Text | Thirteenth sister
As we all know, there is such a group, weekends and holidays are the busiest, and going to work is like a holiday. They are the hardcore mothers of today.
Especially every Monday, the WeChat group that has been silent for two days comes back to life because they start to work, and from dawn until midnight, they release endless words and countless knowledge points in the group.
Every weekday is not only the holiday of old mothers, but also a life lesson for everyone to learn knowledge and gain insight.
Yesterday was Monday, and once again I started catching up with them chatting since I opened my eyes in the morning. Watching the chats of old mothers, it is a quick eye, you look down and pick up a pen, they can talk from 1+1=2 to fermion Pauli incompatibility and Lorentz transform.
Not only is the speed staggering, but the breadth and depth of the content is also appalling.
From the inferiority and rebellion of adolescence to the easing of parent-child relationships, from junior high school mathematics to college philosophy, from learning methods to the empathy ability of pig teammates, from work pressure to low expectations...
From hair loss prevention and sleep adjustment to adjusting spouses, from lifelong learning to environment and personality, from good book recommendations to obsessive-compulsive disorder treatment...
Two hours passed.
Then everyone started talking about relationships and teaching according to their aptitude, then straight men, financial independence, pregnancy emotions, and then German men for a while.
After that, they smoothly switched channels, starting to talk from financial management to chest tightness and cough, from unwanted pregnancy to love, from monogamy to chimpanzees, and then from social resources to elite women...
The morning went by.
They started talking about kindergarten, picture books, sex education, TV dramas...
Then talk about travel, sibling love, stay-at-home mom, essays, interest classes, fear of marriage, gender relations, dopamine...
Then I talked about part-time work, divorce and second marriage, temperament, bipolar disorder, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, high emotional intelligence...
After that, there are cultural differences, door-to-door, rotten housework, doing subtraction, Douluo Continent, second children and three children...
When it was tea time, they continued to talk non-stop about aesthetic degradation, applied psychology, luxury counters, homosexuality, weight loss as if they were AIs who did not have to eat...
Then another group of people joined, and the conversation began to turn to absence epilepsy, subconscious, spoken English, introduction to yoga, serious illness, anxiety, dyslexia...
After a while, another wave came, and began to discuss the reform of the middle school entrance examination, heavy vocational high school and general high school, veterinary medicine, medical beauty, early love, online games, hollow heart disease, love brain, physics problems, hair removal...
Hours passed, and in the blink of an eye it was dusk.
Their topics turned to heart rate monitoring and wool coats, Chinese medicine pulse and aunt chaos, astragalus pulse drink, dentist, prevention of myopia, and even talked about why boys shake when urinating...
After dinner, their conversation continued to flow.
While eating dinner, I looked at the knowledge points in the group like an ocean, and a sister said:
"I have my own veterinary hospital, feed factory, dairy farm, experimental pig farm of 300 pigs, experimental chicken farm of 3,000 chickens in the university, all of which are theoretical and practical, some people say that your university vivid hand ability is not comparable to our rural bosses, I castrated two big roosters for them on the spot, saying that I killed 75 pigs for my graduation thesis..."
Okay guys, I'm really proud of you.
This has really surpassed the ordinary chatter, some people in a group do popular science, some talk about psychotherapy, some introduce medication experience, some share how to improve the baby's grades, and some people teach you how to improve your husband's enthusiasm for housework...
In just one day of chatting, I may have to spend the second half of my life precipitating these knowledge points.
What's more, I tried to find a certain topic to talk to my thirteenth brother-in-law, and I didn't think about anything to talk about, either because I didn't think he understood or I didn't think he did. Maybe only the reason why a man has to shake when he urinates, he can be blinded.
You see, we have to start thinking about this ultimate question again: what is the value of pig teammates.
Especially compared to the female friends around us, pig teammates have neither emotional value nor emotional value.
And the reason why these mothers have so much to talk about with their sisters in the group can also show that they are holding back at home, and their husbands are not a good chat partner at all.
