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She died, what about the inheritance?

She died, what about the inheritance?
She died, what about the inheritance?

As a finisher, counting the partings of life and death witnessed over the years, Kapok is most impressed that usually people have been dead for many years, and living people still can't start a new life.

"Sometimes it's not death itself that we're afraid of, it's the fear that there's no way to say goodbye."

She died, what about the inheritance?
She died, what about the inheritance?

Out of professional sensitivity, when Mu Mian first stepped into Zhang Yue's home, he immediately glanced at the "somewhat special" room. It was a three-bedroom house, Zhang Yue and her father lived in one each, and the other was filled with debris.

She stared at the room, and the first thing she saw was the sheer volume of furniture—tables and wardrobes in an old style that were placed against the wall in the room.

Closer up, an aged hairpin lay on a red-lacquered wooden table, and in the drawer were scattered old-fashioned coins and ledgers. The ground is occupied by daily necessities such as paper towels, rice, cooking oil, and small household appliances.

It's a different world compared to the other two bedrooms.

Kapok approached the wardrobe, and as soon as it was opened, the smell of mold came to his face. She looked at the pile of women's clothes in front of her and asked, "Whose room is this?" ”

Knowing that it was Zhang Yue's mother, Kapok was a little puzzled, "Doesn't your mother live here?" ”

"Mom has died."

Seeing that Zhang Yue's mood suddenly gaped, and the answer changed from talking and laughing to being distracted, Mu Mian decided to know more about the nearly 40-year-old woman in front of him.

This is a whole house tidying up service. As a finisher, Kapok should first be familiar with the other party's living environment, then explore the other party's demands, and finally give an appropriate finishing plan.

What needs to be understood most at the moment is Zhang Yue's attitude towards that room. Kapok knocked on the side, encouraging her to tell the story of the past that had been buried in her heart for many years.

When she was 9 years old, Zhang Yue's mother died in a car accident, leaving her and her father to rely on each other. For the next two or three decades, the father and daughter lived with pain.

Unable to face this sudden separation, let alone what to do with the relics of the deceased, they locked them all in the next room, "for decades."

In the days that followed, the home was shrouded in a "not very happy" atmosphere. Zhang Yue and her father rarely stepped into that room, and did not want to enter it, and eventually tacitly turned it into a room for hoarding items.

After listening to this story, Kapok was very moved, "It turns out that after a person leaves, it has such a great impact on the living people, decades have passed, and it still affects them." She thought.

She died, what about the inheritance?

kapok

Kapok tentatively asked, "Then should this room be tidied up together?" ”

Zhang Yue nodded. She thus became the client of Kapok Reception's first relic collection.

Speaking of that tidying up, Kapok told us that the items involve people's feelings and cannot be disposed of hastily. She needed to ask Zhang Yue again and again to confirm which items could be kept and which needed to be removed.

The process of sorting out relics is also a process of helping clients face the pain and clean up the pain.

Zhang Yue's mother had the habit of keeping accounts before her death, "What I bought every day and how much money I spent, I wrote it down on paper." There is also an IOU in the ledger with the borrower's name on it. ”

This is naturally an important item. Kapok put away the ledger and old-fashioned coins in the drawer for Zhang Yue.

While tidying up the wardrobe, a scarf with red wool caught Kapok's attention, and she held it in her hand and saw that magpies were woven on it. Zhang Yue on the side told her that this was an object when her parents got married. So, the scarf was also kept.

She died, what about the inheritance?

Kapok is being tidyed

Most of the memories of the family are some items with a sense of age. The French clip on the table with broken diamonds was already rusty; square wooden mirrors on the wall, broken and painted; Threaded thermal slippers, covered with dust...

These are all things that Zhang Yue is reluctant to throw.

Kapok kept her wishes, along with a light blue shirt. The previous generation lived in an era of material scarcity. When going to the fields to do farm work, people often wear clothes cut from coarse cloth, and only when they go to relatives, they are willing to change into clothes of better materials.

And that really good shirt is one of the ones that Zhang Yue's mother cherishes.

In the past few years, everything about his mother was deposited in Zhang Yue's heart that he did not dare to touch. She has never shared the past with others, and this time she was able to reveal her heart to Kapok and sort out her mother's relics with her hands, Zhang Yue felt that the whole person had been greatly released.

"This matter has been blocked in my dad and my hearts for too long, and I already knew that you would also do relic tidying, and I must have done this earlier." She is grateful to Kapok.

Recalling the mood of sorting out the relics, Kapok made a sigh: "Sometimes, what we are afraid of is not death itself, but fear that there is no way to say goodbye." ”

She died, what about the inheritance?

