I wonder if you usually brush up on some meaningful street activities?
For example, a little girl asks a stranger on the street to borrow a sanitary napkin to test the reaction of a stranger; There are open arms on the streets of the busy city, waiting for an active hug from strangers-by; There are also Chinese bloggers boxing with foreigners on the streets of Australia, and then giving each other small gifts with Chinese characteristics...
These street activities are warm and often make us feel the warmth and empathy between people.
Digging sauce recently brushed up on a campaign called "Save the Suffocating Girls on the Street", which is also profound.
This is a social practice in which all the girls passing by participate.
The initiator of the event prepared a mannequin covered with various labels, and after attaching the label, the model was moved to the most crowded place in the downtown area.
Slowly, people began to stop and watch.
The girls pondered for a moment, so someone began to help the model tear off the label and write down encouragement for herself.
There was even a girl who tore off many sheets in one go, presumably also having a deep understanding of these stereotypical definitions.
Look at the labels on the models, tanks, good marriages, leftover women, money-losing goods... These dazzling labels were torn off one by one.
And what the girls tear off is not only the label, but also the indelible pain that happens to them behind this label. Every time Digging Sauce sees a label, he can immediately think of one-to-one correspondence and real-world examples.
Remember the girls who were insulted by boys from the same school for being "tanks"?
A boy from a university in Xi'an randomly picked up strange female classmates in the school, asked for the contact information of the other party, and was publicly broadcast by him throughout the whole process to get the audience's rewards.
In a live broadcast, he focused the camera on two female classmates not far away and said to the audience in the live broadcast room:
"In front of me, two tanks sit."
Some people may not understand that the tank originally refers to the person who rushes to the front of the game to open the way, and it is also a relatively large character.
If you say that a girl is a tank in life, the first layer means that she is too fat.
Along with the stigma of "tank", there are many people who leave the remarks of "press the F key to enter the tank" in the barrage.
Such a label is not only a naked personal attack, its second meaning is the extremely foul-smelling sexualization and humiliation of women.
After saying these words, the boy stepped forward to ask for the contact information of the two girls.
The girl asked her why, and he immediately replied in a smooth voice: "I want to add you to WeChat, see that you look good." ”
After leaving, he laughed at the audience in the live broadcast room: "Did you just see what she looks like?" ”
Obviously, this is a malicious sneak peek pick-up.
Someone is a "tank", someone is a "bamboo pole".
Sometimes, when he sees a girl with long legs on campus, he will zoom out so that the audience in the live broadcast room can clearly see the girl's appearance.
After the video in the live broadcast room was recorded and spread by some netizens, some people watched it with relish, and commented on the girl's appearance, of course, more people still expressed strong doubts and asked the school to strictly investigate the student.
His Xi'an University of Finance and Economics quickly reacted and placed the boy on probation.
Some people also say that because of a malicious secretly photographed and verbal hi behavior, he lost his degree certificate that was hard to get into college, is this a big price?
Digging sauce felt that it was not enough.
Later, the boy was picked up and often used "dog" to refer to women on Weibo.
The insulting word "tank" is also often used and has become a code of communication between him and his "brothers".
In the end, it was even found that the male classmate and the famous Go player Ke Jie were friends of Weibo mutual relations, and Ke Jie closed him after the incident, which pulled out another piece of right and wrong.
Ke Jie, the first person to fight Alpha Dog in China's Go game, naturally does not need to say much about his Go talent, but he himself often expresses strong malice towards women.
For women and female opponents who are in real contact with in life, Ke Jie does not shy away from expressing prejudice and malice.
For example, in 2016, a male Chinese player lost to a female player in South Korea. In this regard, Ke Jie's comment is: hit the beauty scheme.
As we all know, he is also the "first person to Weibo to line extreme feminism" in the eyes of some men, and Ke Jie, who has such a privilege, is also handy in dealing with various gender issues.
Some bloggers said that the 9 winners of the sports event are obviously women, but the pictures are all men, such news expression is inappropriate, Ke Jie's evaluation is: The King of Fighters.
When Jiang Jinfu's domestic violence incident was exposed, Ke Jie did not shy away from supporting this "punch out" behavior in the comment area.
For the slandering of women's appearance, Ke Jie also reached an agreement with the boy who had secretly photographed the female classmate with him.
For girls on Weibo who disagree with him, he will turn to her homepage, find points in her appearance that can be attacked, and then paste that foul-smelling label -
Tank.
From the eyes of the world, Ke Jie is undoubtedly a "successful man", but his character and professional achievements are obviously not equal.
Unfortunately, this is not a special case, whether it is an ordinary male college student, or a Go genius, may show the same inferiority when facing the other gender.
However, how can ordinary girls have only the ridiculous accusation of "tank size" in their lives?
When a girl is young, people care about her face and figure, and evaluate whether they fit the mainstream aesthetic range of white and thin.
At this time, they can be sexy, neutral, and even versatile, because these are the privileges of youth.
However, when they reach a certain age, the moment the social clock strikes, they are required to immediately converge their personality, become a commodity with the characteristics of "good marriage", and enter the marriage market to be sold.
The so-called "good marriage style", as the name suggests, is the style that looks very good to get along with, makes men feel good, and can't help but want to marry home immediately.
If you have to give an example, Satomi Ishihara's various outfits in the Japanese drama "Lovelorn Chocolate Professional" have always been regarded as a full score teaching material for "good marriage style".
