The Spring Festival is over, and the "revenge divorce" strikes after the year.
The most lively thing these days is the Civil Affairs Bureau, and recently, a video of the Civil Affairs Bureau being full on the first day of work after the year has aroused heated discussions among many netizens. A man in Fuyang, Anhui Province, photographed that the Civil Affairs Bureau was crowded on the first day of work, and only two couples got married, and the divorced queue had already lined up outside the Civil Affairs Bureau.
Of course, the backlog of work during the New Year period is not excluded, but there is also a factor to consider: why the year is over, but this day does not want to go down. Shouldn't you take this opportunity to connect with your relationship and save your partner? How did you still get to the step of divorce?
Some people have said that the Spring Festival is a mirror of marriage, and it seems that it is still not wrong at all.
Lin Qingxuan said: When a person cannot live a good year, the New Year often brings more loneliness and sadness than usual.
Who doesn't want to have a good year? We all have the original intention of having a good year, but the problem is when your partner is idle, or is it the same as before, he doesn't want to live a good life with you. Seeing that people's New Year celebrations are lively, the two of you have fierce quarrels over such contradictions as "who to go back to for the New Year", "who accompanies the children", "how many red envelopes to give parents" and so on.
The greater the hope, the more disappointment accumulates, and the heart is already cold.
In the past year, it did not let you feel the warmth of love, but more just chills.
I myself had a good year and didn't quarrel with my husband, but the premise that we can achieve such harmony is that we both want to have a good year. We cleaned the house together, went to the supermarket and vegetable market to stock up on New Year's goods, and he never shirked responsibility when he needed to bring his children. Two people working together and sharing with each other can they have a good New Year.
But if my husband does not fulfill his responsibilities and does nothing to do in the New Year, how can we have a good year? I will also quarrel with him in marriage, and I will feel that this day cannot be carried on.
Everyone wants to live a good life, why not divorce for happiness?
01. "Spring Festival and my husband go home for the New Year, I want to divorce"
She didn't want to go back to her in-laws' house for the New Year, and told her husband many times, but her husband was very stubborn and resolutely disagreed.
"You want to accompany your parents, and I also think, I haven't celebrated the New Year with my parents for four or five years, why can't I go back to my mother's house."
"If you marry me, you have to listen to me, how can you go to your mother's house for the New Year." If we don't go back for the New Year, my parents will be laughed at. ”
The husband only thinks about his parents, but has he ever thought about how long it has been since Yun Yue returned to his mother's house.
Mongyue does not like to go back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year, because she gave birth to two daughters, and she will inevitably be nagged by her mother-in-law when she goes home. She doesn't want to have a third child, continue to give birth, and it is not herself who is tied, because the "son preference" of the in-law family is too serious, and she does not want to give birth.
These moons alone can be endured, and what chills her the most is because her daughters feel sorry for the moon, so sometimes her daughters will help, but her mother-in-law still doesn't have a good face, and she said sourly: "Women, born to serve people, can't give birth to a son is a hen that can't lay eggs, give birth to a few girls who can cook, what's the use?" ”
The mother-in-law not only said in front of the child, even if outsiders came to the family, the mother-in-law would take this matter out and say:
"Having given birth to two daughters, I can't hold my grandson in this life, it's too much to suffer if I want such a daughter-in-law!"
How can you not be angry when you hear such words, that is embarrassing you in public.
What made Yun Yue even more unbearable was that her husband acquiesced to his mother-in-law's unreasonable behavior, and he did not have a little attitude towards himself. After her husband returned to his hometown, he became even more lazy, did nothing, and spent days drinking and playing mahjong with friends, throwing both children to Yunyue, leaving Yunyue alone to face the embarrassment of getting along with her mother-in-law.
After experiencing some things, he could see people's hearts clearly, and Yun Yue was disappointed in his marriage.
She didn't want to be like this every year, and if it was like this every year, what was the point of living like this.
02. After the New Year, you can see whether he loves you or not
Whether a person is worth your love, and whether a marriage is worth your continued insistence, is often more visible at the New Year. Everyone else is toasting and congratulating, only you and he are two cold people, and their hearts will slowly die.
It was almost the New Year, and Chen Jing felt a little lonely in her heart. She hadn't seen her husband for a long time. The last time I saw my husband was more than half a year ago. The reason why she separated from her husband for a long time was because Chen Jing knew that her husband was cheating. She had been waiting for her husband to give her an explanation, and she had been waiting for a long time for the Cold War.
