climb the flames, unwilling to please, please others, and even less like to lose yourself in a relationship.
For them, the most intolerable social patterns are:
", comparison, bragging and other meaningless dinner drinks".
Psychology calls this social model "low-pleasantry."
They do not please the outside world, they prefer to please themselves;
They do not bring a "play on the scene, play with ease" social style with the outside world, but follow their own hearts.
This type of person prefers the "high interaction" model.
That is, high-quality socializing.
Friends are in quality, not quantity.
They can't stand the boredom and boredom of others, and they don't want others to see their boredom.
But in their hearts, they are very much looking forward to the existence of "soul mates" and "confidants".
Once you meet someone, you can go straight to his heart, bring him high emotional value, and chat with him about favorite topics, then his chatterbox is opened.
-02
They are confident enough that they don't need to be "gregarious" to gain recognition
The more a person lacks something, the more he desires to acquire something; The most direct performance is to show off and compare.
A person has low self-esteem in his heart and longs for recognition;
As a result, he continued to socialize, gaining recognition and praise from the outside world through social means.
A person is confident in his heart and is relatively satisfied with his achievements, abilities, and everything he has;
At this point, he doesn't care if he wants to fit in or not.
Because gregariousness is a meaningless, low-value thing for him.
Instead of wasting time on "meaningless gregariousness", it is better to use it to enjoy your life.
From a psychological point of view:
A person is strong and confident in his heart, and needs to rely on his inner sense of value, self-identity, self-realization, etc. to prove it.
It is never caused by the number of friends, social skills, or external environment.
If you yourself "have no connotation, no ability, no real ability", even if the people around you praise you and worship you every day, it is meaningless.
In the end, it will cause you to "overinflate" and not be able to identify yourself properly.
People who do not love to be gregarious and have few friends, their social outlook is more inclined to "streamline socialization".
-03
The more you see it, the more you like to be alone
Such people often look at social relationships from the "perspective of God" and as outsiders.
They see through socialization.
Like what:
1. Understand that the essence of social networking is value exchange
When you are valuable, even if you do not take the initiative to socialize, there will be various people close to you and please you.
Instead of wasting time on social management, take the time to improve yourself and consolidate your self-worth.
2. Think that socializing is a very troublesome thing
things and people that need to be camouflaged, that need to perform, that need to endure trouble; For a long time, a person often can't tell which role is his true self.
In the end, he lost his heart.
3. On the road of life, enjoy being alone more
It is precisely because they see more hypocrisy in social interaction, see through social relationships, and "underestimate the necessary relationship between people", so they love to be alone.
In the days of a person, life shines.
This state is good, every day is very satisfying and moisturized.
No need to look at other people's faces, no need to pretend;
Instead of wasting time, you can make the most of your downtime to do more.
Today's Topic:
Do you like to be alone?
What is your attitude towards socializing?