A while ago, I said to my child's father: "I went to the hospital today and found that those men who see a doctor basically have a woman accompanying them, but those women who see a doctor are basically alone, don't they need to be accompanied?" This time the woman is too strong, causing the man to be even more inconsiderate! ”
The child's father was silent for three seconds, and slowly floated out a sentence: "You actually have a parking space when you go to the hospital?" ”
You never know how their brain circuits are formed, as if the elementary school teacher didn't teach him what exactly is the focus of a conversation and when to say something to pick up the topic thrown by the other party... But really, most of the time they can cleverly and precisely avoid all the points you want to meet him.
Just because the meeting points are avoided, men really can't teach.
If the chat between women looks like this:
Then the man's chat looks like this:
In terms of brain circuits, the difference between men and women is not possible.
Since you can't teach, many times "not talking" is the best marriage stabilizer.
Or the old saying I said before: talking to a woman makes me angry, and talking to my husband only makes me angry.
When I say to my husband, "I'm not very happy with my lately form," he will say, "You just lack exercise."
When I say to my husband, "I'm not sleeping well these days," he will say, "You just don't exercise."
I had a bad appetite and he said I lacked exercise.
I didn't want to work, he said I lacked exercise.
If you're unhappy because of this, he'll recognize the mistake, stop mentioning the lack of exercise, and say you're playing on your phone.
It took me years of precipitation and thinking to conclude that "a straight man of steel is a creature that is difficult to provide emotional value", but in the spirit of humanitarianism, we should not give up exploring other values because others have defects in this area.
I also wasted a lot of effort in finding my husband's other values, oh no, it took a lot of effort.
One of my bathrooms always smelled of smoke a while ago, and I guessed that the downstairs neighbor was smoking at the window, and the smell of smoke wafted in, but it was useless when I closed the window, and the smell of smoke continued to come in, which made me crazy.
If it had been a few years ago, I would have solved this problem myself, investigated the cause, found a way, and achieved it in one go. But now, in order to explore the value of my husband, I endure the smell of smoke every day while constantly exporting my madness to him, throwing out huge PUA words such as "I'm going to die" and "this house can't be lived" when I see him. Let him know a truth: "I'm not comfortable, and he doesn't want to be comfortable." ”
Then, under pressure from me to complain about the smell of smoke every day, he finally got a seal and pasted the entire window from beginning to end. Really! No more smell of smoke!
You see, isn't the value of your husband coming out?
Of course I praised him.
Then, in order to enjoy the pleasure of being praised, he plans to change the filter of the air purifier and continue to prove his worth while it is in good condition.
This kind of filter change is a three-minute thing in my consciousness.
But can you understand the steel straight man's way of thinking? In order to reflect greater value, people dismantled the entire purifier, reasoning: "I want to disinfect and clean every screw inside." ”
That's fine, but you'll have to put it back in when you're done!
A week later, the disassembled purifier is still scattered on my balcony in the form of parts.
After another five days, at my repeated urging, he finally started to assemble, but stopped work halfway through the assembly because "two nuts were missing." ”
The eldest brother was so fully armed to hold his beloved purifier and observe, and then observed, perhaps thinking that after observing it like this for one night, two nuts could fall from the sky.
This purifier, which I could have replaced the filter in three minutes, has become scrap copper and rotten iron in his hands, and I don't know when I can use it.
But think about it, we can't deny him with one mouth, we can only accept and wait, if there are emotions, go to female friends to find out the mouth and answer.
Sure enough, in the middle-aged mother's psychiatric treatment group that is continuously output from morning to night, there will definitely be some kind of answer you want.
Take the pig teammate as your resource, if the resource is not good, optimize and upgrade moderately, and if you can't optimize, you will dig other points where he can become a resource. If the value is high enough, it will be used properly, and if the value is low, it will learn to be compatible.
If female friends bring us the possibility of continuous upward pursuit and progress, then what our husband brings us may be a broad mind that is constantly downwardly inclusive.
Finding His value downward, perhaps looking inward for a part of ourselves, may be the way we must become a more complete person.