I saw a submission in the background the other day, and the girl said that she had recently encountered some love confusion, because she had no emotional experience, so she couldn't tell whether she liked that person, or simply got used to his company and began to care.
My answer at the time was that habit is that you unilaterally accept the other person's goodness, but don't want to give. And the like is that even if he has shortcomings, you still have a heart for him, and when he is good to you, you want to double back.
But now I want to add another situation, like is a positive heartbeat, but habit is sometimes likely to be an illusionary heartbeat that can make you confuse love and reality.
Because after I replied to this girl's doubts, my friend turned his head and fell into a loveless mood before he started falling in love because he was dependent on people who were not possible, and he couldn't get out.
In a relationship with a low concentration of love, in fact, the emergence of habits and dependence is not a good thing, but it prefers similar moments like every girl can't escape.
During the ambiguous period, you will develop from small talk to long conversations all night every day, under the back and forth conversation, the coincidence and tacit understanding of frequent chats make your feelings for him begin to deteriorate, but whenever you take the initiative to express your heart, some clues shown by the other party will make you forced to wake up.
You know you won't get results, but you're getting used to connecting with him, and you'll still unconsciously share anything new with him.
The same is true after a breakup, your ex has turned the page early, but only you remain where you are, or even start to step back. The relationship that should have ended tomorrow morning is only because of your reluctance, and only because you are used to paying for him.
After breaking up, you will always think about his good, and even ignore all the shortcomings of the other party, only see the part you miss, and can't give up the past.
Including my friend, she met a boy at a dinner party who was recognized as a playful boy, and each relationship never lasted more than three months, and there was always no shortage of dates.
From the moment they added their contact information, my friend knew that this person wasn't worth it, and she knew she was just one of the many people they cared for.
Ideally, she thought that she would enjoy an ambiguity for a short time, independent and sober, and withdraw in time at the right moment. But the reality is that after they kept chatting and confiding in their hearts and making contact, she gradually fell and was moved by the understanding and humor of the other party again and again.
On the one hand, she emphasized that she could not like the other party, but on the other hand, she had been deceiving herself, subconsciously expecting to receive the other party's message every time the mobile phone vibrate.
If liking is the beginning of a relationship, then habituation and dependence on an object that has no results is a spoiled liking that extremely consumes your lover's ability.
Originally, my friend could have a normal and long-term relationship, but now he is trapped in this useless one-way ambiguity, constantly entangled with impossible people.
Almost everyone knows that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, but no one realizes that it takes only a few days, or even less, to inertia with an unsuitable person.
And in this case, if you have a good impression of a person who starts a relationship and will definitely end immediately, in the end it will be like a drug addiction, with a quick onset and great stamina, and you can't quit if you want to.
It is important to distinguish the difference between likes and habits, but what is more important than this is that you can really stop the loss in time after you distinguish them.
So here I am, I want to remind my friends who are prone to falling into relationships, if you know that he is not the right person, don't continue.
Slowly get away from him, delete him, stop continuing to connect with the idea that we can be ordinary friends, don't fantasize that he will change, don't expect you to have a slim chance, and don't have a paranoid desire for conquest because of love.
All of the above will become an excuse for you to get used to him and become addicted to him. After all, you must understand that the most vulnerable person in love is not the love brain, but the sober love brain.
Head picture / Aren Aaren
Illustration / Do you want to heat up this romance? 》