Kapok also had depressing, painful moments. That was six or seven years ago, and she was an executive at a real estate company in Xiamen.

She called herself a strong woman at the time, "stepping on sky-high shoes to work every day, talking very quickly, quickly, as if in war." ”

Because it is a marketing position, Kapok is busy day and night, and does not rest on holidays. The year she gave birth to her daughter, she remembered that she often worked overtime with a big belly, and for a while, she worked overtime until one or two o'clock in the morning for more than a month. When he returned home, his husband had already fallen asleep.

In this state for a long time, before Kapok could not eat his own body, the husband began to complain. "He said that home is a hotel for me, and I don't see anyone when I sleep, and I have never participated in my daughter's upbringing."

In the years after marriage, Kapok has been living with her father-in-law, and she does not have to worry about housework, and the care of her daughter and the transportation to and from school are also the responsibility of the two elderly people.

This is the main reason why she is able to devote herself to her work. And because of neglecting the family, the contradictions between the husband and wife gradually escalated, from the previous "three days and a small quarrel, five days of a big quarrel", and finally to the step of "divorce".

The idea of divorce was proposed by the husband. When he heard those two words, Kapok felt like a stick.

Today, she still can't help but joke to herself, "I was really arrogant at that time, I felt that I was beautiful and could earn money, how did I get to this point?" ”

Calm down Kapok and start doing reflection. Whether to quit and return to the family, or to divorce in style. This puts her in a dilemma.

In front of her, Kapok has been working in the real estate field for 13 years and has good career prospects, and marriage is also something she is unwilling to give up.

She began to examine her own life.

She died, what about the inheritance?

kapok

One night, while lying in bed and sleeping, Kapok suddenly felt something fall down. She thought it was a mouse, turned on the light to check, and found that a large piece of wall skin had fallen on the bed.

Kapok lost her sleep, and she sat on the edge of the bed looking at the shabby scene in this second-hand house, breaking down and crying. "How did my life become like this? Home is not like home, marriage must also be divorced. ”

After crying, a voice came out of her heart: she had had enough of this life.

Kapok was determined to tidy up and decorate the home. So the next first task was to resign, "otherwise there would be no time to do this". Coupled with the accumulation of pressure in the workplace to a certain extent, Kapok developed a sense of burnout at work, and resigning to return to her family became her final choice.

After leaving the workplace, Kapok first painted the walls, then threw away the old furniture, and finally removed as many as a thousand of his clothes and unused items. The home is new, and Kapok's mentality is different from the past, "I feel that the whole person has changed his face." ”

The husband saw her change, and the relationship between the two gradually eased.

Kapok had a lot of time to read and do housework, and she came into contact with the book "Breaking and Leaving Away", and also browsed the sharing of netizens about "tidying" work.

During her days in the library, she experienced the wider world and world through books, "I saw a diverse life and came into contact with people and knowledge in different fields. Kapok said.

She decided to find her own way to live.

Based on reading, Kapok learned that there is a profession called "finisher" in the world, but it has not yet formed a scale in China. She met some tidying enthusiasts online, joined the relevant community, and often exchanged ideas with everyone.

In 2016, some people in China launched a course of "finisher", and Kapok signed up after learning about it.

"As soon as I started class, I decided that I would do it in the future." She recalls what she thought at the time.

She died, what about the inheritance?

The job of a finisher is not as easy as it thinks. Because they couldn't make money in the early stage, most of the people who took classes with Kapok switched to other industries. She was one of the few who made it to the end.

In the days when he was not understood by his family, Kapok immersed himself in improving his ability. Every time she came to help others do 3-5 hours of public welfare tidying, after this matter spread in a small area, Kapok had more customers.

Some clients think that their hearts and lives have been sorted out after receiving her public welfare tidying up, and out of gratitude, they will pay some tips. After a long time, Kapok began to have confidence in his ability, until he became a well-known finisher in China.

In 2017, Kapok registered its own brand studio, which grew from one person to a team.

She died, what about the inheritance?

kapok

In recent years, she has come into contact with more clients, mostly young people, who want to do relics sorting.

Cheng Lu is a post-90s returnee who returned to Xiamen from abroad two years ago and participated in several salons held by Kapok. She deeply recognized Kapok and brought her mother with her mother at an event.

Her mom is a librarian. Due to the death of her husband and a series of family conflicts, Cheng Lu's mother fell into an emotional swamp and could not get out. Her idea was to help her mother get out of the dark days.

At first, her mom refused to attend the event and didn't agree that doing relics tidying up could make a difference.

In 2019, Kapok finally took the team to Cheng Lu's home, and she revealed the story of the family of three little by little, as well as the hidden pain in Cheng Lu's mother's heart.