The heart is cold, since when did the marriage of the two become speechless. Obviously, I am your wife on the marriage certificate, but when did you take me as your wife?
Chen Jing has been enduring her husband's cheating for her daughter, thinking that after all, she is the child's father, and she will take care of the child to some extent, but what she didn't expect was that "her husband forgot this daughter at all."
When she cold-war with her husband because of someone outside, her husband would no longer go home to make money when he went out to work, and rarely called home, and never asked about the child, Chen Jing wanted to have a good chat with her husband, but she couldn't find anyone.
Finally looked forward to her husband's return, her husband ignored her, Chen Jing wanted to talk to him about how to live in the future, he directly covered the quilt, and came to say "what is there to talk about".
Don't you think you're wrong? Do you owe me an apology?
"I'm just a little closer to a woman, what's wrong, are you so angry?" Did we have any substantial behavior. Even if there is, I don't need to apologize to you, this family can live all by me, can you live well without me? ”
Not admitting mistakes, shirking responsibility, and her husband's indifference made her no longer have any expectations for marriage.
For some men, your forbearance does not make him grateful, but ignores you again and again.
Originally, I wanted to reunite as a family and spend the New Year well, but now I am watching people reunited, and I am alone, and my heart is cold.
The more the New Year, the more you can see if the man has you in his heart, and is this marriage worth continuing?
It's no longer worth it, marriage has reached this, only divorce.
03. During the New Year, we should feel the beauty of marriage
I felt the beauty of marriage during the Chinese New Year. Some time ago, on New Year's Day, I was very bad, because I had a big fight with my husband on the first day of the new year, and we also communicated about the reason for the quarrel afterwards, and he also understood why I was so aggrieved.
After good communication, we are ready for a good year as the Spring Festival approaches. In fact, a few days before the New Year, my mother-in-law and I had a little conflict, and somehow my mother-in-law suddenly stopped talking, and she locked herself in the room for two days, without taking children and ignoring me. I was quite inexplicable, could it be that my husband and I had a fight on the first day of New Year's Day, and she was angry with me.
My mother-in-law didn't speak, so I booked a restaurant to take her to dinner, and she didn't say a word along the way.
This also made me complain to my husband: What's going on with your mother? It's almost the New Year, can you have a good New Year?
My husband asked me to be a little calm, and I also figured it out, maybe everyone will have a low mood, my mother-in-law ignores me, I treat it as if nothing happened, or work and live as usual, her low mood will not have any impact on me. My mother-in-law doesn't do anything, but my husband and I have to celebrate the New Year well, after all, in our small family, it is more of us two who are the leader.
To understand this: we did a thorough cleaning of the house, went to the market to buy New Year goods, and also bought lanterns and New Year decorations, and kept the house inside and out.
The mother-in-law was depressed for two or three days, and then she was well on her own.
There is no need to make each other unhappy because these things are on the line, and the proper solution can make both of them comfortable. My husband's emotional intelligence is still quite high, no matter what I complain to him, he can be willing to be a trash can for my negative emotions. I myself have a high emotional intelligence and know how to get along with my mother-in-law.
We often say that harmony generates wealth, and only when husband and wife get along with each other can we feel the atmosphere of the New Year.
Have a good year, the couple's attitude towards the New Year and the handling of family affairs can see the temperature of your marriage and the depth of your feelings.
Love is not just a wind and snow, but you know, after getting married, you know that love is not different equal to marriage, love may just need a hug, a greeting. However, marriage is different, marriage must have a material basis, the values of two people must be compatible, two people must handle each other's family relations, and be harmonious, so as to maintain the longevity of marriage.
For two husband and wife, a relationship must not be maintained by freshness alone, passion fades, contradictions and problems will follow, it is not easy for two people to grow old, after marriage, many things will change.
There is a discussion between husband and wife, and they should bear the burden together, don't be a "handshaker", let alone kidnap women. Understand and communicate more, and let them go back to their mother's house for the New Year when necessary. Don't always let her bear it, what about yourself?
If you can feel the beauty of marriage during the New Year, who wants to move the idea of divorce?
When the year is good, the heart can be warmed;
The years are not good, and I can only think about divorce.
Whether the days can go on or not, it depends on the two people who are in marriage.
Today's topic: Does the New Year make you see hope, or are you more disappointed? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; The original creator of emotions, marriage and family counselor, writes about the warm emotional affairs of this world.