There is a blogger in China named "Ma Xiaoting's Good Marriage Style", and after years of deep cultivation, the essence of "Good Marriage Style" has gradually materialized, and even formed his own "Ma Xiaoting Teaching".
Under her summary, the outfit of "good wedding style" basically contains the following elements:
White and pink, dresses, floral dresses, length should not be too short, the material should be soft, lace edges, ruffles and bows are a plus.
Rather than establishing a standard of dressing, "good marriage" is an externalization of women in order to please men and become "good wives and good mothers" in the secular sense.
Pink, lace trim, dress, representing gentleness, submissiveness, tolerance, love, which are the necessary qualities that are easier to be "chosen" in the marriage market.
As a member of women, Ma Xiaoting also intentionally or unintentionally labeled women as a traffic password for the Internet.
In one label after another, women's identification with their own worth will only become more and more blurred.
The flip side of "good marriage" is the objectification of women into "wombs with two legs."
This label is telling everyone that when the best childbearing age comes, all a woman's desires must give way to reproduction, and please immediately become a good wife and mother who can be trusted by her partner.
Ma Xiaoting's logic of "good marriage" is clear: since the world is already gender inequality, women might as well use their "advantages" to grab more benefits in the marriage relationship.
This is also the reason why many people say that she is a "woman", she teaches girls to master her husband's salary card, teaches girls the art of husbandry, and holds the house, car, and ticket in her hands.
In the short term, this does give some women tangible benefits.
But if you take a long-term view, you will find that this will only further confinuate women in the family.
It is a gold-rimmed, pink bubble, downward freedom.
Some people have become fans of "good marriage", but there are always some girls who do not enter marriage at the so-called age of marriage.
Then, they have become "leftover women" and "money-losers" in the eyes of some people...
The term "leftover woman" has not been heard often in recent years, but in some more general social perceptions, women who are over a certain age and are not married have become a "money-loser".
Remember a phenomenal discussion on the Internet, which appeared in the comment area of dancer Yang Liping:
"A woman's greatest failure is not having a child."
This comment even received 15,000 likes, and it is conceivable that there are many people who agree.
Yang Liping has contributed so many wonderful dances to the world, and she will be questioned as a "loser" without children and daughters.
So, if thousands of ordinary girls choose to refuse to enter into marriage, how will they be evaluated?
Two years ago, there was a very popular documentary called "Leftover Women".
One of the heroines, named Qiu Huamei, went all the way from a small mountain village in Shandong Province to a higher education institution in Beijing, and stayed in Beijing to become a lawyer after graduation.
Whether in the workplace or among friends, Hua Mei is undoubtedly an excellent professional woman.
But in the eyes of her family, Hua Mei's various social identities have disappeared, she is a 34-year-old unmarried woman, a complete "leftover girl".
Back at home, the four sisters took turns bombarding her:
"Not marrying is sentencing"
"If you don't get married, no matter how happy you are, it's not called happiness"
Hua Mei is not without efforts, she has been to a marriage agency, the red lady asked her what kind of other half she wanted to find, Hua Mei said:
"I want him to be well educated, and the most important thing is to respect the wishes of women and be able to share household chores with me."
As a result, the red lady immediately began to perform a large PUA on her:
You are not beautiful, you are old, you are in good shape, you are all fooling yourself...
You see, everything that is important to men: social identity, career development, relationships, for example, are unimportant elements in women.
For a woman, it seems that only age and appearance determine her value, but also the value in marriage.
In fact, the problem of "leftover men" is much more serious than that of "leftover women".
Because to some extent, the "leftover woman" actively chooses not to enter the marriage, but the "leftover man" is the one who is left.
Older unmarried women in Japan often use "defeated dogs" to ridicule their failed celibacy status.
However, in the view of gender studies scholar Chizuko Ueno, there are obviously more "male and defeated dogs" in Japan, but they never participate in such mainstream discussions, because -
"If you can laugh at yourself, the name of 'defeated dog' will become a 'joke'; if you can't laugh at yourself, 'defeated dog' will become a 'problem'. Jokes make people laugh, problems make people laugh, not only can't laugh, but also very 'pain'. ”
So don't be angry when a man labels a woman as a "leftover woman," because he may be the one who hurts the most.
In China, especially during this year's Chinese New Year, many unmarried women have become "unmarried aunts" with money and leisure.
Although Diao-chan does not agree with this insinuation that "not marrying equals golden beauty", this seems to substitute women into another image that seems free but is actually very stereotyped.
However, from "leftover women" to "unmarried sisters", this is indeed an initiative for women to make a name for themselves, and it is a change in the right to speak.
Such a "sister-in-law" represents a kind of rebellion, an image of a new-age woman who dares to say no to mainstream values.
Only in the future, I hope that another kind of "unmarried aunt" and "single aunt" will appear, which can provide more vivid images and constantly broaden the boundaries of female images.
Let's go back to the social practice of "saving suffocating girls on the street" at the beginning.
Finally, with "tanks", "money-losers", "leftover women" ... The labels were torn off, revealing the clothes that the models were wearing, and on them were written what the girls really wanted to say: be yourself without being defined.
Perhaps, as women, our life's lesson is to tear off the label and become unique at the same time.
Although this lesson is difficult and bound to encounter all kinds of resistance, it must ultimately point to true freedom and courage.