Cheng Lu's father, a university professor, died 8 years ago in a hurry due to cancer without leaving any will. This became a source of family conflict. Many relatives came to fight for property, quarreled with Cheng Lu's mother, and even went to court.

Cheng Lu's mother has to digest the grief of her husband's death while dealing with the unbearable and broken chickens in life. When she had nowhere to spread her anger, she had to blame her husband for leaving her a mess and develop a kind of resentment towards her husband.

The tidying of kapok begins in the study. It was also the professor's favorite place during his lifetime, filled with books, musical instruments, photographs, and photographic equipment.

She died, what about the inheritance?

Before and after tidying

Kapok is the first thing to organize is the photo. Photos of the family's travel at different times, photos of Cheng Lu going to kindergarten for the first time, and a group photo of the whole family going abroad together. On the back of each one, a pen records the time and place of shooting.

As more and more photos were sorted out by Kapok, Cheng Lu's mother appeared in front of her like a movie, and the image of a family of three getting together appeared.

"It turns out that my husband is so careful and careful." Her anger towards her husband was disappearing little by little.

When the tidying up reached the epistolary section, the professor's image became fleshed out. Students praised him in their letters as humorous, while letters from friends described him as optimistic. On paper, they talk about old stories, music, and life. The other side of a professor's personality was discovered in this way.

Cheng Lu's mother flipped through those letters and couldn't help laughing, "At home he is silent, it turns out that he still has such a side." ”

Half a year after the finishing work, Kapok visited Cheng Lu again. The message was, "My mom started a new relationship. ”

Since Cheng Lu's father died, a suitor has appeared by her mother's side. But indulging in the pain of her husband's death, she refused to be approached by outsiders.

By the time Kapok knew about this, the two had been dating for more than half a year, "already in love." Kapok recalled with a smile.

Through serving others and receiving positive feedback, she feels more confident that what she does has value. And being able to make a difference in other people's lives is exactly what Kapok finds from this job.

She died, what about the inheritance?

Another impressive young man that Kapok came into contact with was the father of two children, named Chen Kai. His wife, Fifi, died of cancer when her son was just over two years old and her daughter was a few months old.

On the day he went to Chen Kai's house, Mu Mian watched him take out his wife's clothes, and each time he picked up a piece, he could tell the corresponding scene. A pair of suspenders was worn by Feifei when he was playing at the beach, and Chen Kai once took a photo of her: Feifei was pregnant with her son, smiling at the camera.

When talking about his wife's favorite dark green vest dress, Chen Kai turned over the photo album again. Seeing the girl with a simple temperament, Kapok couldn't help but praise, "It's so beautiful, it's a very literary young woman." ”

Touching those clothes, Kapok felt that he was having a conversation with Fifi. She felt that Fifi seemed to be there, and the smiling face in the photo was always active in her mind.

"I think it's a natural empathy and closeness for both women and mothers." She said.

During the tidying process, Chen Kai made choices based on the memories of his past life, and he could quickly recall the clothes of the scene, and he asked Kapok to help store and save them. In the end, only a small number of clothes were eliminated.

He hopes that in the future, he can use Feifei's relics to make a "mother's memorial" for his two children, so that they can build a bridge of communication with their mother through these items.

Over the years as a finisher, Kapok slowly understood the passage in "Coco". When a person dies, it is not a real death, only if it is forgotten by everyone.

She said that every time she finished the relic sorting service, she felt different in the face of death, sometimes calm, sometimes powerless, and sometimes full of strength.

In addition to the guidance and advice for the client, all Kapok can do is listen and accompany, "All relationships will come to an abrupt end with the advent of death, and we can only cherish the people in front of you and cherish the life in front of you." ”

She died, what about the inheritance?

kapok

Over the course of nearly 10 years, Kapok's father has undergone three accidents and two surgeries. For almost a month, she accompanied her father in the hospital.

Kapok admits that she often faces the fear of death when it comes. She's still trying to sort out that emotion.

In her spare time, she raises flowers, drinks tea, basks in the sun, and continues to learn about meditation culture. Understanding death and recognizing death allowed her to maintain a healthy concept of death, "Only by lifting the veil of death will the fear in her heart subside little by little." ”

That's why she's committed to post-morte. To this end, Kapok advises a person to plan ahead when he realizes that his time is short, such as how to arrange property, how to deal with daily items, and what kind of medical treatment to choose.

"We need death education so much. Everyone has the day of death, and doing a good job of tidying up before death can reduce a lot of regrets. ”

*The characters in the article are pseudonyms, and the pictures are provided by the interviewee.

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